That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in otherwise fine games
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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Is it just me? Look, I don't want to get tagged as some sort of green ink merchant. The sort of person that stands on street corners advising all comers to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the CIA from controlling your mind but...

Some games, just a few. The gameplay is great, neat mechanic, nice theme but...

Somehow there is just something, perhaps one action or a point you always reach that just niggles and niggles and niggles because, in the context of the theme, it is just not logical. And it gets worse over time. It builds with every play. One day you blurt it out and are ignored. Then suddenly people don't want to play this game with you. They are afraid you are going to start banging on about the same old point over and over again.

Are you following me?

Let me explain by way of an example. Then please, add more, show me I am not alone. wow
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251. Board Game: BANG! Dodge City [Average Rating:6.91 Unranked] [Average Rating:6.91 Unranked]
Jon Grey
United States
Los Angeles
California
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Since Bang! was already mentioned, I'll throw in its expansion, Dodge City.

*BANG!*

Deputy Delgado: Sheriff Jourdonnais, señor, what are you doing?

*BANG!*

Sheriff Jourdonnais: Wut does it look like dep'ty?

Deputy Delgado: Looks like you're shooting into this jail cell, trying to waste Willy the Kid, señor.

Sheriff Jourdonnais: Yup.

*BANG!*

Deputy Delgado: But, señor, why did you lock him up with a barrel?

Sheriff Jourdonnais: Well he was carrying it around, so wut the hell?

Deputy Delgado: and with his horse?

*BANG!*

Sheriff Jourdonnais: I regret doing that.. my colt .45 can't quite nab him at this range.

Deputy Delgado: ...is that dynamite?
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252. Board Game: Thunderstone [Average Rating:7.08 Overall Rank:345] [Average Rating:7.08 Unranked]
Ben Chan
Canada
Mississauga
Ontario
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Amazon Archer: Damn it! How come the Chalice Defender is using my hard earned XP to level up to Paladin?? He didn't even show up for the battle! Whyyyyyy?

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253. Board Game: Dungeon Lords [Average Rating:7.49 Overall Rank:114]
Vincenzo Tringali
Germany
Offenbach am Main
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Warrior: "Please, Priest, heal me, I’m bleeding to death"

Priest: "No way. The monsters didn’t attack us this turn, so it wouldn’t be fair if now I heal you"

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254. Board Game: Stronghold [Average Rating:7.36 Overall Rank:300]
Kyle W.
United States
Up Nort' Der
Wisconsin
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Soldier: "Sir, the enemy is at our walls - and they brought a cave troll!"

Veteran: "Quickly, prepare a cauldron! That'll take care of the troll."

----------------
The next day:


Soldier: "Sir, the enemy is at our walls again! This time they sent a whole bunch of goblins - we're outnumbered!"

Veteran: "It's a good thing we set up that cauldron yesterday. If it can kill a big, nasty troll, those goblins are as good as dead."

Soldier: "But, um... Sir? That cauldron is red, so it only works on trolls."

Veteran: "Huh? What's in that thing, troll poison? Quickly, set up another cauldron that will kill the goblins!"

----------------
The next day:


Soldier: "Sir, the enemy is at our walls yet again, and this time they've sent a whole horde of orcs!"

Veteran: "We have two cauldons set up! Surely one of those will help against those orcs?"

Soldier: "Well, Sir, about that... hey, look over there!" *runs away*
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255. Board Game: For Sale [Average Rating:7.21 Overall Rank:220]
Boardgamer Anonymous
Norway
Laksevåg
Hordaland
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Wait, what!!! I have been outbid for this nice apartment. Yeah Yeah, I guess ill take my money and try again some other time, WHAT!!!
MY BANK IS TAKING HALF OF THE MONEY ANYWAY!!! OH THE HUMANITY!gulp
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256. Board Game: Chinatown [Average Rating:7.20 Overall Rank:308]
David McKeown
Canada
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Chinatown businessman : I want to buy this no. 24 lot to complete my restaurant !

Real estate agent : Sorry, you can't

CB : But I have loads of money !

REA : You can only get it if you draw the card from my hat or if you buy it from an archrival...

CB : But...

REA : That's the rules sir...
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257. Board Game: Android [Average Rating:6.78 Overall Rank:709]
Tomas Inguanzo
United States
Unspecified
Unspecified
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You're a suspect in a murder, so don't leave town! Well, you can go to the moon of course, but other than that, don't leave town!
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258. Board Game: Cyclades [Average Rating:7.53 Overall Rank:103]
Aleksander Kopeć
Poland
Gdańsk
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Every time someone get 4 philosophers It's morphin time!ninja

go Metropoli Zord!
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259. Board Game: T.E.G. II [Average Rating:5.04 Unranked]
Eurojuegos Buenos Aires
Argentina
Buenos Aires
Capital Federal
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- Mr. President, BigBrother Intel reports that everyone has a Control Objective over Argentina.
- Argenwhere?
- Argentina, sir. We have a Nobody-Intervention Objective there. We didn't though anyone would mind...
- Ok, then, just nuke the place! I want to see a mushroom the size of Australia there!
- But, Sir, we will not score our objective if we nuke it.
- ????
- Rules of Engagement, Sir. The winner is measured by applause, and it won't be none to applaud for us there then. wow
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260. Board Game: Dungeon Dice [Average Rating:5.88 Overall Rank:4909]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet."
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(I haven't played this in a while, so I hope I'm not remembering wrong.)

"I need to dig a tunnel."

"No problem. See if you can find some lanterns."

"Uh, shouldn't I look for shovels?"

"Yeah, but ladders will help, too."

"Look: I've got two shovels here. Why can't I dig?"

"You just can't. Try to find three keys. That'll do it."
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261. Board Game: Age of Steam [Average Rating:7.73 Overall Rank:61]
Belgium
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and Railways of the World as well. I'm surprised this is not on the list yet.

A fixed number of goods are produced in each city at the start of the game and connecting them to a railroad system empties them, aming the city more and more worthless with every cargo run. And if no goods are left, that's the end of it. The city is empty. You would expect the economy to work the other way around, but hey..

Ok, it IS possible that traincompanies can relieve their highdays when suddenly a wild cube appears! You use transportation by railway. And it's super effective! Again, leaving the city empty and alone, wondering if it should engaging in such one-directional relationships.

And to top it off, to get that extra good inside the city, as a train company manager, you have to produce it yourself! It always kept me wondering what kind of business plan that is... Are you making profits on the transportation, or on the production? So, who is producing it and why did they stop after one item? Or why am I not producing more? It just makes no sense, building a factory to produce one item. And why did I built my factory as far from the rest of the cities as possible? To get a bigger transportation contract? But I produced the good myself, with my own action? So who am I paying again? So confusing...

This is just a very confusing game, that's what I am trying to tell.

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262. Board Game: Rattus [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:544]
Harald Korneliussen
Norway
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"Britain looks nice right now, why don't we go there?"

"We can't. There's not enough rats there. Rats and humans always go together, right? Can't have one without the other. So obviously, where rats go, humans follow."
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263. Board Game: Fresco [Average Rating:7.38 Overall Rank:176]
Green Knight Games
United Kingdom
Cheltenham
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Stallholder: Finest Paints! Freshly mixed! Red blue and yellow all available!
Apprentice : Right, sunshine. You can pack up you stuff and go home.
Stallholder: What?!
Apprentice : You heard me. As my action, I'm closing down this stall
Stallholder: But I got up at 4:00am to mix this lot!
Apprentice : Well, you'll just have to throw it away and mix another lot tomorrow.


Later...

Apprentice 1 : Whoopee! We're off to the theatre tonight!
Apprentice 2 : Yeah, right.
Apprentice 1 : What's on, anyway?
Apprentice 2 : The Murder of Gonzago
Apprentice 1 : Sounds exciting
Apprentice 2 : It isn't. His brother did it. Fancied the wife for himself.
Apprentice 1 : You're spoiling it! How do you know all this, anyway?
Apprentice 2 : I saw it last night, and the night before, and the night before that...
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264. Board Game: Vasco da Gama [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:277]
Schachtelhalm
Germany
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When a ship reaches the destination port it disappears, but the captain comes back to the home port.
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265. Board Game: Abandon Ship [Average Rating:6.35 Overall Rank:2027]
Get up, get up, get up, get down, fall over.
United Kingdom
Bolton
Lancashire
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The ship is sinking, water floods in. It keeps on coming, surely the ship is doomed....

Then suddenly it stops. What could have caused this? Has the hole in the hull magically been closed? Has the ship found some mysterious flotation device?

No, a rat has drowned. As soon as one rat drowns, the ship stops sinking. When it springs another leak, all it takes is one more rat joining the choir eternal and that leak is plugged as well.

Maybe that is where the titanic went wrong, just not enough rats in the hold.
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266. Board Game: Space Alert [Average Rating:7.60 Overall Rank:78]
Ido Abelman
Israel
Hod Hasharon
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there is no time machine in this game, and yet, when a threat apears you can retroactively change your actions before the threat apeared, to fight it. only if these are actions on the same "phase" of course.
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267. Board Game: Carcassonne [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:107] [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked]
bob blobbob
United States
California
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-Sir!

-Yes?

-We've been making progress on this circular road that leads right back to where it starts!

-Excellent work!

-Once it is completed, the highway robber we just put there should make us quite a profit from robbing travelers!

-Oh no. Once we complete the road he will have to leave immediately.

-What???

-Of course! Now that people will actually be using the road, he would be much better suited to be a farmer, or be a monk.
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268. Board Game: Tongiaki [Average Rating:6.24 Overall Rank:1670]
First islander: Ah, here we are, enjoying our time on this island paradise beach. We can relax and enjoy life, because the beach is not full.

Second islander: Look, here comes a fleet of ships! Now we will get to sail!

First islander: We just saw some ships sail from this same beach, and they were destroyed because they were not varied enough in their colors. Alas, we also are all ships of the same fleet. Therefore, we will also be destroyed if we try to sail.

Third islander: I have just arrived on this island paradise, and placed my ships next to yours. Anyone want to take our glorified canoes out into the deep ocean?

First and second islanders: Yay! Let's go!
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269. Board Game: Battle Line [Average Rating:7.42 Overall Rank:133]
Arrrrr!
United States
California
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Seeing that a numerically and color arranged puny same color skirmisher, hoplite, and archer are on my side of the battlefield, the only possible combination that can possibly defeat them in a fight based on the one soldier on your side of the field requires a javalineer and a hypasapist which have already been played of that color because no other color uniform will work, I automatically win.




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270. Board Game: Race for the Galaxy [Average Rating:7.80 Overall Rank:24]
Daniel Jacobsen
Denmark
Roskilde
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"Hello Mr. Contact Specialist, Emperor of the Blue Space Empire here - I see in your CV image that you are very comfortable with all kinds of weird aliens..."

"Yes, that's why they call me 'Mr. Contact Specialist'".

"Wonderful. In that case, I would like to hire you to persuade some runaway robots to join my...ehm our Empire - what do you say?"

"Sure, piece of cake."

"Great, excellent. Also, along the same lines, I want you to sweet talk a robot sentry we just discovered on our borders."

"Ah...sorry, can't help you there."

"Why?"

"Well, I've seen it in the news and...well...you see - it's yellow!"

"So?"

"I don't work with yellow."

"You don't work...what??"

"Yes well my mother told me to stay away from yellow stuff, it's dirty..."

"Your mother...? Hmmm ok let's not get into that. How about a robot scout ship then?"

"Is it yellow?"

"Ehh let me see, where is that briefing...oh, oh crap. Ok, just the runaway robots then. I'd make an appointment for you with my excellent personal therapist, but she likes to wear yellow."
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271. Board Game: BattleLore: Dwarven Battalion Specialist Pack [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked]
Antti Tahvanainen
Finland
Helsinki
Uusimaa
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Dwarven Axewielder: Hey Bagpipeh, thos' weak gobbos come to our way! Blow your pipeh, scare them away!
Dwarwen Bagpiper: Where? Sorry, I gottah see them if I want to scare them.
Axeman: They'r just in front of us. Blow yeh pipe!
Bagpiper: Sorry, but an artist just gottah see teh audience to play. Move awah from sightline, so I can play!
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272. Board Game: StarCraft: The Board Game [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:238]
Emivaldo Sousa
Brazil
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Sergeant: Oh,no! Our Battle cruiser is suffering heavy damage. Send our workers to repair it!

Corporal: Right away, sir!

A few moments later...

Sergeant: Corporal, Our Battle cruiser is once again in bad shape. Send the workers to repair it!
Corporal: We can’t, sir. There are no workers available.
Sergeant: Oh, no! Everything is lost!
Corporal: Don’t worry, sir. It can autorepair.
Sergeant: Hm? If it can repair itself, why we sent a worker in the first place?
Corporal: Sindicate rules, sir. If there’s one worker available we have to use him!

(On the repair reinforcement card on the Terran deck. An strange eurocard lost in an otherwise really good ameritrash game)
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273. Board Game: Thunderstone: Wrath of the Elements [Average Rating:7.61 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.61 Unranked]
B. G. Kubacki
Poland
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A shop in the village:
Squire: Hello, I want to purchase something.
Shopkeeper: Certainly. What do you need?
The Squire looks around, picks up a short sword, swings it a couple of times.
Squire: That’s a good weapon. I’ll take it.
Shopkeeper: Excellent choice, sir. Would you like it gift-wrapped?
Squire: Nah. How much is it?
Shopkeeper: Well, a torch and those two trophies should do it.
The Squire nods his head.
Squire: Fine. Here you go.
Shopkeeper: No, no, no. Just show them to me, sir.
Squire: You don’t want them?
Shopkeeper: I just want to see the items. Nothing more.
The Squire looks puzzled.
Squire: Is it always like this?
Shopkeeper: Naturally.
Squire: So… uhm… how do you make a profit?
Shopkeeper: That’s beside the point, sir.
The squire shrugs.
Squire: Fine. I have another trophy here. Perhaps you could sell me some travel rations?
Shopkeeper: Certainly not, sir. One customer, one buy.
Squire: What?
Shopkeeper: Shop policy.

The dungeon:
Doomknight: Hey, Greyskin, you see anyone there?
Greyskin Lizard looks outside the dungeon.
Greyskin Lizard: Nope. Nobody’s coming. I think they won’t raid the dungeon tonight.
Ooze: Blrrghft. Frrrght.
Doomknight: I think so too, Joe. I think they’re staying at the village. How about some poker?
Ooze: Bflrrr.
Suddenly, the dungeon becomes bright, three fireballs fly in and kill the Ooze. The corpse disappears immediately.
Doomknight: Hey! Who threw that!? Who took the body? What the hell is going on here? Anyone there? Anyone?
Night. Silence. Crickets.

The same dungeon later that night:
Greyskin Lizard: Bad news Boss, the Doomknight was slain.
Guardian: How did it happen?
Greyskin Lizard: He was struck by two arrows, slashed with a sword and pierced with a spear.
The Guardian scratches his head.
Guradian: At least four armed attackers. I’ve never seen a party that big around here.
Greyskin Lizards: No, Boss. There was just one attacker. A weird warrior carrying all that stuff.
Guardian: You mean to say he was fighting with a sword, a spear and two bows? Is that what you’re saying?
Greyskin Lizard looks around.
Greyskin Lizard: Uhm… yeah. I guess.
Guardian: How can you use two bows at the same time?
Greyskin Lizard: Yeah. Well… it’s complicated.

Dungeon entrance. A Dwarf, an Elven Mage, a Militiaman and a Town Guard are preparing for battle.
Dwarf: Aright, lads, we’re going in. The Militiaman goes first, then I’ll go in with my trusty hatchet, then the Elf and the Guard.
Town Guard: Sorry, I can’t.
Dwarf: Whaddya mean?
Town Guard: I’m not going in.
Dwarf: Come one! Look at the Militiaman! He’s got some rags and a dagger and his not afraid to go in…
Militiaman: I’m scared shitless…
Elf: Silence!
Town Guard: It's not that I'm afraid. My insurance does not cover this kinda stuff. Besides, it’s not in my job description.
Dwarf: What? You've got the swords, the armor and the mean face. You sure you're not going in?
Town Guard: Nope. Ain’t gonna happen.
Dwarf: Any way you can help?
Town Guard: I can show you around the village.

Village, middle of the day.
Squire: Hello, I’d like to train my skills.
Trainer: Sure. Grab a sword and I’ll teach you some neat tricks.
One hour later.
Squire: Wow, this really was helpful. I honestly think some experience was gained.
Trainer: Not yet. There is one more thing you have to do.
Squire: What?
Trainer grins.
Trainer: Remember that Militiaman you came here with?
Squire: Clive? Sure. We’re old buddies, we go back…
Trainer: Kill him.
Squire: What?! I won’t do that.
Trainer: Than you won’t learn anything.
Squire: No! Come on! Don’t you have any dummies?
Another evil grin from the Trainer.
Trainer: He is the dummy.
Squire: Well, I gotta do what I gotta do. Clive? Come here for a moment, please.
Militiaman: What’s up, Bob? Why are you looking at me like that, Bob? What’s the sword for, Bob? Bob? Bob!
Meanwhile, at the tavern: Regian Priest bursts with bright light for a moment, as he turns into Regian Bishop.
Bishop: Sweet! Another level!
Squire: Dammit!!!

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274. Board Game: Power Grid: Factory Manager [Average Rating:6.94 Overall Rank:469]
Dan Q
United Kingdom
Oxford
Oxfordshire
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Yes, that's my actual name. All of it.
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"Scatman" Dan Q
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"I must commend you, sir, on the great work you've done with this factory over the last four years. Efficiency has improved so much that now all the work is done by automated robots, and we've been able to lay off the entire workforce! What's our plan for next year?"

"Shut down all the robots and hire back the workforce! We're going to become a sweatshop next year!"

"But... why, sir?"

"The electricity to run those robots isn't free, you know, but the workers don't even take a salary! They're like slaves! Now we're in our fifth year, we don't need them to be available to install machinery, so they might as well come and work here, again, shoulder-to-shoulder with the switched-off robots!"

Ah, progress.
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275. Board Game: Day & Night [Average Rating:6.61 Overall Rank:1757]
Nita y Nieva
Spain
Madrid
Madrid
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http://xkcd.com/162/
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Ok, so Day and Night are fighting for the control of the castle where they usually rest while the other one is "working"... that's aprox 12h/day of resting for each one... According to the rules, moving across the palace costs them 3h for each "room change"...
For five billion years they've been doing their job without issues... Why on earth did they make the Castle 8x6 big?... in the best scenario they can only walk 2 rooms away of the entrance (6h), just before they have to return back to "work" (it costs them another 6h to come back to the entrance/exit)... I just don't get it... I suppose it's because they have some sort of obsession with big houses... I wonder what's on every room they've never been able to visit...

BTW: Great game, we love it!
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