Seven Reasons to Hate Eurogames
Matt Thrower
United Kingdom
Bath
Somerset
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I've been hanging round BGG for several years now, and I've been exposed to the wider world of German games, which the 'geek community seems to think are the bees knees when it comes to gaming goodness.
But I just have to disagree.
I was raised on the classic Avalon Hill and Games Workshop classics of the 80's and I'm sorry, I still think that those style of games are about the most fun you can have sat round a board.
So here's some of my top 10 games, along with the reasons why they're better than all this new-fangled euro-rubbish!
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Matt Thrower
United Kingdom
Bath
Somerset
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#1: PLAYER ELIMINATION
I like to think of myself as a modern, forward-thinking liberal who stands for fairness and inculsiveness in all the important facets of modern life such as work, opportunity and rearing a family.
That list, however, obviously doesn't include playing games.
Games are all about competition. They're all about getting one up on your opponent. They're all about winning and loosing. Games where you can be eliminated and thus face the shame and tedium of having to head home early are just adding spice to the mix!
I can't be doing with games that keep everyone playing until the last minute just for the sake of it. Take a risk and play a game that might just dump you out before you're ready.
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Matt Thrower
United Kingdom
Bath
Somerset
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#2 THEME
Every Eurogame I've ever played feels like it's an abstract with a wafer-thin veneer of theme pasted on just to make it more appealing.
I like theme. I like it laid on thick with lots of fiddly special rules, cool components and clunky mechanics. I want to feel like I'm really there, rather than playing a game that's simulating being there.
Pass the red wine.
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3.
Board Game: Titan
[Average Rating:7.08 Overall Rank:317]
Matt Thrower
United Kingdom
Bath
Somerset
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#3 PLAY TIME
Some Eurogames can be played in an hour. Most don't last longer than two.
To me, that's a filler game.
Game nights are all about staying up until 4am, gradually weaving a grand strategy to crush your opponents and take over the board. Sleep is for weaklings. I don't get to game that often, so when I do, I want it to last! If you want an hour long game to fill time, play cards, it's cheaper.
Someone in my gaming group has just sent round an email suggesting we hire an isolated cottage somewhere over a weekend, just so we can play one game of Diplomacy in peace. Seriously.
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Matt Thrower
United Kingdom
Bath
Somerset
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#4 BEER
A lot of the thought-heavy games in the top ten like Euphrates and Tigris might be admirable brain benders, but any proper game should really be tacitly encouraging the players to get drunk and have a laugh.
A game night without alcohol is like a pen without a nib. Pointless.
You'll have noticed so far that I tend to like bloodthirsty games which involve backstabbing and betrayal so I feel obliged to point out that yes, I usually do laugh when people turn me over in games. Not always but usually. Depends how much I've had to drink 
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Matt Thrower
United Kingdom
Bath
Somerset
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#5 DICE
Dice are great. There's a visceral thrill to be had from casting a ton of dice across the table and waiting breathlessly to see the result that just can't be had through endless tile-laying, counter collecting and analysis paralysis.
Not enough Eurogames use dice. I'm convinced that one of the reasons I find Settlers to be the entertaining exception out of the Eurogames bunch is because there was a pair of dice waiting to greet me like an old friend when I opened the box.
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Matt Thrower
United Kingdom
Bath
Somerset
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#6 ABSURDLY COMPLEX RULES
What's so great about games that have a four-page rulebook which is mainly diagrams? For anally retentive geeks like me, big, thick rulebooks are great. Plus they can be used as doorstops.
I once firmly believed you could tell the quality of a game by the thickness of it's rulebook. Several heavyweight grognard games later I'm cured of that affliction but there's a special delight to games which include lots of rules for things that are never likely to occur - it shows foresight and thoroughness. In Dragon Pass I've never seen anyone recruit Hungry Jack but I'm glad to know that there's a section in the rulebook I can refer to if ever the desire strikes me to do so!
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7.
Board Game: Junta
[Average Rating:6.91 Overall Rank:414]
Matt Thrower
United Kingdom
Bath
Somerset
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#7 PLAYER INTERACTION
Too many Eurogames make you feel like you're in a turn-taking puzzle solving session than actually playing a game with other people. Sure you're making decisions and planning a strategy but too often to seems like you're playing against the game rather than trying to outwit other players.
A proper game should demand lots of player interaction both in terms of talking and in terms of pieces interacting with other pieces on the board. What sort of game is it where you can't negotiate some sort of deal with an opponent and then renege on it? And then have him shot as a traitor afterwards?
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Let's spend 1-2 hours together pretending the other player doesn't exist. Add on top of that a real lack of theme and I'd say you're in for one hoot of an evening!
