2006 BGG Poetry Contest
Rob
United States
30° 12′ 38″ N, 95° 45′ 2″ W
We are, all of us, ill-equipped to deal with a duck.
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People who play games are among the most intelligent and creative people I’ve met. I hope this contest is a fun way to show off those talents. Create your best poem about games and post it here for a chance to win geekgold!
Jatoha, bentlarsen, and melissa will help me judge the entries. To give you as much creative freedom as possible, the rules will be simple:
- The poem must be about a specific game or the gaming hobby in general
- The poem must be original to BGG, i.e. it must not have been posted on this site before
- Up to two entries per person
Here are a few guidelines that may help you and the judges:
- Add an item to this geeklist, and include the poem in that item. If your item doesn’t post properly, just let me know and I’ll get it corrected
- The poem can take any form – rhyming couplets, blank verse, haiku – no restrictions, and it can be funny, serious, or anything in-between
- If the poem is meant to be a song, please include the name of the intended tune.
The contest will run from Sunday the 3rd to Saturday the 9th (Noon CST), at which time the list will be closed, and the judges will vote on the entries. We are planning to give awards for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place.
Good luck and have fun!
Currently, the prize pot is at 160 .
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Ola Hansson
Sweden
Uppsala
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A worn-out robber from Catan
Dreamed of a weekend in Sudan
But a seven was rolled
And away he strolled
To steal from a card hoarding man
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2.
Board Game: Tempus
[Average Rating:6.63 Overall Rank:685]
Kochenbowls
United States
Tucson
Arizona
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And the beast crashed upon the forlorn rocks.
Cast down in spite by discontent of fools.
Fools in the court of hearsay and falsehood.
Shuning away that which was not foretold.
He crawled from out his cold, watery grave.
Finely crafted fingers caress the wall.
Onward he must go, for giants live on!
The hands of faithful reach, taking his grasp!
Fie! On you with steel and chain and taunting lock.
Fie! On you who passes judgement sight unseen.
Few are men of unwielding compassion.
The beast blooms into flowers unnoticed.
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Rush for Peace
United States
Unspecified
Alabama
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Save the date little one.
Gaming time is come -
lets include everyone.
Hey! That’s my fish!
Diamant or filler wish
till the others show.
Play with both eyes open,
holding your cards tight.
Euro light.
Gaming night.
What’s Elfenland?
We’re no longer playing Candyland.
Some games too long, dicefest fight
Monopoly? Not tonight.
Arkham Horror will take all night.
Games of war, Front Line or Acquire
Descent or Achtung - Spitfire!
Holding your little “dolls” tight.
Play with both eyes open,
gripping resources tight.
Warrior Knight.
Board game night.
Khet or Deflexion?
Which one is right?
Now I lay my bid chip down.
Tiles placed in Carcassonne.
If I die during Heroquest,
Leave my bones and horde the rest
Come on and go now it’s your turn.
Forget about that noise you heard.
It’s just re-runs of Seinfeld -
on your tv. . . in your den.
Ameri-trash fight.
Gaming night.
Understand Barling?
Filler light.
Board game night.
Awful Green Thing?
Nah. Let's play War of the Ring.
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Robert Wesley
Nepal
Aberdeen
Washington
-
 okay FINE! here that is then:
"Welcome" to the "BoardGameGEEK" effusion
Come on in and see what's happening!
Pay the price, and get your "Ticket to Ride" before you go
The "Caylus" is set-up, the 'Group' starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing *secretly* you were a "Master Engineer"
But don't be fooled by the..."Atlantic Star"
The "Nexus OPS" or the "Railroad Tycoon"
They show you photographs
of how your 'gaming' with "LIFE" should be
But they're just someone else's "fantasy"
So if you think your "gaming life" is...complete 'obtusion'
Because you never win the "game"
Just remember that, it's a "BoardGameGEEK" effusion
And deep inside we're all the same...
We're all 'here' to GAME!...
So if you think your "gaming" with "LIFE" is, complete 'intrusion'
Because your neighbors' got it 'made'
Just remember that, it's a "BoardGameGEEK" effusion
And deep inside we're all the same...
We're all 'here' to GAME! GAME GAME...
"Ameri-trash" spells NO 'competition'
join us in our "Euros exhibition"
Get yourself a brand new "Battle LORE"!
Someday soon we'll stop to ponder
What on Earth's this "Geekiness" we're under
We made the 'grade' and still we wonder
who has the "Poisson d'Avril"?
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Andrew Burgin
United Kingdom
Luton
Bedfordshire
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"Hey! That's my fish!" The penguin cries
As three fish vanish before it's eyes
Blocking and barring's the order of play
As hot moves melt the ice away
Penguin jumps, and penguin's landed
Good moves leave opponents stranded
Finally the fishing's done
Let's count 'em up and see who's won!
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6.
Board Game: Ra
[Average Rating:7.60 Overall Rank:48]
Justin Redd
United States
Portland
Oregon
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A poem to celebrate the popularity of RA this fall in my Portland, Oregon game nights.
Wet leaves and cold wind.
Rivers, pharoh, monuments.
RA! The suns come out.
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shane maness
United States
Unspecified
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No geeklist e'er complete would be,
without this entry, no?
For the interest of all true gamers lies
in what one ought not show.
And for the rest, 'tis evident,
this one's lower than all varments.
They'd sooner scroll down the page, and skip
the maids with no undergarments.
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Boris Dvorkin
United States
Madison
Wisconsin
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The Glorious Battle
Resteth I my rusty flagon;
out of tavern hence I went.
Up ahead: a fiery dragon!
Dragon spake: "A dwarf? Get bent!"
Trembling, I, and frightened plenty,
gulped a brew of Strength Plus Five;
then I grabbed my ol' D-Twenty,
shook it thrice, and let it dive.
Dragon spake: "Fool groundling! In my
life I've slain so many men!"
I replied: "You haven't seen my
Axe of Dragon’s Bane Plus Ten!
“Dragon, don’t put any airs on —
I shall cleave your head with zest.
This I swear by all the hairs on
Thag the Thunder-Fisted’s chest.”
Dragon: "Premature elation."
I: "Whatever. I shall win."
Words belying trepidation,
scared I watched the Twenty spin.
Smoke from nostrils fast alighting
blocked the haze of setting sun.
Die I watched, prepared for fighting.
Fuckin' thing came up a One.
Dragon roared with burning laughter,
laughed until he rolled with pain;
laughed a little more, and after,
watched me cut my arm in twain.
"Ow," I spake, my elbow bleeding,
left appendage flopping free.
DM spake: "A sad proceeding.
Minus thirty-six HP."
Dragon spake: "How very witty!
Gather up your fallen limb.
Run before I lose my pity."
Grabbing arm, I fled from him.
Up to Temple hence I hasted,
fixed me up as good as new.
Precious time and money wasted:
couldn't least I've rolled a Two?
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Rusty Ballinger
United States
Arcata
California
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Twas the day before game night, when all through the 'geek
I didn't go mousing, not even a peek.
The sodas were stacked in the cooler with care
In hopes that some gamers soon would be there,
The snacks were all ready, both salty and sweet;
Outside was the doormat for wiping off feet.
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my trousers,
Had just settled down and had opened our browsers,
When up on my screen there appeared such distraction
My focus on working became but a fraction.
Into the new window I flew like a flash,
typed "boardgame" and "geek," then dot com and a slash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Reminds me of geeklists with Busen Memo,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a couple of geeks dressed in full biker gear,
With a sidecar of games, one plump and one baldy,
I knew in a moment they were Derk and Aldie.
More rapid than core dumps their XML came,
And they burst from my screen with their bikes full of games;
"Now, PR! Now Caylus! Now, Tempus and Khronos!
On, Gheos! On, Shogun! On, Battlelore promos!
To the top of the shelf! to the top of the wall!
Now cash away! cash away! cash away all!"
As dollars that from a loose wallet will fly
when they meet with a bauble one simply must buy,
So up to my game shelf the two bikers rode,
having unleashed the web site which made it explode.
And then, in a twinkling, I felt in my brain
The need to acquire each game seemed quite sane.
As I drew out my wallet and its credit cards
They unzipped their leathers to show unitards.
Their catsuits were slinky, and sported fake ears,
an image that may give me nightmares for years.
The bundles of games they dumped onto the floor;
It looked like they'd held up my local game store.
Their eyes -- how they twinkled! their dimples, so what!
I needed more games like I need a third nut!
"You bastards," I wept with emotional force,
"When my wife sees all this, she will file for divorce!"
They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
They filled up my shelves, damn that Aldie and Derk.
As my shelves nearly broke from the weight of the games,
My wallet and credit cards burst into flames.
They sprang to their bikes, and to me gave the finger
I knew poverty surely behind them would linger.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they rode out the door,
"Happy game-night to all, and enjoy being poor!"
(that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.)
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Jim Ruddy
Canada
Hamilton
Ontario
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An Ode to Unplayed Games.
By JRuddy
Grey dust and mites,
Oh what a lonely sight!
Are these games,
that remain,
unplayed.
It's wrapped still in shrink.
A gift, but boy did it stink!
The trendy party-game,
remains,
unplayed.
A gold road to hell!
Your intentions were well,
but the popular euro-game,
still remains,
unplayed.
The monster on war,
shamed by a closet door!
The massive war-game,
it remains,
unplayed.
A card game for two,
bought before she left you!
The couple friendly game,
it remains,
unplayed.
An old gamer has died,
With no children to cry,
his games,
will remain,
unplayed.
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Paul DeStefano
United States
Long Island
New York
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Aldie: a man who was clever;
Boardgaming his life long endeavor.
He started this site,
Keeps us up late at night...
Say goodbye to Duke Nukem Forever.
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Andrew Cullen
United States
South Pasadena
California
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Time after dinner, no tube to be turned on
Interaction with childeren, with my wife and her charm
challenges, fun, sharing laughs with everyone
all this in a box, my heart has been won
Never did I imagine that the game of life would be so true
Life is not about rushing from point A to point B
Nay...Instead life is for time
time with your family, time for some fun
So pull out that box, or your cards or your tiles
Slow down a bit no fear of being tired
Life is for Living...Life CAN be fun
For life is a game, a game to be won.
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13.
Board Game: ZÈRTZ
[Average Rating:7.37 Overall Rank:183]
Michael B.
Canada
Stratford
Ontario
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Careful where you place your burdens, like
Paving stones in a shrinking garden.
You must take a path that has been made
Or place a stone that's not been played.
The game advances, losing ground.
You must keep looking at what you've found.
Two of each is an easy win, but
Hoarding blacks, whites, or grays
May reap victory another way.
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Gary Webster
United States
Littleton
CO
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The bag upended; the camels fall.
Five piles we then array.
The Bedouins ‘pon the camels ride,
One color put away.
The board is opened, the players sit,
The oases, holes are placed.
Each player puts his rider down;
My strategy erased!
My turn, it comes, I must choose two
Candy camels, p’rhaps alike;
To set with others of their sort,
An oasis then to strike.
Or should I now a camel play,
A caravan to extend?
Or should, perhaps, the oasis find
And guarantee five, not ten?
The choices many, the camels few;
The brain, it tends to burn!
To keep the other players
From scoring on this turn.
A corner found, two blues to play,
An area surrounded!
All I need are three of flesh,
But the numbers, they are bounded.
He takes my last attempt to play
The last flesh-colored piece.
We count, he gloats, until we find
He’s beaten by my niece!
Oh, Doctor K, I thank you for
Designing this quite cool game,
One that you will always find
Me playing again and again.
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Josh Adelson
United States
State College
Pennsylvania
Hello, can you run as fast as me? I hope not, because if you catch me I will thrash you!
This space available for rent.
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(With exceptionally slight apologies to Ogden Nash's ghost.)
In the world of rules,
Some gamers are mules.
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The Grouch
United States
Tucson
Arizona
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AN ODE TO CARCASSONNE, by Bill Andel
Oh Carcassonne, thou art most bless'd of lands
Where peasants toil throughout thy verdant fields
While brave knights guard thy towns with swords and shields.
In musty cloister pious monks do pray
That wanderers upon thy roads this day
Be not delivered into robbers' hands
But take their ease at inns on journey's end.
Through Carcassonne a mighty river flows
From mountain springs to silver tarn below
Past abbeys, pastures, roads and cities fair
In which cathedrals soar into the air
While swineherds tend their beasts just 'round the bend.
In market stalls the merchant hawks his wares
Of golden wheat or bolts of linen fine
Or oaken tuns of sweet and aged wine.
On roads, in cities builders ply their craft
With stone they metal roads and plans they draft
Of halls to raise with hammers, saws and squares.
The Count of Carcassonne patrols his realm -
He visits forge, bazaar and chapel all,
And then returns within his castle wall.
His subjects greet him all on bended knee
But once he passes, meeples then may flee
Their country brethren thus to overwhelm.
Fell perils lurk within this great expanse:
Volcanoes spawn a dragon belching fire -
Take care ye do not pique its sulf'rous ire;
More dang'rous still is princess fair of face
For mighty knights she doth beguile from grace;
At Cathar heresy all look askance.
Yet magic, too, abides in this domain -
Enchanted gates reverse the sands of time
To prosecute a stratagem sublime.
The Fairy Queen provides her magic aid
To save your meeple from a dragon's raid.
'Ware climbing tower, for it is the bane
Of meeples falling in its line of sight.
Lookouts astride the top this threat eschew
Or meeples placed oblique to tower's view.
Oh geeks, pray tell, forgive this doggerel
In homage to a game that's simply swell
To pass the time with friends both day and night.
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Simon Jackson
Hong-Kong
Hong Kong
-
So much depends
upon
a good village
placement
taking the ports
early
trading wood for
sheep
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18.
Board Game: Zendo
[Average Rating:7.31 Overall Rank:282]
Timothy P
United States
Harrisburg
Pennsylvania
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Zendo: the game of
searching for Enlightenment
in small pyramids.
The rule, concealed,
mocks the students. The master
sports a knowing smirk.
What is relevant:
Number, Orientation,
Size, Color, Pip count?
We build koans to
explore new directions in
pyramid placement.
The master, bemused,
marks our koans to the calls
"Master!" and "Mondo!"
The white and black stones
mark the koans right or wrong.
The rule eludes me.
An incorrect guess
leads to confusion, insight.
What does it all mean?
We stare at the field:
What is the common factor?
What do we not see?
A flash of insight:
I am overthinking this!
It's all so simple!
I build a koan
To test my thinking. "Mondo!"
A green stone is mine!
I use it at once,
and tell the group my theory.
Enlightenment found!
Zendo: the game of
searching for Enlightenment
in small pyramids.
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Bobby Chicken
United States
Texas
-
In the days of yesterdecade,
Before the intrusion of all things manmade,
On our illustrious planet was there peace,
But now our once-mighty race doth nearly cease.
We are the Crystalines of the spire mines,
And as we gaze up higher we see of death the signs,
Up we draw the battle lines against the fungoids of the vines,
The sky looseth light,
Telling of a fiersome fight,
And in this artificial night,
The plasma from above is sure to cause our flight,
For the dragons bringing certain death have come,
Enforcing their wills with breath of rubium.
Surely this tyranny and destruction is not war,
But of our species' certain doom just one sign more,
The dragons can't but take that which they came for,
But though no Cystaline doth this threat ignore,
What can we ignobles do against these beasts of lore?
Yet it is the human that causes this strife,
For before he came the dragon was a peacful form of life,
'Twas the human who introduced the horor of greed,
'Twas the human who came with the evil creed,
To our planet the concept was new,
Yet into an evil menace it grew,
This corporation that mankind introduced,
And now even aliens have been reduced
To war.
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andrew
Australia
bayswater
western australia
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a shameless plug i know, but here's mine.
he smacked the firemen on the head
and kicked him up the arse,
the flames they flickered lowly
and a piddling steam did pass,
he glared at him upon the plate
his shovel barely used,
"you bloody useless stupid prick"
twas colourfull abuse.
once more the gages scanned did he
the news was far from good,
the needles sagged bellow the mark
but move this load they should,
he cranked a cock to fan the flames
and shoveled coal by twos,
this load he knew he had to move
along to mingenew,
Across the yard and by the tree
a wooden building stands,
and cheerful sounds do emanate
clink of glass clatter of cans,
where smokey men did yarn their tails
and gaze on bouncing breast,
well shazzy sure could serve em up
in schooners though lace was best,
an on the plate the fireman lay
his guts had left his mouth,
the state of him looked fit to die
but not to travel south,
his sagging eye did tell the tale
the driver new the nub
watch you crew in little towns
with damn good country pubs
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Paul - the
Sweden
Lund
You don't have to be an Android to use an Android device.
Ow! It's hot, hot, hot.
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FALSE GAMES
Praise your false Games
And kneel down low before them
Tear out your eyes
Cut off your ears
Rip out your tongue
And give them to me
As you won't need them any more
Lying there in the dust at their feet
Begging for their favour
With your heart still pounding
In your outstretched hands
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The Grouch
United States
Tucson
Arizona
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Bill Andel presents
"Monsters Menace America",
A haiku cycle:
Stomping landmarks, towns
And soldiers; growing stronger
Monsters menace us.
Scaling skycrapers,
Swatting strafing fighter planes,
Fierce Konk beats his chest.
From brackish bayou
Clattering crustacean king
Megaclaw clambers.
Vast malignant eye
Coming from beyond the sky,
Zorb zaps all it spies.
Buzzing terror flies
Hunting puny people down;
Preying Gargantis.
Oozing from sewer,
Toxicor, the purple blob,
Devours all in sight.
Rising from the depths
Green scales glistening, mighty
Tomanagi roars.
Bellowing challenges
Titans fight, earth trembles till
Only one remains.
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Rick B
United States
Sacramento Area
California
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Here is the entry with the absolute worst poetry. Enjoy!
My personal top ten
Tigris and Euphrates
through the conflict
I feel good.
Pass me a pretzel.
San Marco is a place in Venice
where the doge hangs out.
Sometimes he moves.
Pre-heat the oven.
Pyramids in Tikal, uncovered.
layer by layer
A wooden person claims it.
Where is the bottle opener?
The coral reef is beautiful.
Volatile algae.
I think I'm winning
no I'm not.
New BGG feature
Extended Stats.
Scrabble, why are you next?
"Concerned." 14 points.
Wise, make up proverbs.
There is an old Arabian saying:
"The camel only baths in spit."
Otherwise.
Another party, Wits and Wagers.
it's okay if you don't know
Bet on Joe, he's the smart guy.
Where is that d#*n bottle opener?
A line of blue trains, all with Tickets to Ride.
Disapproving looks.
I turn red.
We're playing Union Pacific.
Crokinole. Flicking discs.
The friction is unbearable.
I find the Pledge.
Is the pizza ready?
Streets of Arkham.
Three hours later
I'm done setting up.
Now I'm tired.
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Simon Jackson
Hong-Kong
Hong Kong
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Here's my second poem:
Through the desert, across the sand
Trekked the lonely caravan.
We laid camels, me then you
You encircle I breakthrough.
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!!!
yet some MORE for the 'score', that I implore to which I ignore: 'scatusion'; 'xenophusion'; 'devolusion'; 'misconstrusion'; and SOMEONE else's 
I give this poem a D. 
well..what do you EXPECT for 'illiterations'? go get a "refund" from the 'Front Booth' to this 
D Seriously though, nice work!
I just thought since many of the original "giant monster" movies that inspired this game were Japanese that a haiku form ( 
Fort Wayne
Indiana
Good Luck to all participants!
Littleton
CO
There's hope for humans yet.
Tucson
Arizona
Thanks Dex, judges and fellow geeksters.
And Smee, congrats to a former RTEAM Gamer on an outstanding second place poem. Worlds better than my little chunks of doggerel.
Raanana
Yehuda
Madison
Wisconsin
I congratulate the other winners, and, really, everybody who had the courage to put a poem out there. In particular, my hat's off to Kuhrusty, who won my personal #1 vote.