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The poetic saga of a chess game gone horribly wrong.
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
Edited On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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This is a tale of a game you've all played,
But this game became a bit carried away.
It started out simple, a nice game of chess
But chess should be elegant; this was a mess!
The white King was anxious; he said to the Queen:
"Our position is poor; our opponent is mean.
We're down on material, nearing the crux,
Our offense is stymied, our pawn structure sucks..."
"We'll need some assistance," the Queen interrupted.
"I hope you don't mind if the game is corrupted,
but seeing the board, we have no other choice,"
And saying this much, the Queen lifted her voice... |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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...and called out a signal, a strange singing sound.
The Black Queen, she winced, and the black bishops frowned.
A few seconds later, all painted in green,
Six Carcassonne Meeples arrived on the scene.
"Your highness," they said, bowing deep with respect.
"We owe you our lives from the war in Utrecht.
We've waited and watched for your royal proposal:
The Meeples of France are now at your disposal!"
"I want you to storm the opposing left flank,"
said the Queen, then she paused. "I'll be perfectly frank:
"A few of you may not survive 'til the dawn."
"No matter!" they cried. "We are each but your pawn!" |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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The Black King was outraged. "And so it begins.
The Whites will incite us to mimic their sins,
And so, though it's shocking, alarming, abusrd --
It's time that we called on our own stock reserves."
So saying, he signalled, and summoned from Spain
Sixteen caballeros back from the campaign.
"Majorities don't concern me in the least:
"I want you to render those Meeples deceased!"
The White King said: "Trouble!," and tugged on his sleeves.
"Our Meeples are lumberjacks, farmers and thieves.
They're no match for soldiers. They'll all be unnerved!"
"I thought this might happen," the White Queen observed. |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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"That's why we have backup, and here he comes now."
And that's when a ship appeared off the port bow.
Blackbeard himself, having left Pirate's Cove,
Had sailed to the chessboard and cried out "By Jove! |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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"I'll keelhaul those Spaniards, it's what I do best!"
With an "Arrrrrrrggh!" he pulled two pistols out of vest...
...and fell over dead, with a pick in his eye.
A Shadow Dwarf grinned. "Hey Black Queen! I'm your guy!" |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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"The Blacks opened Silberzwerg? What a disgrace!"
The White Queen cried: "We'll put those dwarves in their place.
Open up Jambo and let loose the snake!"
They did, and it gulped down the dwarf in one take. |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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7.
Ark [Average Rating:6.46 Overall Rank:759]
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"I need more reserves!" cried the Black King, "and hurry!"
And Jesters from Florence lined up in a flurry
But black's new recruits were soon over and done,
By a hedgehog from Ark with a Ca$h-n-Gun$ gun. |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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The battle soon spread, as it raged on and on,
From Marklin to Ys, from San Juan to Catan
Pandora of Borg shook her head at this pox.
"You silly chess pieces, you've opened my Box." |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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But the Kings and the Queens didn't listen, the fools.
Quite willing they were to use others as tools.
As Beowulf fell to a swarm of stink beans,
The Black leaders grimaced: "It's time to get mean." |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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The White Queen surveyed how the chessboard now looked
"Our goose looks more healthy, not nearly so cooked.
The board is a mess, but we do what we can.
With this silliness over, it's back to the plan..." |
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Posted On: 2006-08-25 00:04:12
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