Anthony BoydellUnited Kingdom
SCENE I. A cavern. In the middle, a gaming table.
Thunder. Enter the three Players – Becky, John and Tony – Tony arrives somewhat later than the other Players, finding them in the middle of a swift (!) Jambo.
First Player (Becky): Thrice the pork-based snack hath scratched.
Second Player (John): Thrice and once the Inn-dog whined.
Third Player (Tony): Ross-on-Wye cries “Tis time, 'tis time!”
First Player: Round about the table go;
In the Qwirkle pieces throw.
Star, that in the darkful night
Twinkles with the circle bright
Square and diamond, four-leafed clover
Another star (four points) left over.
ALL: Double, double toil and trouble;
Colours, six, mayhap be-fuddle.
Second Player: Play some tiles and score your points
Extend a line or marry joints
Ensure their colours match each-other
Or shape’s the same as each his brother
Doubled glyphs are not permitted
Scrabble-wise your score’s remitted
Thou playest till the bag’s bereft
And one has ne’er a game piece left.
ALL: Double, double Saint and Sinner;
The one with biggest score’s the winner!
(Tony 125, John 123, Becky – ahem, moving along)
Clips of paper, ways of rail
John has never heard this tale
Stations, squared, with odd effects
Combos sure to get thee vexed
Strings of metal, pins for track
Did I say ‘Strings’? I take that back!
Evolving board, a visual treat
Attracts the diners there to eat
“Tis like the Clue! Or Monopol?”
They query, in a manner droll
Alas! The curse of Britain’s people
Most know shit ‘bout chit or meeple.
At end, the vict’rys closely won
When final station’s scoring done.
(Tony pips Becky by 8 points, all scored off the final station examined)
Double, double clamour and din;
Let's play something John might win
Only time remains for filler
Shall we fill her with a killer?
Enter SAN JUAN to the other three Players
SAN JUAN: O well done! I commend your choosing;
Mayhap wilt end your streak of losing?
Player one and player two
Have played me more than times ‘a few’
Select thine roles, produce and trade
Build and prospect, council’s made
Soon John thinks he’s gained the gilt
But Becky shows a Palace built!
And second in tonight’s repast
Someone’s won upon the last!
Music and a song: 'No spirits just a pineapple juice and lemonade,' & c. SAN JUAN retires
Second Player: By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.
Pick up your box!
All players exeunt, not chased by a pig