(DISCLAIMER: This is more of a rant than a review, but when I read reviews, I sometimes prefer a direct appraisal of the game's fun factor rather than an autopsy on the mechanics. The rules are posted elsewhere on this site, anyway.)

Don't buy this game.

Don't let a friend talk you into trying this game.

Don't accept money or favors to take this game off someone's hands.

I saw this and freaked. Lovecraft? Innsmouth? I'm so there! Holy Cthulhu, 40 bucks...

But, I figured, it's Lovecraft, so it will surely be awesome. Instead, it's an abomination, and not in a cool Cthulhu Mythos way. Think of it more in a "claw your eyes out, set yourself and fire, run screaming into the street punching yourself in the head, and get hit by a garbage truck" kind of way.

The game:

One player controls the human, the other one to four players control the Deep Ones trying to track him down so they may sacrifice him to their mighty Dagon. The human player uses secret movement to travel around the board (pretty much a simple grid) and pick up weapons, have encounters, and find his missing friends.

The combat system is simple and straightforward, as is the game itself. Nothing really wrong with that; Tigris and Euphrates has a simple system and enjoys a level of depth unseen in most games.

Well, that's just it. There's simply no depth here. It only took one play of T & E, Arkham Horror, Puerto Rico, chess, Last Night on Earth or (insert your favorite strategy game here) to see there's some level of depth here. Sure, some of those games involve more luck than others, but they at least take some time to "figure out."

The board is tiny, the strategic locations are simple in scope and will never move, and the "hidden movement" system is just a watered down version of Fury of Dracula. I might give Innsmouth's combat system the edge over Fury of Dracula, but that's about it.

But, I regret. I mean, digress.

The components:

This is where the $40.00 I spent on this game became a grim joke. Now, if the gameplay were at all interesting, I could forgive such shoddy construction, but seeing as how playing this game is about as fun as shoving jagged glass tubes into my urethra, it's time for some payback.

First: Go ahead and look at the cover. I hope you love it, because parts of it are featured in about 70% of the cards. They just cropped pieces of the foreground and used little fuzzy images from the background in the cards, the tokens, it's EVERYWHERE and it would be hilarious if I weren't forty dollars poorer. For the love of Shub-Niggurath, every single one of the Deep One players' cards proudly brandishes the EXACT SAME ARTWORK. They didn't even bother to flip it or rotate it or focus on a different portion of the art. It's almost as if they were in the final month of development and just said, "Ah, f*** it. Let's get some beer."

Other cards use mirror images or the same art, and the rare examples of individual art were most likely drawn in MS Paint. Again, I could forgive all of this if the game play was worth a freaking damn, but I shelled out FORTY DOLLARS, an amount that could have preordered Kingsport Horror, for this shlock instead.

Maybe it's good this game defies anyone to play it more than once; the cards simply won't hold up under such stringent demands. After one play--and I'm a total freak about responsible card handling--the cards already showed edge wear. They're thin, too light, and cheap. I have made better cards than this on my effing Lexmark printer at home.

Second: The board.

Meh. A simple city map with some crudely drawn icons. It's easy to use and functional, but I don't know where their marketing department gets off calling it a "beautifully illustrated game board." Oh wait, it's because they want my FORTY DOLLARS.

I hate you, Twilight Creations, for wrecking Lovecraft's mythos, for burning my money, and for wasting one hour of my life. At least it was short, but if you want a quick diversion, go buy T & E, Puerto Rico, or Carcassonne. Sure, they lack some of the flavor, but you'll use your brain, the components are above the level of a fifth grade shop project, and you won't utter a mid-game prayer to be eaten by ants Yog Sothoth.

Appendix

Other Games you can buy for $40.00

Arkham Horror, Dunwich Horror, Kingsport Horror, or both Curse of the Dark Pharoh and King in Yellow

Power Grid

Carcassonne and several expansions

Twilight Imperium: Shattered Empire

Any Descent expansion

Axis and Allies

Pretty much any "Eurostyle" board game

Last Night on Earth or its expansion, Growing Hunger

Fury of Dracula and a couple of beers.

35 Decks of playing cards (each one will be a demigod compared to the flaccid things Twilight Creation calls "cards")

10 copies of Candyland or Chutes & Ladders

90 one-inch screws to put in a shoe box and then shake around to make some noise.