THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE GUILTY
June 19, 1881
My Dearest Friends,
In my tireless attempts to rid the town of Roadkill of the villainous scum that is corrupting our citizens, I take pride in announcing the capture of the Malevolent Seven-a dastardly conspiracy of criminals that has secretly victimized our fair territory for far too many years. To celebrate this landmark moment in law enforcement, I have erected eight gallows on Main Street: seven for the execution of this thieving, murderous band, and one for good luck. The execution will take place at midnight on the second of July, to "kick off" festivities for the Fourth of July weekend. As a crowd is expected, I've reserved prime seating for you, my most honored guests and dear friends. You shall be served a sumptuous meal in my home prior to our thrilling main event, which will begin with the hanging of the mysterious masked horseman who masterminded the Seven's unsavory crimes. So, leave your affairs in order, and come join me in this triumphant celebration. The honor of your presence is required.
Butch Chastity, P'elvis Swagarin, Helena Handcart, Chief Breaking Wind, Elvira-Lynn Fekshin, Wyatt Hertz, Dee Adela Muerte, and Elias Truist-Heath.