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Quotations from Rulebooks
Richard Smeltzer
United Kingdom
Leeds
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A good rulebook lays out the rules of the game in a readable and browsable way. A great rulebook makes it fun.

Everyone feel free to add your own favourite bits.
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51. Board Game: Mahjong [Average Rating:7.05 Overall Rank:435]
Stephen McNeil
Canada
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"The word with the papentnesist is the romanized."

"The cards are then souffled and arranged in a line."

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52. Board Game: Man O' War [Average Rating:7.16 Overall Rank:1155]
 
Play Games - Interact - Have Fun!
United States
California
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Moving Drillakillas

"Each Drillakilla rolls three dice at the start of it's Battle Phase, and can move up to this distance. On a roll of 3 1's the Drillakilla disappears below the surface and pulls the ship down with it - the Drillakilla becomes a submarine. Unfortunately it was not designed for this role and rapidly plummets to the icy depths of the ocean."


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53. Board Game: Matschig [Average Rating:5.61 Overall Rank:8627]
ethidium bromide
Germany
Potsdam
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The theme of the game is to throw at each other some mud made of sand and water.
Hence, you will find in the rules:
"The dirtiest Player starts"
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54. Board Game: Middle-Earth Quest [Average Rating:7.42 Overall Rank:265]
mak
United Kingdom
London
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"When a hero is defeated, he succumbs to his injuries and awakens in the nearest Haven (his broken body was found and transported back to the Haven by a loyal friend)"
Have no fear... the next time some gangster shoots you in the face, one of your pals will carry your broken face to the nearest hospital and you'll be up and running in no time!!!
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55. Board Game: Munchkin [Average Rating:6.03 Overall Rank:2271] [Average Rating:6.03 Unranked]
Martin Godolakis
Sweden
Göteborg
V.Götaland
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I support Wikileaks. I am anonymous.... I am an atheist...... I obey copyleft....... The Pirate Bay user.
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Ah, these rules have many golden quotes:
eg:
Quote:
Everyone starts as a Level 1 human with no class. (Heh, heh.)


And they sure know how to complicate things:
Quote:
This rulesheet gives the general rules. Cards may add
special rules, so in most cases when the rulesheet disagrees
with a card, follow the card. However, ignore any card effect
that might seem to contradict one of the rules listed
below unless the card explicitly says it supersedes that rule!

...
Quote:
Any other disputes should be settled by loud arguments,
with the owner of the game having the last word.


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56. Board Game: Ninjato [Average Rating:7.34 Overall Rank:388]
Helmut Hohberger
Germany
Munich
Bavaria
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Quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur
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I've always been partial to this rule:

Quote:
THE PLAYER WITH THE MOST HONOR WINS! All other players must bow
respectfully to the victor—and put away the game. When you bow, do it
with humility! You are in the presence of a superior!


Single-handedly made me want that game.
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57. Board Game: Nuclear Escalation [Average Rating:6.58 Overall Rank:1581]
Richard Smeltzer
United Kingdom
Leeds
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"The game is normally played without partners. Multiplce alliances can be formed, however, in order to defend against powerful aggressors, to annihilate weaker countries, or even to eliminate those players who are considered dull-witted bores by the majority."
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58. Board Game: Pecking Order [Average Rating:6.43 Overall Rank:1847]
Ken
Canada
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"The attacker does not reveal his bird at any time during the challenge".

Say what??!?!?!
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59. Board Game: Prussia's Glory [Average Rating:6.58 Overall Rank:3657]
Robert Wiersma
United States
Iowa
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Every effort has been made to make the LOS (Line of Sight) rules
precise and to cover every situation. If a dispute arises, it is the
Designer’s adamant intent that players do not agonize or bicker
over LOS. In such a case, defer to rule 8.2a or 8.2b below:
8.2a (recommended): Adopt a suitably sporting 18th century battle
captain’s attitude. Allow the other player their shot. With a spirited
hand flourish, say, “But of course, mon frère, fire away! I’m sure
my rascals deserve a rousting anyway!” Vary pithy phrase as desired.
8.2b: For those who cannot accord such grace, each player rolls a
die, high roll calls it.
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60. Board Game: Red Star Rising: The War in Russia, 1941-1944 [Average Rating:7.58 Overall Rank:2147]
Jonathan Harrison
United States
Fisher
Illinois
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So long ...
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... and thanks for all the fish.
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61. Board Game: Risk 2210 A.D. [Average Rating:6.74 Overall Rank:746]
Yours Truly,
United States
Raleigh
North Carolina
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There must have been a moment at the beginning, where we could have said no. Somehow we missed it. Well, we'll know better next time.
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Table talk, including alliances, threats, coercion, whining, pleading, backstabbing, and other verbal tirades are not only allowed, but encouraged.
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62. Board Game: Risk Legacy [Average Rating:7.69 Overall Rank:119]
Dr. UDO
United States
Chandler
Arizona
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[This space intentionally left blank]
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[ INSERT FUN HERE ]
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63. Board Game: Shadows over Camelot [Average Rating:7.16 Overall Rank:254]
The root of all evil... but you can call me cookie.
United States
Gainesville
Florida
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I rather liked no no no, loved that the first sentence in this rulebook reads:

Quote:
An unladen swallow flies across the grey skies of Cornwall.
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64. Board Game: Sid Meier's Civilization: The Board Game [Average Rating:7.58 Overall Rank:89]
ethidium bromide
Germany
Potsdam
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Quote:

Trades are fairly open, and may include an exchange of any or all
of the following:
• Non-binding Promises
...

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65. Board Game: Snow Tails [Average Rating:6.98 Overall Rank:455]
Richard Smeltzer
United Kingdom
Leeds
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"Entering a corner over the safety speed

There are old sled racers and bold sled racers but no old, bold sled racers. Over 217 playtesters were severely injured in establishing the safe speed limits for corners."
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66. Board Game: Space Alert [Average Rating:7.60 Overall Rank:78]
Mark Englehart
United States
San Diego
California
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Sadly because this list is alphabetized, it isn't until entry 23 (or later) that you get a Vlaada Chvatil game. His rulebooks are always a hoot to read.

Everyone's favorite from Space Alert:

But there is one thing: [the shipboard computer] needs a bit of, um, maintenance. Oh, nothing complicated! You just need to, you know, push a button from time to time. Otherwise it thinks you don't need it and it turns on the screensaver, which because of the way the ship is wired, um, turns off the lights for a while.

Oh, yes, we've considered disabling the screensaver, but we can't do that because it contains an advertisement for our sponsor...
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67. Board Game: Space Beans [Average Rating:6.11 Overall Rank:2183]
Ken Grazier
United States
South Euclid
Ohio
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Near northeast Ohio? Come to one of my game nights! www.geek-craft.com
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"Choose the most alien player to be the dealer"
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68. Board Game: Space Hulk [Average Rating:7.47 Overall Rank:266]
Martin Larouche
Canada
Longueuil
Quebec
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Melting souls with cuteness since 2007
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Lovin' N-16
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I'm going from memory from this game. It was a thematic quote inserted in the rulebook (or one of it's expansion):


"We have killed 40 of them.
They have killed 39 of us.
... we won."
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69. Board Game: The Speicherstadt [Average Rating:7.11 Overall Rank:395]
Roger Howell
United States
Lenexa
Kansas
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"The player who most recently visited Speicherstadt is the starting player."

We can never play this game because no one has ever been there!
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70. Board Game: SPQR (Deluxe Edition) [Average Rating:7.96 Overall Rank:793]
David Morneau
United States
Maspeth
New York
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The rulebook includes the follow note at the end of the section about determining superiority in combat:

Quote:
Play Note: Many different types of permutations and combinations are possible, in terms of unit types and multiple attack angles. The two precepts, above, should cover virtually all of these possibilities. If they don’t, try to attain a result that best fits in with the general principles. If that doesn’t work, try cutting open a chicken and checking its entrails . . . .
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71. Board Game: Star Wars Customizable Card Game [Average Rating:6.57 Overall Rank:1208]
Liz Burton
United States
Bethesda
Maryland
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
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The advanced glossary (that came out with the Special Edition expansion) contained this "rule":

moose — Large, quadrupedal ruminant mammal of the deer family. Long legs. Heavy antlers. Humped shoulders. Inhabits northern New- and Old-World forests. Also, a noun sometimes surreptitiously inserted into game text or rules by mischievous game designers as a test of Decipher editorial staff thoroughness. The fact that you’ve never seen this word on a card is evidence of the editors’ dedication — but one of these days we’re gonna miss one!
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72. Board Game: StarCraft: The Board Game [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:236]
Paul
United States
Berkeley
California
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In case you can't read the TIP:

"Don't be eliminated from the game! If you have only one base on the board, defend it vigorously!"

It's as if the fine people at FF knew I had a tendency to defend my bases in a half-assed way...
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73. Board Game: Stone Age: The Expansion [Average Rating:7.47 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.47 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.47 Unranked]
Max Jamelli
United States
Chambersburg
Pennsylvania
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not so much a quote as a typo:

Quote:
please the new game board on top of the original game board




I'm pretty sure they mean place ... but maybe there's a little love hutting mixed in there too. kiss
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74. Board Game: Strasbourg [Average Rating:7.21 Overall Rank:480]
Yours Truly,
United States
Raleigh
North Carolina
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Tip: Family Members, Coins, Goods, and Privileges are in theory unlimited in availability. Should the very rare case arise that the included game materials are insufficient, please add coins, dice,
gummi bears, or other suitable tokens.
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75. Board Game: Tichu [Average Rating:7.65 Overall Rank:64]
Ben Garbe
United States
Madison
Wisconsin
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"For hints on tactics it would be best to ask a Chinese bus driver. In case such a person should prove unobtainable, we will gladly pass on a few tips from our wretched experience; although, when placed beside the wisdom of our Chinese tutor, this must look like a dusty dog-biscuit beside the highest culinary delights of Nanking."
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