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Games as Cat Grinders
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Sometimes, a guy just needs to have a cat ground. But what do you turn to when you need to perform such a procedure? Games, of course! This is a list of games that I've tested as cat grinders and my various opinions of them.
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Posted Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:23 pm
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The LIFE model cat grinder is an old stand-by, even proudly declaring that it is "Over 30 Years of Family Fun!" I don't know if I could get 30 years worth of fun out of this model, but it did provide me with about 10 pleasant minutes worth of grinding this cat. For a cat grinder, it was rather shallow however, frequently allowing spillage of cat parts over the edges. A deeper grinding tray would have been nice. Overall, a pretty good machine.
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I had never tried the Nexus Ops cat grinder before, but I was pleasantly surprised by its performance. The sausage attachment worked wonderfully, producing a sausage not unlike my intestines, which is what I look for in a good sausage. This grinder is often overlooked in the cat-grinding realm, but I highly recommend it for a quick cat-grinding funtime.
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3.
Board Game: Ra
[Average Rating:7.76 Overall Rank:25]
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While I think the Ra model might be a good cat grinder, my results were less than satisfactory this time around. First, the meat was a little stringy. I'm not sure whether it was the cat or the grinder. Second, I forgot to kill the cat first. I think the grinding of its flesh freaked it out a little, as you can see in the picture. It also came with a whole bunch of numbered yellow tiles, the purpose of which I was unable to dtermine. While I hesitate to pass a final judgement on the Ra cat grinder, I'm not too optimistic about this model.
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The Family Fluxx brand of cat grinder was a really interesting one. Instead of a large receptacle with a grinding mechanism, this one worked more along the lines of a cheese grater. It is both very portable and came with an instruction card, which is very handy. However, despite other opinions that the grinding was so effortless that I'd be done grinding before I knew it, I found the grinding process to be very messy and laborious. I'd rather just flip a switch and watch the cat grind. I would only suggest this option if the cost of a real cat grinder is prohibitive.
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Next up was the "Alhambra" cat grinder. The one worked like a charm. It comes with two attachents and seemed to grind both very smoothly and efficiently. However, as you can see in the picture, you may want a larger model if you're grinding a particularly large cat. As you can see, the cat didn't quite fit laying down, so I had to prop it up to make it grind properly. If you're planning on grinding a tower of cat meat for a larger party or pot-luck this probably isn't the grinder for you. However, if you're only planning on making snack to family sized portions out of smaller cats, you can't go wrong here.
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Who knew that the "Memoir 44" would be such a great cat grinder!?! Just look at all the meat pumping out onto the table. That's grade A ground cat meat right there. The grinder even features a "Command and Colors" system which allows you to create various colors of cat meat. While I stuck with plain old red for this particular grinding session, I'm excited to use this feature in future grinds.
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The last cat grinder I tested out was from the Carcassonne line of cat grinders. As you can see, it suffers from the same size problems as the "Alhambra" grinder. However, the Carcassonne line of grinders is way more versatile, with many expansion kits available for purchase. Ground cat, cat pasta, cat sausage, extruded cat bone, you name it, there's a kit for this line of grinders. I suggest you familiarize yourself with the basic grinder before jumping to the more complex expansions. A great choice for the cat grinding afficianado!
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I’m surprised that you missed the Entdecker TurboKatt 3000, the only choice for speed. Sure, there are some quality issues, but you can’t beat the pure volume of cats that this grinder can process.
Look, I’m not going to make gourmet ground feline with this, but when you need to whip up fresh catburgers for 20 people. . .nothing else will do the job.
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I decided to get the juicer instead.
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Sometimes a recipe calls for slices of cat.
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Posted Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:23 pm
