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Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Unspecified
Unspecified
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All Ugs gather in cave of big Ug for games: Big Ug, Ug-with-Beard, Me Ug, Young Ug and Ug-from-far-away.
Me Ug bring Power Grid: The First Sparks and all Ugs grunt happy to try. Rulebook tricky, as Ugs not yet invent reading, so we follow pictures instead. First Sparks has not-the-same Foods (big hairy food, small hairy food, wet slippery food, berries and tasty grass) and tools for getting them (pointed sticks, push-stick-through-sky etc). Tribes use food to get more tribe and/or get better tools. First tribe to go from 1 to 'lots' declared a God.
In first game, Ug-from-far-away seem like Tasty Grass a lot and learns to make special noises with mouth to his friends - however, that's ALL he seems to do - ignoring wet food, food with hair, tools (which he strapped for grass to buy) etc. As this goes on, his special noises sound more loud and unhappy. Mrs Ug say Ug-from-far-away has invented whining - me Ug thought whining what Ug do with berries but apparently that a homophone (me Ug thought THAT Young Ug's mobile!). Ug invent wordplay (Mrs Ug say no bloody use wordplay for kill mammoth)
Tribe continue hunting - leave Ug-from-far-away make more loud talk in his fields. Ug-with-beard make two push-stick-thru-air and take all small, hairy food for self. Ug-with-beard travel quickly and become a God (me Ug second). Suggest cave painting in honour of Ug-with-beard but result rather infantile and lacking an expressive metaphor, a strong narrative and (most importantly) a varied colour palette.
All Ugs want try again - partly to gauge strategy better and partly get Ug-from-far-away make more angry mouth noises. All Ugs invent Schadenfreude!
Second try more crowded - Ugs stepping on other Ugs, over-fishing. Big Ug have penchant for big, hairy food and double pointed stick. Big Ug become a God (with help of hot, orange ghost). Suggest statue of Big Ug in honour of victory but no Ug understand what statue is, so more picture in cave (need more cave because Big Ug and mammoth need plenty wall).
Me Ug enjoy very much but other Ugs neither happy or unhappy noises make. Me Ug find lewd puns difficult as Neanderthal vocabulary limited, though I try slip one in now and again...(Ug wait)...("look! Everyone in berries but no Ug 'in bear' snigger) etc.
Me Ug not even bother try with 'have you invented spear or are Ug just pleased to see me' mouth-turn-downwards-face.
Ug look forward to evolving - last thing me and Mrs Ug want is go extinct or, Ug afraid, play Quarriors! Me Ug must go – Homo Sapiens just arrive with new tools and life insurance policies.
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