You read the rules. You were drowned in hype and raving reviews. You are annoyed by the pre-order hold-up and are suffering from withdrawal symptoms even though you never really played Agricola. Perhaps you even took a crash course in German..This game must be great, or at least very good - so many people simply cannot be wrong.

Is there anything bad in this game or is it all composed from yummy gaming goodness?

Well, I got here a raging crowd of people who have issues with Agricola and they keep banging at my door, insisting I let them raise those issues in orderly fashion. They also want to hear my opinion for some reason. Actually, it's not much of a crowd, really. But still, they are kinda loud. And not completely unreasonable.

Good thing I'm wearing my direct-2-BGG-transcriber with me.

OK folks, you can come in. You can start. Yes, you in the "Don't own Black Ops? Sucks to be YOU!" T-shirt.

1. This game is a multiplayer solitaire if I ever saw one.
Is this game really a multiplayer solitaire? Well, yes it is. And it isn't. It really depends on the point of view. On one hand your main task is to build up your farm, and you do it by repeatedly selecting one from a current set of available actions. On the other hand, what actions are currently available mostly depends on other players - so in that way interaction is heavy, although indirect. In my opinion - if in the game you can get pretty worked up over other players' actions, the game can't really be called MS.

OK, now you with a gallon-sized Starbucks cup.

2. This game is frustrating. I constantly want to do something and the actions keep getting taken away. I am not amused.
Yes, the game can be frustrating, especially to a certain type of player. If you are one of those players who like to devise a great strategy and absolutely hate to tweak it, change it or - God forbid - forfeit it completely, this is not a game for you. As one guy in some other thread said - in Agricola you don't need just plan A, you often need plans A, B, C and D or you'll end up pretty irritated. Personally, I don't get frustrated with Agricola that much, but I DO think that with more player sometimes it does feel you keep getting the shorter end of the stick.

Umm.. the guy with fake Vulcan ears, what do you hate about Agricola?

3. The theme sucks. Farming in 17th Century? Come on. I swear, one of these days someone will make a 5-hour game about german politics.
I disagree. The theme is great and one of the biggest reasons why this game is beloved by many. There's something hopelessly romantic in developing one's farmland as opposed to battling Orcish hordes, orchestrating space battles or building complicated railroad networks. Really, one must love the setup - there's Mom and Dad, see, they live in small wooden house and they want to raise livestock, grow grain and have children. They also have to eat or they'll be forced to beg for food. Simple and unbelievably approachable.
That said, I must say I have issues with the components - the wooden bits, to be exact. I like wood and everything, but they clash so much with the theme it's incredible - I am 100% sure there will be loads and loads of people who would probably enjoy Agricola immensely, but will get totally put off by the abstract chips and the cubes. Seriously - would you rather play with cute FIMO model animals or cubes? Would there really be so many FIMO modelers if everyone was satisfied with cubist sheep? In my personal opinion, if the game by default shipped with animeeples for animals, meeples for farmers and nicer components for grain and vegetables, the game would be even more popular - especially in family environments. Sure, a real gamer is above cutesy sheeps and cows.. but frankly, cubes suck.

Hey, speaking of real gamers, one just came in.

4. There's just too much in the luck of draw. I hate when the winner is obvious in the first fifteen minutes of the game, yet it draws out for another hour.
Ah, the cards. You either 'lovem or 'hatem. The inevitable fact is that, with such a big pool of cards any notion of a balanced game is thrown out the window - you just cannot balance that many combos. Personally, I love this - I'd take variety over perfect balance every day. And I don't really buy the argument that the winner can always be apparent very early - sure, if you have an experienced player with a killer hand playing against a new guy who still mixes up wood and clay it's no contest, but I really doubt that the issue of "obvious winner" comes up THAT often. However, I didn't really play that many games with Agricola veterans so perhaps if your opponents are skillful gamers and Agricola hits the table very often this issue can bother you. But even then - I think the effect of the cards CAN be mitigated. Also, I still have to see a game where one gets a truly killer hand.

OK now you, the weirdo with heavy mascara..

5. Leave little FIMO animals alone.. LEAVE THEM ALONE! I'm serious!
Moving on...

Hey, there's only one guy left. I can take him. No problem. Yo, you with the six-pack of Heineken. What's your problem?

6. Playing Agricola is like attending church. It's just not that fun - everyone is quiet, solemn. OK, someone grunts occasionally, but that's it.
Yep, when you add up and draw the line, Agricola is really a medium/heavy Eurogame, and those games by nature aren't really a party material nor a way to get you and your friends screaming and jumping from excitement. You can hardly expect that years from now you will remember that session where you managed to acquire 10 vegetables and 6 cows and have renovated your house to stone in the very last round. So if you really want to play a nerve-wrecking and exciting game, look elsewhere. Agricola is merely a nicely designed and richly packed gaming engine interpreted as a farm-building game. It's not meant to be for everyone. Some folks like drama, some like thrillers. Some even dig Steven Seagal flicks. If you don't enjoy Agricola, odds are Eurogames simply aren't your thing - it's hardly the fault of the game.

There it is. I've cleared out my home from these pesky Agricola raiser-issuers, and now I can finally talk why I really dig this game.

You see.. wait, why is this red light on my direct-2-BGG-transcriber blinking? Nevermind. Where was I... OK, let me start with the rules.

In the box, you get the following comp.. <TRANSMISSION ENDED>

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