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The Best Choice in '08
Brian Bankler
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060708
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Sure, I've seen the geeklists for other, lesser candidates. I'm not exactly sure why I should vote for Hillary, or Ron Paul, or Obama, but everyone is making sure that they give me there Point-of-view, in convenient Geeklist form.

But you know there's a candidate we can all agree on. Someone who can peer into the future, over the obstacles that confront us all, and unite America.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the next President of the United States!

Winkles the Giraffe!


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Popular Tags: winkles [+] vote-grognads [+] humor [+] [View All]
Posted Sat Jul 28, 2007 1:28 am
1. Board Game: Zooloretto [Average Rating:7.08 Overall Rank:188] [Average Rating:7.08 Overall Rank:188]
Brian Bankler
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060708
Winkles was born in a log cabin in the National Zoo of Washington DC, on the Fourth of July, 1970.
Ross Gerke
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0607
He's barely old enough to even constitutionally qualify for the presidency! Do we really want a candidate lacking in experience? I THINK NOT!
Huzonfirst
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050708
Don't get caught up in numbers, Ross. Winkles has shown wisdom well beyond his years. Vote for the ma--er, creature, not the age!
Peer Sylvester
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Hey Ross,
you forgot: 37 Giraffe-years equal 123 Human Years!
2. Board Game: Go To The Head Of The Class [Average Rating:4.52 Overall Rank:5284]
Brian Bankler
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From an early age Winkles excelled at school. While not the smartest animal in his class, his good-natured clowning and happy demeanor made him a favorite with both students and teachers.
Huzonfirst
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And there's no truth to the scurrilous rumors that he used his unique lengthy attributes to copy from other student's test papers! Not Winkles!
Ross Gerke
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Larry Levy wrote:
And there's no truth to the scurrilous rumors that he used his unique lengthy attributes to copy from other student's test papers! Not Winkles!


Now who's being naive? Do you believe everything the media tells you?
James Davis
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ZiggyZambo wrote:
Larry Levy wrote:
And there's no truth to the scurrilous rumors that he used his unique lengthy attributes to copy from other student's test papers! Not Winkles!


Now who's being naive? Do you believe everything the media tells you?


If Rosie O'donnell says it, it must be true.
3. Board Game: Terra [Average Rating:5.84 Overall Rank:2497]
Brian Bankler
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Early in high school, Winkles started volunteer work. Like all presidential candidates, he was for good stuff. Unlike most of the other candidates, he actually worked to achieve them, instead of just padding his resume and moving along.
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Edited Sat Jul 28, 2007 1:34 am
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4. Board Game: Campaign Trail [Average Rating:6.57 Overall Rank:2275]
Brian Bankler
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Soon after he graduated from college, Winkles was discovered by political big-wig Solamar, who instantly recognized his potential and started grooming him.

After several years, Winkles had an immaculate coat of fur.

Armed with Presidential-calibre hair, Winkles was quickly elected to the city council.
2
5. Board Game: Snakes and Ladders [Average Rating:2.69 Overall Rank:5400]
Brian Bankler
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After that, Winkles quickly climbed the ladder of political success. Detractors (and even someone as beloved as Winkles has a few detractors) have claimed that he has formed an unholy alliance with the snakes, to avoid the pitfalls that have ensnared so many.

The Truth is that Winkles, beloved of all the animals, is a sure-footed leader.
Ross Gerke
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Yeah, anyone can claim to be sure footed when they buy their way out of bad press.
Huzonfirst
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050708
Hey, why do you hate?
6. Board Game: Diplomacy [Average Rating:7.19 Overall Rank:171]
Brian Bankler
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060708
Soon after his election to the Senate, Winkles brokered a peace accord between the Lions and the Lambs. His Statesmanship was visible to the world!
Ross Gerke
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0607
STATESMANSHIP?!?!?! This deal was the very definition of appeasement. Anyone who's seriously looked at the issue knows that the Lion/Lamb peace talks were a sham! When will people learn? If you show weakness you will merely embolden the Lions. War is the only path to peace!
Huzonfirst
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Okay, who let this clown sneak into the Winkles nominations speech? Time to sic the specially trained "convincer" giraffe goons on him!
7. Board Game: Go-Go-Giraffe! [Average Rating:4.93 Unranked]
Brian Bankler
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In conclusion, Winkles is the choice for a new generation! Vote Winkles!

(Sponsored by the Winkles for President PAC).

Of course, every candidate needs endorsements. Lots of endorsements. (And money, too, but Winkles has eschewed large donations). So what's your reason to vote Winkles? What attracted you to him?

(Please post your endorsements!)
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Edited Mon Jul 30, 2007 12:59 am
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13 comments [Hide]
Brian Bankler
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The only people who are worried about a Winkles presidency are the US Secret Service. They just can't jump that high. (Fortunately for us, Winkles knows how to duck!)
Sterling Babcock
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Bankler wrote:
ZiggyZambo wrote:
This ad claims to be the product of a citizen organized PAC, yet this organization is receiving GeekGold from Solamar, Winkles' main PR man.


Oh, so you are one of those McCain-Fiengold lackies who only believes in protecting incumbent politicians? Well I am for Free Speech! And if Winkles-nation wants to donate money, so be it!


Sigh. I should have thought of that. But this geeklist really made my day. If it made me happy, why can't I show my appreciation?

Just to let everyone know, this was completely original to me. I did not know about it until after Winkles announced his candidacy!
Brian Bankler
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060708
I don't think anyone is being serious here, and I treat all comments on a humorous geeklist accordingly ...
Marshall Miller
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That's funny, I didn't think Giraffes were PAC animals...
Sterling Babcock
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Mease19 wrote:
That's funny, I didn't think Giraffes were PAC animals...
Ohhh. That is just bad.

What I find amusing is that when Winkles added his Santa hat, it did not appear in the header to this thread, since it was using a direct pointer to the original avatar.
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