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Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Unspecified
Unspecified
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Mother,
Many thanks for the massive hamper smuggled in by the Red Cross to us unfortunates here at the PoW camp in Stralsund. It was very well wrapped – I’d not seen something so tangled in string since Jobbers had that auto-erotic asphyxiation episode in the Post Room.
The tobacco was particularly welcome: Boffo hasn’t been able to give Smudge any rough shag since our capture and she’s been having to blag the occasional toot from the guards; she’s always nipping off to puff on a Bavarian cheroot!
Morale is very low since we were all caught in No Mans Land trying to pull off a two-pronged manoeuvre: Captain Billikins had just managed to get himself into a penetrative position when Boffo and Jobbers pulled out prematurely, leaving me exposed. Smudge sent a flare up, but that only attracted the attention of the Bosch! So, here we are – banged up in the slammer for the duration.
There’s no shortage of games to play, however: the Senior Officers have managed to collect a lot of Mr Knizia’s designs, though they have to be kept hidden (under a squeaky floorboard) because the UK resident Herr K is regarded as somewhat of a traitor by our captors. Last evening, I returned from a reccy of the fences to find Boffo, Smudge, Cap’n Billikins and Jobbers playing Great Wall of China – in fact, I’d arrived in time to join the proceedings but prior experience found it rather sterile and I preferred 15 minutes of mild self-harm instead.
When the game had come a quiet and unremarkable conclusion, I can’t even recall who won, Boffo launched into a repetitative on the need turn our swords to plowshares; surprisingly, the rest of us demurred and suggested Puerto Rico instead*. It’s been at least seven years since I last gave this ‘classic’ a go – and then it was with two seasoned players using their German language copy – so, understandably, my first impressions were tainted**. Play was smooth and I very much enjoyed the experience although I had that curious feeling that it felt ‘exactly like every other Euro game of the last 10 years’ which is, obviously, correct – so many designs of the last decade have been HEAVILY influenced by this behemoth! The Captain is the most seasoned of the players and stole the game under the nose of everyone else (and Boffo’s constant ‘Directors Commentary’) with 56. Coming in second were both myself and Smudge with 52 which, according to the exclamations of the others, seemed to be a pretty good score.
We paused to work a little more on one of the escape plans: Jobbers filled his pockets and then briskly marched around the compound, fiddled with his trouser arrangement and then emptied his load down each leg. Smudge said it was such a shame he couldn’t help with tunnel.
Infinite City hit the box-wood table next: play a tile, put a marker on it and then do what it says. Score for contiguous regions of your markers at game end and, presto! You have a game. This is light and fun fayre, though spoiled somewhat by one small, but VERY IMPORTANT thing – at least to me, who was directly affected by it: there is tile called POWER STATION that is protected from nasty effects and protects those tiles adjacent to it from nasty effects too. Then there is a tile called CAPITOL that is worth lots of points to the ‘placer’, does nasty things to tiles around it AND is allowed to ignore the protective ability of the POWER STATION!
Run that by me again? A single immunity card that makes a big thing of being immune…and another card that overrides that immunity? Hmmmm…. I still won the game, but at what cost? Certainly, the others will have my rants ringing in their ears for a few days yet.
With the light failing, we rounded the evening off with perennial favourite Braggart and returned to our bunks – after all, one doesn’t want to be caught in a compromising position by the Oberleutnants!
Much love to Grand-mama and the remains of Grand-papa,
Your loving son.
Antonius.
*All: (addressing Dellboy) You don’t want to play Agricola? Who ARE you and what have you done with Antoine?
**It’s shit. Everything about it is shit. The box is shit. The mechanics are shit. The pieces are shit. The theme is…er, you get the idea.
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