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Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
Eugene Tackleberry
United States
Pennsylvania
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Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius

Real Men of Genius
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1. Board Game: Amun-Re [Average Rating:7.38 Overall Rank:173]
Eugene Tackleberry
United States
Pennsylvania
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Today we salute you Mr. Amun-Re

Mr. Amun-Re

You are very forgiving deity. You allow people to steal from your sacrifice, without retribution. You only use your supernatural powers, when activated by a “power card”

Another master builder

You greedily accept money from farmers who worship you. Knowing all along, you are going to wipe them off the map with a gigantic flood.

Hear those farmers scream

So crack open an ice cold Bud light Mr. Amun-Re. Keep sending water to do your dirty work, as farmers become aware of your pyramid scheme.
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2. Board Game: Leonardo da Vinci [Average Rating:6.84 Overall Rank:636]
Eugene Tackleberry
United States
Pennsylvania
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Today we salute you, Mr. Lord of the City

Mr. Lord of the City

You stay in the box with the plastic stand never seeing daylight. I know this city is safe, even when I close the box.

Safely in the insert

Some people want more responsibility with their job, not you. You asked for a pay raise. You settled for the title.

Beats being called Cool Guy of the City

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Lord of the Insert. You won’t be leaving there for awhile.
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3. Board Game: Louis XIV [Average Rating:7.15 Overall Rank:337]
Eugene Tackleberry
United States
Pennsylvania
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Today we salute you, Mr. Louis XIV

Mr. Louis XIV

Your need for attention is appreciated. Your political decisions are made solely on cold cash and how much attention is given to you.

I want to be held.

You instituted the Louis Code. Fortunately for us, the Louis Code does not prevent us from bribing your cohorts. At the price of 5 louisador, I can receive royal favor from your mistress.

Your mistress gives good crown

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Louis XIV, politics is a dirty job and so is your mistress.
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4. Board Game: Loopin' Louie [Average Rating:6.97 Overall Rank:423]
Eugene Tackleberry
United States
Pennsylvania
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Today we salute you, Mr. Loopin’ Louie

Mr. Loopin’ Louie

You have dedicated your entire life to getting chickens. Learning to fly, death defying maneuvers, flying upside down, all for making those chickens pay.

They won’t be crossing the road.

Grown men shriek at your maneuvers. The box may say 4+ but we all know better.

Four plus twenty-five.

So crack open an ice cold bud O’Master of The Skies. Even though you are flying a plane, it can’t make you fly any more reckless.
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5. Board Game: Kill Doctor Lucky [Average Rating:6.17 Overall Rank:1684]
Eugene Tackleberry
United States
Pennsylvania
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Today we salute you, Mr. Dr. Lucky

Mr. Dr. Lucky

Being a Doctor is a lucrative job, but you decided to buy a CheaPass house. Save that money for a rainy day.

Wish it had a front door

Question: What’s it like to have a syndrome named after you, but not because you found a cure for something?

I wish I was like Lou Gherig

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Quack. A Dr. should be spending his time saving my life, and not the other way around.
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6. Board Game: El Grande [Average Rating:7.84 Overall Rank:25]
Eugene Tackleberry
United States
Pennsylvania
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Today we salute you, Mr. King of Spain

Mr. King of Spain

Sure you are the king, but you let me tell you where to go.

Where to go now

You roam around Spain wondering what’s going on behind your back. Seeing the changes in province you visit, but never seeing the actual changes.

They’re making penis jokes now

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. looks like a penis guy. They may call you a dick, but we think you are all right.
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7. Board Game: The Princes of Florence [Average Rating:7.64 Overall Rank:61]
Eugene Tackleberry
United States
Pennsylvania
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Today we salute you Mr. Jester

Mr. Jester

Everyone likes the funny man. Your antics provide joy, merriment and happiness for everyone in the city. The laughter you provide makes scientists forget they don’t have a laboratory to work in.

Holy Crap! It’s raining.

The renaissance would not have been possible for you Mr. Jester. The only thing needed to lift society out of the Dark Ages was a few good jokes.

Did you hear the one about the plague?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Jester. Without you, the Canzoniere would have been a series of dirty limericks.
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8. Board Game: Guderian's Blitzkrieg [Average Rating:6.85 Overall Rank:3887]
Darrell Hanning
United States
Jacksonville
Florida
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We will meet at the Hour of Scampering.
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Today we salute you, Heinz Guderian

Heinz Guderian

When the guy with the funny mustache wanted Moscow, you went for it in a Big Way.

Thrusting hard into the Motherland

Who could know the same guy would derail you?

Circle back to encircle, now

But you still did the job in your own, not-so-humble-yet-professional way.

Prussian flushin' with professional pride

And who can blame you, for calling an insane man insane?

Writin' those memoirs, now

So, crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Guderian. And take another spin in your grave, for all those pretty panzers pissed away.

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9. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:8.15 Overall Rank:5]
J. R. Tracy
United States
New York
New York
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Today we salute you, Mr. Colonist

Hardworking Mr. Colonist!

The sun is hot and the day is long in Puerto Rico, but it’s the life you chose when you signed up for that ocean voyage!

Hey let me go!

Harvesting corn, working the quarry, manning the factory, all for an honest wage.

Still waitin’ to get paid

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Colonist. You won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.


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10. Board Game: Circus Maximus [Average Rating:6.70 Overall Rank:1157]
J. R. Tracy
United States
New York
New York
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Today we solute you, Mr. Heavy Chariot Driver

Mr. Heavy Chariot Driver!

Some people think this is a race, but you know it’s all about how much blood is spilled on the track.

Why is he pulling towards me?

Lingering on the back stretch, waiting for that weedy little light chariot in the lead.

Dragged across the finish line!

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Heavy Chariot Driver, just as soon as you whip that poor bastard right off of his ride.

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11. Board Game: Santiago [Average Rating:7.17 Overall Rank:343]
Mike K
United States
Fairless Hills
Pennsylvania
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Today, Bud Light salutes you ... Mr. Canal Overseer!

Mr. Canal overseer!

You and you alone decide where the water flows, which plantations will survive and which will wither and die.

I feel like God!

Your actions are pure, your decisions based on logical placement. Those extra dollars others pay you are a sign of respect.

Is that a fiver in your pocket!

So here's to you, Canal Overseer, and have a Bud Light. Our beer may be watered down ... but you control the flow!
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12. Board Game: Ra [Average Rating:7.48 Overall Rank:94]
Mike Romigh
United States
Lansing
Michigan
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Today we salute you, Mr. Pharoah

Mr Pharoah

For wearing ornate, undoubtedly heavy headwear in the hot Egyptian dessert while your minions beseech your wisdom and favor.

Who says I can't take it with me?

Crack the whip and call the orders. You built it. Leave it here, indeed.

Aliens, schamiliens

Idiot humans giving credit to those from the stars for my work?!?!? Tell me again, why I'm being embalmed?


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13. Board Game: Times Square [Average Rating:6.34 Overall Rank:1841]
Evan
United States
California
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Today we salute you, Mr. Champagne Charlie

Mr. Champagne Charlie

You may just be a wandering alcoholic, but the party goes where you go. Usually back and forth through the gutter.

Hey I found a quarter!

You can singlehandedly make a night club succeed or fail, using nothing more than your charm, popularity, and a spiffy green hat.

It's St Patrick's Day already?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Champagne Charlie, because the stuff you've been drinking has gone straight to your gut. and thighs. and...feet.
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14. Board Game: Diamant [Average Rating:6.70 Overall Rank:691]
Eric Knauer
United States
Heathrow
Florida
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Today we salute you Mr. Adventurer

Mr. Adventurer

You courageously explore caves for our amusement and frequently get crushed by rocks, blown to smithereens, or die a slow toxic death.

Dismemberment is fast and painless.

Your greedy desire for precious gems is paramount. Sometimes you'll share, but glory comes when everyone has given up and you strike gold.

Whose sweaty fist am I in? I want to explore deeper!

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Adventurer. The odds are that you won’t live long, so enjoy this tasty beverage while it lasts.
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15. Board Game: Catan [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:161]
Mike Romigh
United States
Lansing
Michigan
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Today we salute you, Mr. Thief

Mr. Thief

Bounding purposefully from territory to territory, thru forest, quarry and vast field of wheat, tireless in your effort to keep the pesky band of settlers from running you out of Catan.

Only the strong survive

Facing wave after wave of soldiers. Moving tirelessly when your number is called. Cursed again and again.

It's a dirty job...

So crack open an ice cold Bud light Mr. Thief...no one can thwart a growing colony as efficiently as the black clad warrior.
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16. Board Game: Carcassonne [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:107] [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked]
Mike Romigh
United States
Lansing
Michigan
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Today we salute you, Mr. Meeple

Mr. Meeple

Versitile and sexually ambiguous, the world of gaming icons basks in the glow of your glory. Farming, engineering, tallying scores - ne'er has there been your equal.

Purposes outside the norm
None compare to your 'things to do while we wait our turn' game piece stacking abilites.

None can compare

So crack open an ice cold Bud light Mr. Meeple. Be you male or female, no other game piece has a cooler unofficial name.
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17. Board Game: Clue [Average Rating:5.63 Overall Rank:6753]
Teh Slipperboy

Allen Park
Michigan
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Wouldn't want to disappoint Frumpish...
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Tonight we salute you Professor Plum.

Professor Plum

You toil endlessly, moving from room to room, searching for clues and eliminating suspects.

Didn't you see the body?

Without your help, we'll never find out who killed him, how or where it happened.

CSI is not your future.

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh lousy theory maker. Solving a murder is hard enough when you have all the clues.
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18. Board Game: Lord of the Rings [Average Rating:6.82 Overall Rank:497]
Kelly Bass
United States
Venice
California
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Today we salute you, Mr. Sauron

Mr. Sauron

You never stopped on your quest to find The One Ring again. It could have been lost forever, but you knew where to look.

Shire... Baggins

Never one to hoard all the glory, you convince your Tower pal, Saruman, to help you in your attack.

"Build Me an army!"

So crack open an ice cold Bud Lite, Mr. Sauron, because you deserve it! Keep on keepin' the little man down! Don't let those new-fangled cameras with the Anti-Red-Eye feature bum ya out, bro'!
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19. Board Game: BattleLore [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:148]
Matt Cobb
United States
Cortland
New York
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Today we salute you, Mr. Bent Goblin Swordsman.

Bent Goblin Swordsman

Smashed in the box with the other non-banner characters, you struggle to stand upright when it's time to take the field.

Always picked last for kickball.

The infamous hot/cold water treatment has had no effect on you, and yet you still carry your sword like you know how to use it.

Hope it's not osteoporosis.

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Bent Goblin Swordsman, because when the ant army attacks, you'll be the first to know.
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20. Board Game: Betrayal at House on the Hill [Average Rating:7.10 Overall Rank:339]
Daniel Jankowski
Canada
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Today we salute you, Mystery Gang

The Mystery Gang

You walk in the dark places where angels fear to tread. Others are smart enough to stay out of that haunted house, but you don't know the meaning of fear. Did I just hear a zombie?

Looking for Brains

Safety in numbers is overrated. No day is complete without someone saying "Let's split up." The only reason you'd meet up again is to pick up the items left beside a steaming pile of dragon-roasted buddy.

Is that a madman behind you, or are you glad to see me?

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mystery Gang. You need friends when times get tough, but I'd keep an eye on that buddy who eats human arms like they're chicken wings.
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21. Board Game: Bohnanza [Average Rating:7.09 Overall Rank:280]
Daniel Jankowski
Canada
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Today we salute you, Mr. Bean Farmer

Mr. Bean Farmer

You earn an honest gold piece with your crops every day. Raising beans in the field, or trading them at market, everyone recognizes your sorrowful mating call.

I've got blue for wax.

Earn enough money to pimp up your farm, and sow that third bean field. That'll show that red bean lover down the road who's boss.

That is one b*tchn' hoe you got.

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Bean Farmer. You'd finally earn your pay for that row of green beans someday, if there were any left in the deck.
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22. Board Game: Mystery of the Abbey [Average Rating:6.55 Overall Rank:853]
Daniel Jankowski
Canada
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Today we salute you, Mr. Medieval Monk Detective

Mr. Medieval Monk Detective

You are the man of science in a dark age. For you, CSI stands for cadaver speculatio innotesco. When a friar is found fried, they call for you. The abbot claims it's the work of the devil, and you say the devil is man.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

Bring on the inquisition, as you eliminate suspects with your questions. Brother Malachi seems to be getting nervous, and you're a hair's breadth away from being excommunicated. So why do you keep talking like Sean Connery?

Give this man a wide berth.

So crack open a Bud Light, Mr. Medieval Monk Detective. It's almost Vespers, and the killer is still out there. Hey, does anyone else taste almonds in their beer?
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23. Board Game: Survive: Escape from Atlantis! [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:176]
Daniel Jankowski
Canada
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Today we salute you, Mr. Doomed Island Tourist

Mr. Doomed Island Tourist

When the volcano starts erupting, you're the first one to scam a boat or capture a dolphin to escape the sinking island. Remember, when disaster strikes, always bet on the dope in the hawaiian shirt.

The island's going boom, baby, boom.

It's a tough job, getting your posse off the island, and making sure everyone else is shark food in the ocean. If it weren't for the sea serpents, you could swear this was one of those cheesy reality shows.

You're gonna need a bigger boat.

The disaster could have been averted if they had sacrificed a virgin to the volcano, but you were nowhere to be found.

All I wanted was a good lei.

So chill on the shore with an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Doomed Island Tourist, because when it comes to survivor points, you're number one.
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24. Board Game: Wallenstein (first edition) [Average Rating:7.56 Overall Rank:183]
Daniel Jankowski
Canada
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Today we salute you, Mr. Incompetent German Leader

Mr. Incompetent German Leader

Only you could pick a fight in Oberpfalz, your four guys to his one, and lose the fight leaving 3 enemy troops behind.

Where'd all those troops come from?

Some would think you'd get a clue taxing Strassburg every turn, only just to fend off your fifth peasant uprising.

I really needed the bread.

Spending all that hard-taxed gold just to build all your castles in the same region, and nowhere else. ya putz.

You didn't explain the scoring to me right.

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, because in Bayern, you're the only guy drinking American beer.
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25. Board Game: Pueblo [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:737]
Richard Irving
United States
Salinas
California
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Today, we salute you, Mr. Walking Around the Pueblo Guy!

Mr. Walking Around the Pueblo Guy!

You walk your beat, checking out the rock apartments that lowly tribesmen are building and punishing them if you spot any trace of originality or individuality.

Crack out the whip!

Beige is your favorite color. There are no other colors. Any trace of other color and you are there, cracking heads. Especially if you have to look up to see it.

Oooch! Ouch! Arrgh!

So crack open a Bud Light, Mr. Walking Around the Pueblo Guy! Your sense of exterior decorating will one day be the rage in East Germany.

Mr. Walking Around the Pueblo Guy!
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