$10.00
Timmy, would you turn out the lights, please?
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Today, class, we'll be watching a filmstrip which orients newcomers to boardgamegeek.com. If we could please have the most anti-social kid go to the back of the class and turn the projector?
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1. Board Game: Focus [Average Rating:6.50 Overall Rank:1953]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Hi, I'm Tinkerbell. You'll know it's time to turn the frame, when I ring my chimes like this.

"BING.... bidadaling."

Let's begin.
 
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2. Board Game: Start Player: A Kinda Collectible Card Game [Average Rating:6.55 Overall Rank:3591]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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3. Board Game: Gloom: Unwelcome Guests [Average Rating:6.69 Unranked] [Average Rating:6.69 Unranked]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Welcome to Boardgamegeek. You are about to embark on a wonderful adventure where you will learn that the process of draining your bank account and watching your free time and free shelf space dwindle to nothing does not have to be painful. In fact, you'll find this paradise of cardboard and plastic is not so far away.

"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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4. Board Game: Land of the Lost Game [Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Upon first glance, it would seem that there is such an overwhelming selection of games, one would never know where to start. So I will take you around the Geek and introduce you to different types of games, as well as the types of people who play them. That way, you will know who you can spend enjoyable hours playing games with when the rest of the world ostracizes you because your game doesn't plug into a monitor.

"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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5. Board Game: Match Wits: Division Facts [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Before this tour begins, however, we feel it is fair to issue you a warning. Most gamers are not hostile towards newcomers. In fact, we welcome new people here at the Geek. However, Geek-on-Geek crime can get quite nasty as one group of geeks sometimes have aversions to other types of geeks.

"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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6. Board Game: Eurocracy [Average Rating:3.50 Unranked]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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The first group you should meet would be the Eurogamers. Eurogamers and their fans are the primary base of fans on this site. As a fact, that may or may not be true, but as a statement, the Eurogamers have laid claim to it. For three rounds (also called "reboots") they hoarded their geekgold, then bid for this title in an auction round. They hope that this distinction will earn them victory points, which will help them become recognized as the greatest geeks by some etherial geek-judger. That distinction probably won't earn them anything, but they will feel better about themselves.

If Eurogamers start getting too hostile towards you, just roll some dice at them. That should scare them off.

"BING.... bidadaling."
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7. Board Game: Kult [Average Rating:6.68 Overall Rank:3361]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Let's move away from the open hostilities of one group to another and onto a group that evokes a more gentle sentiment: general disdain from most everyone else. The collectible card game fan finds joy in the experience of brainstorming their own creations (aka: downloading last month's tournaments winners from the net), spending hours trading and crafting until they have created a masterpiece that they can then compete against others with. But the other person spent more money on their deck, so they still lose anyway.

People who prefer colectible card games simply can't understand why others don't enjoy them they way they do. Often this feeling is more a reciprocation for people who simply can't understand how people can slowly sink hundreds of dollars over the span of many months.

Those gamers prefer to do it all in one shot.

"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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8. Board Game: Don't Be A Dork: The Ultimate Party Adventure Game! [Average Rating:4.82 Overall Rank:9640]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Some people believe that the rules and mechanics often get in the way of the social interaction, and they prefer to play games where the interaction of the people is the mechanic. Whether describing or drawing, with clues or with clay, the afficianado of the party game believes that the game should maximize the effort of why we get together to play games in the first place: to spend time together.

After the game, the players will spend the next three days avoiding each other so nobody reminds anybody else what fools they made of themselves.

"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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9. Board Game: SPQR [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:1335]
 
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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SPQR! SPQR!!!! What says "stoic", level-headed grognard like SPQR?!?! If !YOU! like really colorful, happy times, become a "grognard"!!! Become a SPQR!!!

"SPQR!..... SPQRdidySPQR!"
 
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10. Board Game: SPQR [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:1335]
 
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Ahem. Sorry.

"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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11. Board Game: Cube Farm [Average Rating:5.77 Overall Rank:6212]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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Now that you have met a small portion of the players here at boardgamegeek, let me introduce you to some of the pieces. You are looking at some colored wooden blocks. These blocks represent, at any given time, barrels of commodities to be shipped back to Spain, slaves being sent from Spain to get more barrels of goods to be sent back to Spain, food, aliens, people, penguins, penguins with guns, camels, castles, alien castles loaded with camels to be prodded for alien research becauses the aliens felt cows deserved a break, bridges, walls, boats, money, zombies, pyramids, bricks spent to build pyramids, bricks spent to build alien pyramids which store probed zombie camels, rodents, rodents to collect, rodents to kill off which are afterwards collected, soldiers, spies, tanks, secret plans of the enemies, bullets, gems, citizens of Egypt, citizens of Mesopotamia, citizens of Rennaisance Italy, citizens of Industrial Age America, citizens of alien races which worship idols of probed zombie camels, pirates, ninjas, amazons, catgirls, (but not space pirate amazon ninja catgirls.... that would just be ridiculous), Greek gods, Roman gods, Norse gods, Egyptian gods, Chinese gods, heavy metal gods, or alien zombie camel gods who keep their pyramids in a castle. If you squint a little, you can see it. Can't you?

Some games also use them just as cubes. But those games suck.

"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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12. Board Game: Never Ending Stories [Average Rating:4.94 Unranked]
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
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One of the best things about Boardgamegeek.com is that everybody seems to have an opinion. Everyone has a joke. Everyone has the need to have a bunch of strangers validate their view of the world. Even Tinkerbell. And as such, this tour of boardgamegeek, and this filmstrip, may never end.

Hope you brought a sandwich.

"BING.... bidadaling."
 
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