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Intelligence Report on Subject #M33P135: The Meeples.
Dave Lartigue
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It has been requested that the subjects of this report, Meeples (homo woodmanus) be investigated as part of a dual-purpose mission:
1) Gather as much intelligence about this little-known species as possible
2) Determine if the species represents a clear and present threat to our safety and stability

Agents have been sent into the field to investigate the subjects. This list represents a summary of their findings.
Your Tags: Add tags
Popular Tags: humor [+] meeple [+] Golden-Geeklist [+] conspiracy_theory [+] photos [+] meeples [+] [View All]
Posted Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:21 pm
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1. Board Game: Carcassonne [Average Rating:7.48 Overall Rank:65]
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Dave Lartigue
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PHYSIOLOGY: There are several races of Meeples. In fact, variations in color go well beyond the normal range of most species.
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Stefano Sorbara
Italy
Venaria Reale
(TO)
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Shouldn't we call'em ethnic groups?
Mark Hudson
United States
Los Angeles
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Closest thing I've seen to a white meeple is in TransAmerica, which has a white starting marker, and a white locomotive.
Cyn Norton
United States
Palo Alto
California
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There are white meeples in Emerald :meeple:
Aaron Doty
Australia

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and don't forget the provost and bailiff - they're white :p
Paul Turfrey
England

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envision wrote:
and don't forget the provost and bailiff - they're white :p


And the workers are all coloured? Sheesh!
2. Board Game: Cartagena [Average Rating:6.77 Overall Rank:364]
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Dave Lartigue
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However, it appears that in general, the different races seem to get along well with each other.
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Jacek Nowak
Poland
Warsaw
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Well, according to my observations it appears that the races fight each other on every occasion and using various rules to figure out the best race. They are quite creative in finding ways to determine the best race around.
Dick Hunt
United States
Ovid
Michigan
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Actually, I find meeples to be highly competitive little buggers. They're always racing around the edges of my various gameboards, fighting to be the lead meeple.

They'll gleefully crawl over each other in order to be the first ones in the boat in Cartagena; if that means other meeples can't fit into the boat, well, that's their tough noogies!

In Trias, I've seen meeples shove entire islands out from under each other during their fight for survival. It's not a pretty sight. Don't let the pretty colors and cute shapes fool you; these things are bloodthirsty little bastards.
Phil Taylor
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Maplewood
New Jersey
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When my son and I play Cartagena, his reward for getting all his pirates in the boat is to violently kick all the other pirates out: "But Dad, I have more pirates in there than you, so they're stronger!"
3. Board Game: Goa [Average Rating:7.81 Overall Rank:21]
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Dave Lartigue
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Interestingly, this color variation is not limited to skin, as this display of Meeple skulls reveals.
18
Gisli Sigtryggsson
Canada
Amherst
Nova Scotia
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LOL! Brilliant.
John Reiners
United States
New York
New York
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How come some of the skulls are perfect squares?
Dick Hunt
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Ovid
Michigan
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Because those meeples were old-fashioned and had few vices--they didn't smoke, drink, gamble, or do drugs. They also preferred Lawrence Welk music over rock n' roll.
John Reiners
United States
New York
New York
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Ah, the squares. :)
Ryan Heac0ck
United States

Indiana
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they could never think outside the box...
Justin Hoffman
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everlong205 wrote:
How come some of the skulls are perfect squares?


As esteemed psychologist Lucy Van Pelt would tell you, those are blockheads. This demonstrates that there's an anthropological [meepthropological?] source for that term...
4. Board Game: Clans [Average Rating:6.60 Overall Rank:532]
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Dave Lartigue
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HABITAT: Meeples do not seem confined to any particular climate or region. Their dwellings range from the very primitive...
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5. Board Game: Medina [Average Rating:7.12 Overall Rank:246]
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Dave Lartigue
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...to more stable structures...
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6. Board Game: Carcassonne: The City [Average Rating:7.37 Overall Rank:121]
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Dave Lartigue
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...to actual cities.
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7. Board Game: Carcassonne: Hunters and Gatherers [Average Rating:7.23 Overall Rank:143]
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Dave Lartigue
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Though some seem content to merely sleep outside.
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8. Board Game: Carcassonne - Traders & Builders [Average Rating:7.58 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.58 Unranked]
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Dave Lartigue
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GOVERNMENT AND SOCIAL ORGANIZATION: After careful research involving Meeples interacting with their fellow Meeples, we concluded that status among their kind is denoted by headgear. The subject on the right is clearly of a different status than the subject on the left, though that status is unclear. He is possibly a chef.
12
♪ Isaac Bickerstaff ♫
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Taylors
South Carolina
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Specifically, he's a sous-chef, and this is his natural enemy:

bryn musson
United Kingdom
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i think this one is a vampire. anyone else noticed how much his hair looks like gary oldman's in the awful 1993 film of dracula? ("dear diary, i must kill heather, i mean, dracula. damn.") don't trust the "builder", he's really nosveratu.
Chester Ogborn
United States
Albuquerque
New Mexico
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I thought it was Squidward.
All Glory To The Hypnotoad!
United States
Portland
Oregon
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It's Devil Bunny, & he NEEDS a ham!
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/185
9. Board Game: San Marco [Average Rating:7.27 Overall Rank:155]
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Dave Lartigue
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This is possibly a religious figure (see the section on CULTURE AND BELIEFS). Note the cubes he seems to be overseeing; these enigmatic devices will be covered in more detail as well.
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10. Board Game: Diamant [Average Rating:6.79 Overall Rank:344]
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Dave Lartigue
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Based on other observations, these appear to be some sort of worker class Meeples, willing to do work no other Meeples will do.
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Kevin Nesbitt
Canada
Enniskillen
Ontario
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Is it just me, or is the white guy wearing a baker's hat?
11. Board Game: Carcassonne - The Count of Carcassonne [Average Rating:6.06 Unranked] [Average Rating:6.06 Unranked]
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Dave Lartigue
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This Meeple, however, appears to be their supreme ruler. He is code-named, "The Count".
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mark coomey
New Zealand
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I ***love** to count...


von...bwah hah hah

two..vwah hah hah

three...three meeples..wah ha hah...
Gord Mackenzie
Canada
Windsor
Ontario
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aka "Grimace"
12. Board Game: Hansa [Average Rating:7.05 Overall Rank:213]
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Dave Lartigue
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ECONOMICS: Meeples seem to thrive on trade. Even when no other vehicles are evident they display ship-building capabilities. They seem to produce and trade among themselves two type of goods. Flat disks, shown here...
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13. Board Game: Mare Nostrum [Average Rating:6.85 Overall Rank:381]
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Dave Lartigue
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...and tall barrels, shown here. The contents of these containers are unknown.
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14. Board Game: Mammoth Hunters [Average Rating:6.22 Overall Rank:1305]
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Dave Lartigue
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Raising livestock is also not unheard of among the Meeples.
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15. Board Game: Heimlich & Co. [Average Rating:6.37 Overall Rank:886]
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Dave Lartigue
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In the larger communities, banks exist. Note the representive headgear of the banking class.
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John Reiners
United States
New York
New York
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hey, those look a lot like the count. Maybe, rather than having a single ruler they actually have a council of some sort made up of a single member of each ethnicity of meeple.
Casey Baker
United States

Oregon
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Apparently, and rumor abounds, these same individuals have long been suspected of trading in state secrets.
16. Board Game: Eureka [Average Rating:5.59 Overall Rank:4471]
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Dave Lartigue
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These worker Meeples (identified by their headgear) are involved in a mining operation. The train seen to the left debunked the theory that the Meeples had not yet discovered the wheel (hence their proclivity for sea travel).
4
John Reiners
United States
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New York
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I'm thinking this is an example of the meeple drug trade.
17. Board Game: Metro [Average Rating:6.43 Overall Rank:733]
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Dave Lartigue
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In fact, at times the Meeples seem inordinately obsessed with transportation, especially trains (in addition to boats.)
4
18. Board Game: Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals [Average Rating:7.60 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.60 Unranked]
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Dave Lartigue
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CULTURE AND BELIEFS: When not trading or creating train routes, the favored pastime of Meeples seems to be athletics. They revel in displays of gynmastics.
8
John Reiners
United States
New York
New York
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Ahem, see #22. I'm not sure if this is gymnastics.
19. Board Game: Stack 'Em Up [Average Rating:6.50 Unranked]
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Dave Lartigue
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Sometimes these performances can get quite elaborate.
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20. Board Game: StreetSoccer [Average Rating:6.76 Overall Rank:509]
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Dave Lartigue
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Sports are also a popular entertainment among their kind.
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21. Board Game: O Zoo le Mio [Average Rating:6.75 Overall Rank:440]
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Dave Lartigue
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As well as activites of learning, such as visiting a zoo.
4
Spin Hansen
United States
Duluth
Georgia
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Gaah! The Flying Spaghetti Monster is after those meeples!

Oh, wait. It's just an octopus. Never mind.
22. Board Game: Lovers Wild [Average Rating:8.00 Unranked]
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Dave Lartigue
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And, of course, romance.
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Justin Green
United States
Des Moines
Iowa
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Are you sure this isn't some complicated medical procedure?
Paul Orr
United States
Martin
Tennessee
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Are you volunteering?
Neil Piggot
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Bristol
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Ideal person, with a nickname like 'Spankey'!

Sounds kinky....
Scotty Dickey
United States
Brandon
Mississippi
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Ahh yes. And who doesn't enjoy a 'final tumbling operation' from time to time?
Jim B


New Jersey
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...some kind of Bar? .. or just LOTS and LOTS of alcohol ? .. :o)
23. Board Game: Carcassonne: The Castle [Average Rating:7.22 Overall Rank:157]
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Dave Lartigue
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Although their religious beliefs are still unknown, it does seem like they have places of worship.
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Dick Hunt
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Sometimes, the meeples practice bizarre and primitive religions. If you visit the Wallenstein site here at BGG, you can see cubes being fed to some sort of strange-looking volcano. Apparently, the meeples attach some significance to the relationships between which cubes they feed to the volcano, and which ones come out of the bottom of it.
Mike Siggins
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Cambridge
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I think this picture may also relate to romance, above.
24. Board Game: The Settlers of Catan [Average Rating:7.61 Overall Rank:45]
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Dave Lartigue
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FURTHER EXPLORATION REQUIRED: What are these enormous black monoliths, often seen in proximity to Meeple settlements? Landmarks? Defenses of some sort? Mysterious devices designed to trigger evolutionary development? Their purpose is unknown at this time.
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Martin Deslauriers
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Montreal
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**Music of 2001, a space odyssey** Apes start hitting rocks with bones... GRUNT GRUNT... player 1 rolls a seven... the monolyth disapears, the music stops the apes go back to sleep.;)
Mike Cooper
United States
Euless
Texas
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**Music of 2001, a space odyssey** Apes start hitting rocks with bones... GRUNT GRUNT... player 1 rolls a seven... the monolyth disapears, the music stops the apes go back to sleep.

I hereby nominate this for BGG post of the year.

/golf clap
Dick Hunt
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Ovid
Michigan
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Evidence seems to suggest that, whatever the black monolith is, it's undesirable:

First, economically advantageous production of any kind seems to grind to a halt in any region where the monolith appears.

Second, once the monolith appears in a region, the locals do nothing but complain about it until some cosmic event causes it to be moved.

And finally, when the monolith does finally move, the meeples who lived in its previous region always seem to make sure that it lands in a new region where they don't have any economic interest of any kind. They don't seem to care if it bothers their neighbors--just so long as it doesn't get built in their own back yard again.

Of course, further study is needed, but these points can be easily observed on any of the local islands in your area.
Martin Deslauriers
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Well thank you Mike I appreciate you generosity, I shall try send you more comments of that sort :yuk:
Jeff Digman
United States
Unspecified
Illinois
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The monolith in realtiy is a Meeple place of worship and celebration. When it appears in the lands the meeples are assigned to work in, they are drawn, by a heretofore unknown mystic energy, to cease labor and stare slackjawed at the monolith, awaiting the inevitable departure of the struncture to another land.

Or perhaps they are awed by the phallic symbolism. :devil:
25. Board Game: El Grande [Average Rating:7.96 Overall Rank:9]
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Dave Lartigue
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And what is the relationship between the Meeples and these colored cubes, again often seen in Meeple communities? (And shown here near a Monolith.) Are they, as one agent theorizes, Meeple eggs?
6
Tim K.
United States
Seattle
Washington
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Those are meeple Starbucks locations :D
Dick Hunt
United States
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Michigan
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Also, note that the meeples are only allowed to place their new cubes in regions adjacent to that of the monolith. There must be some relationship between the monolith and the cubes. It's a delicate one, however, as the meeples never place the cubes in the same region as the monolith--only the one next door.

It's almost like the monolith needs the cubes for some purpose, but doesn't like having them too close...
RMR Woodward
United Kingdom
Milton Keynes
Bucks
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We call them the Gay Cubelleros.
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40 comments [Hide]
Chuck Uherske
United States
Rockville
Maryland
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Let me be the first to praise this bizarre, wonderful list.
Stratocaster, the sound of Joy!
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Funniest list ever! Congrats!
Ender Wiggins


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Great great list! Some of these pictures also made into this GeekList:
The Geek's Funniest Pictures: A Collection of BGG Photo Humor
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeklist.php3?action=comment&li...
Tom Thingamagummy
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Additional evidence of their ant-like behavior:

ackmondual
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There's something to be said for a single geeklist that gets more thumbs than you'll ever get on BGG, but I can't remember that was. Oh well, congrats and nice job!! :cool: :meeple: :kiss:
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