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Every Man Needs A Shed

Life and games (but mostly games) from Tony Boydell: Independent UK games designer, self-confessed Agricola-holic and Carl Chudyk fan-boy. www.surprisedstaregames.co.uk

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An Outburst.

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Fuck-Pissing
Buggery
Bollocking
Hell!

Thank-you.
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Today 12:29 pm
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It's all fun until someone gets hurt.

Anthony Boydell
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We've had family over this weekend; they were returning (from a week away in Weymouth) and Chez Boydell is just a minor diversion off the M5. On Friday night, eschewing the delights of Ross-on-Wye, when the tiddlers were all stuffed with fish 'n chips and a-bed, we introduced Ma and Pa and eldest daughter to Mysterium. Joining in the spooky shenanigans was the Missus and young Benedict but, to be honest, Beebs was in no mood to look at his cards much and Mrs B was chinny-wagging with her cousin about all-and-sundry. Trying to communicate from beyond the grave is hard enough, the good Lord knows, without the 'channels' for my dream clues slurping their way through a couple of bottles of Fizz at the same time! It will not come as a surprise to learn that we were nowhere NEAR eliminating 'the final five' come the denouement (Sunday).


There are some game cards there...somewhere.


Up with the narcoleptic, oversleeping Lark, we eventually dragged MOST of the household down to the restored Canal and then up the lanes to a Fruit farm for some pickin': raspberries and apricots and apple juice, all in the green-and-pleasant setting of the Herefordshire/Gloucestershire border:


Ooh, fruity!


Later that evening, after an afternoon pre-occupied with consuming flame-grilled meat products in the sunshine, we sat down once more - at the eyeball-meltingly patterned kitchen table - to have a go at boardgames. This time, the ladies stayed out of The King of Frontier - some freshly-picked raspberries needed freezing - so me and Eleanor and Benedict and Nick went frontiering in the utterly-splended Carc meets Puerto micro mash-up. A full board and plenty o' bonus buildings put me in the mid-50s to Nick's impressive 43; the second game found me wanting with young Benedict adapting to the tighter atmosphere (now that everyone knew what they were doing!).


Right: Nick's impressive 'City of Trousers'


I almost broke out Cubist but the mums wanted 'in' so we opted for Braggart instead; as always, this stupendous filler proved quick-to-pick-up and hilarious - unfortunately TOO hilarious and the evening took a rather more serious turn. One day I may be able to articulate our family's anxieties in more detail but, for now, I'll just say that a few of us spent the rest of the night in a somewhat fraught state, from about 11.30PM until 03.30AM, hanging around Gloucester Royal Hospital. British A&E Departments on a Saturday night are the most miserable, cliché-conforming environments full of sleeping revellers, spitting drunk harridans and blokes with torn ears spraying on to white shirts; conversely, on a Sunday lunchtime, the same room is full of teenage sportspersons in full kit with broken or sprained limbs...the dichotomy of woe is stark but linked by the patience, care and professionalism of the staff who work in Hospitals! All-in-all, this was not the evening of 'fun & games' we'd had planned.
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Today 6:39 am
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The World Wide Shed!

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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A Slightly-Surreal Sunday Site-Surf


This is a REAL thing! Lordy!



"A man’s shed has, for generations, been a place for him to escape the stress and strains of life; a safe haven to gain much needed sanity; to be surrounded by his own useful things; a place to think; to make things; to mend things; to invent...and men the world over have done this largely on their own.

Men’s Sheds is a new way for men to pursue their interests, develop new ones, belong to a unique group, feel useful, fulfilled and have a sense of belonging...the Men’s Shed movement has arrived in Wales.
"

I don't think my Shed is big enough but...what could we do, people? What should we get up to in my Shed?
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Sun Aug 2, 2015 7:05 am
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Can I get an Hallelujah?

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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I know this is just ONE gaming website but I
think the sentiment applies to any-and-all of them!


(especially when it persists for > a couple o' days!)
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Sat Aug 1, 2015 7:35 am
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(K)noblesse oblige?

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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For the last few weeks Mr Stuart Burnham, the most excellent and genial host of a rival daily blog 'It Beats Watching TV' (https://www.boardgamegeek.com/blog/4563/it-beats-watching-tv), has been posting rather fine-and-interesting fayre and has - QUITE RIGHTLY - been getting more thumbs than a Maths teacher with a lithp.

However, in almost ALL cases he has NOT been getting as many thumbs as YOURS TRULY, regardless of the poppycock I've been spitting in to your Subscription feeds! So today, in a noble gesture of brotherhood and devotion to 'the cause', I'm just going to post this short message. That way he'll get ahead of me (if only for the one day).

Enjoy it, Stuart; you deserve it!

I'll just go over here (points) and wig out to some Primus if that's okay with y'all?

Yours, ever-so-sincerely folks,

'Uncle' Tony

P.S. This doesn't sound too smug or patronizing, does it? Only I'm aware that I cast a rather large Blog shadow.

P.P.S Oh dear. That 'large Blog shadow' bit DEFINITELY sounds smug. I'm so sorry.
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Fri Jul 31, 2015 1:09 pm
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Writer of Wrongs

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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Is it a berk?

Is it a pain? No, it's...

ShedMan!

Writer of Wrongs!

The Meeples' Champignon!

ShedMan!

I'll just leave these here. Feel free to use them when replying in the Forums!


Angry Mode:
Initiated by low ratings
of his games, low blood
sugar and people who use
the word 'there' when they
mean 'their' (and vice versa).



Sad Mode:
Initiated by low ratings
of his games, no more
biscuits left in the tin
and that bit at the end of
The Railway Children*



I am weeping as I type this caption. Every. Bloody. Time.



Surprised (in a good way) Mode:
Initiated by not-low ratings
of his games, Keyflower expansion
announcements and Lasagne for
supper.



Sleep Mode:
Initiated byzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
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Thu Jul 30, 2015 6:21 am
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Elles vivent!

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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One of the most pleasant surprises of last year was a company approaching me - completely out-of-the-blue - to ask about publishing Bad Grandmas. My anarchic little 2-player / 18 card microgame made it on to Brett J. Gilbert's splendid Good Little Games site (www.goodlittlegames.co.uk) a while back - and is still there in it's raw form for PnP - and I'd pretty much abandoned these raddled old hags to their fate!

Enter Robin Red Games and the awesome artwork of Mr Pascal Boucher; they could see something appealing in the family-friendly rules combined with the offensive presentation of vicious old crones beating the living, lilac-scented shit out of each other! It's a sort of spiritual successor to Bloody Legacy, I suppose.

It's taken a while but, now, the Gang de Mémés is cackling over the horizon with their hairbuns, knitting needles and foetid breath! Oh, and I just LOVE the French puns in their names!


Une montage de FLIP 2015..."don't let these old skins have yours!"



For more info why not visit (and Like) https://www.facebook.com/GangDeMemesBadGrandmas
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Wed Jul 29, 2015 6:38 am
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It is the manner in which I relate them via the medium of verbal communication!

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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Q. What's the difference between Origins and most Kickstarter campaigns?
A. One's an expensive Con and the other is an annual gaming event!

*baddomp-tish*

1. Knock knock
2. Who's there?
1. Carl Chudyk
2. Carl Chudyk who?
1. Well, it depends if I'm standing up, sitting, lying down or stood behind someone else!

*baddomp-tish*

Q. Why did the Fields of Arle fan cross the road?
A. To get the the Uwe side

*baddomp-tish*

1. My Doge has got no nose?
2. How does he smell?
1. (Canal) Grande!

*baddomp-tish*

Q. How many Gamers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ideally 1-5 in around 60 minutes.

*baddomp-tish*

A gamer walks into a Pub. Behind the Bar is a white mist of minute water droplets in the air as a result of heating water. The gamer says: "I know a Boardgame by Martin Wallace with the same name as you". The mist replies: "What? Dennis?!"

*baddomp-tish*

Q. What do you get if you cross Blow Football with Odd Jobs?
A. Odd Football
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Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:54 am
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Gencon Con

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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Essen is not ‘where it’s at’ anymore, apparently; no longer 'Numero Uno' in the gamer charts, it’s been superseded by a reinvigorated (CLEAR! *ker-thump-sizzle*) Gencon.

Gencon Indy now wets more pants than its teutonic pork-and-beerfest cousin; I can hardly move in my Facebook and Twitter feeds for the smug "See you there!" and "Road trip!" posts. Still, you know that I keep my eyes to the ground and my ears on the horizon for those all-important news-nuggets and rumour-pimples:

[1] With trouser-tents already twitching in anticipation, Friedemann Friese has unveiled the first expansion for 504! In keeping with the 504 philosophy, the expansion can be played as if it were the original base game and the base game an expansion; it can also simultaneously function as a re-worked sequel of itself (a la Witches Brew/Broom Service), as a prequel and the 20th Anniversary edition with deluxe components. He’s also hinted that the rulebook will be different on each of the days of Spiel 2015. A pre-show appointment sheet will also be available online for game designers to book a five minute slot in order to slap the clever-clever git.

[2] Shite Games, making their first appearance at a US convention, are hoping to preview their latest dexterity frippery Airport Security. Advertised as ‘Buckaroo! meets a prostate exam’, players take it in turns to hide items - such as bottles of clear liquid, pen-knives and Glock pistols - about their ‘person’ before attempting to get through the Security gate at a busy mid-Western US airport. The cover shows a charmingly-rendered Dixit-style graphic of a hapless, overweight tourist undergoing a physical up to the elbow from a cheerful Customs Official. It’s unclear whether their CEO will make it into the country with the production-ready prototype – fingers crossed, eh?

[3] THE DREAM TEAM ARE TOGETHER AT LAST!!! – Yes, it finally happened: Uwe Rosenberg and Stefan Feld teamed up to produce what many are regarding as ‘the ultimate Euro’...

...or so they thought! While out on a Stag Party in Koln, the dynamic Deutsche duo were photographed mulling over what seemed-to-be a complex prototype combining Rosenberg’s preoccupation with agriculture (ie. vegetables) and Feld’s with thousands of colourful components! Nicknamed All Over The Gates of Loyang, it turns out that Uwe had had one too many wheat beers and was sick in the doorway of a Church! “I thought they were playing an impromptu Aquasphere” said a fictitious passer-by, yesterday.

[4] Ubiquitous though the ‘Legacy’ concept might be, crowd-funding obsessives Two-Fingered Salute will be promoting their latest KS project Life: Legacy. Following on from its Risk and Pandemic forebears, ‘Life: Legacy’ offers pledgers the chance to have decisions they make permanently affect the course of their time on Earth: from the loss of a trivial sum of money (say $1) right up to mortgaging their Estate to buy in at the $50,000 level! Stretch goals are unconfirmed but could include the Family Expansion (a modular mechanism to incorporate extra players after the game has started) and ‘Tragically-early Death’ (for those who like a shorter game).
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Mon Jul 27, 2015 3:09 pm
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Easy like Thumbday morning...

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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Well, wow!

Phew!

Cripes! And lawks a-mercy!

It's been quite a week for interaction with 'the Shed'; I've had to take a mop to the floor to clear up the muddy footprints! Of course a few exciteables couldn't help but leave little graffitos: a 'Boz woz ere' here and a playful marker pen cock-and-balls there...however I feel nothing but a tranquil gratitude towards you all.

Thanks for stopping by and you're always welcome.

Suggested donation etc*

*you can tell I've been visiting historic sites all weekend, can't you?
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Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:29 am
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