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Things I hate in games...even great games!
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I always thought I was as into games as a person could reasonably be...until I started designing and publishing games of my own. Now every time I play a game I find myself looking at it in ways I never would have five years ago -- everything from the elegance of design mechanisms to manufacturing decisions. What I've found is that while I enjoy games even more now than I used to I'm also more critical. I don't just know what I love, like and would rather not play... I know what I hate.
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Posted Thu Sep 13, 2007 9:30 pm
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Games with millions of bits!
Puerto Rico is a great game. It works, the strategy is very deep, but there are a few things about it that drive me nuts. One is that it takes roughly forever to set up and then you're constantly moving bits and pieces all over.
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I love Magic and I think it's clearly one of the most influential games of all time. What I hate most about Magic isn't manascrew (which, despite the claims of Mark Rosewater that it makes the game better, is a massive design flaw), it's the fact that Magic's success has caused many other interesting and potentially great games to ruin themselves by being collectible.
Here's a good rule of thumb: if your game isn't meant to be played in "Limited" formats, e.g. draft, sealed deck or the equivalent, it should not be collectible. (At least it has no game reason to be collectible...if it's built around a collector-friendly IP, then do what you have to.) Too many games are collectible for no reason other than that the publishers would rather have an MSRP of $1,000 than $40 and think that somehow making a game collectible will magically accomplish this.
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Did I mention that there are some things I really hate about Puerto Rico? I hate games where if four good players and one mook sit down the winner is largely determined by where the mook sits. (Similarly, if two good players play with X mooks and the good players are next to each other, the game shouldn't be determined by which order they're sitting.)
Lots of games have this flaw to some extent, but my impression is that Puerto Rico is one of the worst. (I'm very open to being told I'm wrong about that or that other players have found good solutions.)
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Games that don't know what they are.
I'll always love Succession, and not just because it's my first published game. How could I not love it -- it has so many things I really enjoy, and I'm still proud of the victory mechanic which I think is deep and reasonably elegant, if not without flaws.
Looking back a few years later, my biggest issue with Succession is precisely one of the reasons I love it -- it has so many things I like in it.
Too many.
It's a negotiation game...no, it's a game of calculation and risk-taking centered around blind bids. No, wait, it's a resource-management game where you carefully invest in income streams that double as the game's victory conditions, trying to avoid being too weak to take part in an intrigue but also having to know when to spend all or nearly all of your resources on a big play. Hang on, it's sort of a CCG in boardgame form, with cards like A Surprising Turn of Events and Big Jerk, Little Jerk.
Even the flavor has a split personality. Why does a serious strategy game have Foglio art and card names like Well-Faked Sincerity or an intrigue about a drag masquerade ball? (The answer is because I wanted it to, but still...)
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5.
Board Game: Titan
[Average Rating:7.21 Overall Rank:200]
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Games where I have no idea what I'm committing to.
I happen to be friends with some of the world's best Titan players and I gather things are a bit more predictable for them, but for most of us a Titan game can take less than two hours...or more than two days. I really have to love a game to want to play under those conditions...which means that I'll probably only play Titan when Andrew's visiting (or vice versa) and he wants to.
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Games where the interaction between the rules and the flavor is incredibly arbitrary.
"Hi Joe, how was your harvest?"
"It was great; my tobacco plantations are really doing well. And you?"
"Not so good. Most of my plantations are Corn, and unfortunately there's a lot of corn in Carol's and Jason's warehouses, plus there's four barrels on that boat in the harbor. Until some corn gets shipped home, my plants just won't make any more. If only the harvest gods hadn't decreed that the region's supply of all goods had a specific cap."
"Hi, I'd like to sell some coffee."
"Ah, excellent! Coffee is very valuable; I'll give you four gold for it...ah, plus another because you own a market. Now I must ask you to leave; I never buy more than one thing from a customer."
- next day -
"Hi, I'd like to sell some more coffee."
"I'm terribly sorry, Sir, but I already have some. That first barrel was worth five gold but I wouldn't even pay a penny for another. Speaking of not paying a penny, you might want to come back tomorrow because this gentlemen is selling me some corn for nothing. Now that I have four different commodities I can sell them myself and tomorrow I'll be back in business for your coffee."
"David, what happened to all that Sugar you'd refined?"
"It's a shame. I built a warehouse and was all set to put someone to work there, but before I could call the Mayor, someone else loaded up some ships, at which point of course my Sugar rotted. If only the perishability of goods wasn't determined by the comings and goings of merchant vessels."
"Hello, Captain! Setting sail for home?"
"Aye, that I am...do ye have any goods for me?"
"Sure do...I've got three barrels of corn plus one each of sugar and tobacco. The other captains have filled their holds with Coffee and Indigo, so you can have it all."
"Well, I do have room for five barrels, but of course it's against the code of the sea for me to carry more than one type of good at a time. You choose which you'd like me to take."
I don't know anything about the design history of Puerto Rico, but it looks a lot like a really cool game engine that was created and playtested...and then had a flavor wrapped around it using some power tools and duct tape.
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Games that make me feel dumb as a publisher...because I never would have made them.
We've all heard the stories about the many publishers who turned down a children's book by an unknown author by the name of Rowling...or the agent that wouldn't represent the Beatles...or take your pick.
Me, I bet I wouldn't have published Apples to Apples unless it was designed by someone with enough personal pull to force me to play it a bunch of times.
Apples to Apples has no right to be as much fun as it is. Come on, all you're doing is picking a noun card that someone might choose as the best fit for their adjective! It's lighter than helium...but I don't think I've ever seen a group of people playing it and not laughing.
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I hate the elusive VP!  I've said it before, and now have the chance to say it again.
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9.
Board Game: Titan
[Average Rating:7.21 Overall Rank:200]
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Player Elimination!
Who wants to sit for an hour (or more) and watch others play.
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Cover art that says "don't play me, I'm drab"
Now, I like Power Grid, but I have to hide box from new players at least until we are already playing. When people see this box, their response is usually "...", followed some time later by "...huh."
I know there are people on BGG who like it, but I've never heard someone who isn't a hard-core-Eurogamer say, "Wow! That game looks awesome! What a cool box!" or anything like unto it.
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Ask Me About the Global Geek Photo Album Project (Erik Warnes)
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As much as I love Formula De (I own the base game and 6 expansion tracks), I hated the idea so much of the one-time use dashboards I printed up some poker chip dashboards for my set.
I hate games that require one-time use paper record sheets.
I don't like the idea that part of my game is a consumable commodity, that I will have to either buy later, or may not even be available from the publisher in a few years! Other games with this problem:
Battletech (Though you photocopy or print those on your own)
Stocks and Bonds
Yahtzee
And what I hate just as much:
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Ask Me About the Global Geek Photo Album Project (Erik Warnes)
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Games that require scorekeeping on "a seperate piece of paper".
There are many offenders here...such as Simon Hunt's brilliant game, Take Stock, Alan Moon's Freight Train...or even ol' PR here, after all the VP chips are gone. You know, with all these flaws it just shows PR is good stuff because we play it at all 
Include the stuff I need to keep score, please? Don't sell me an incomplete game. Thanks much.
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Games dependent on random factors to make it fun
Betrayal can be a really fun game, if:
1) it doesn't take forever until the haunt starts
2) you are lucky and get a good haunt.
If it takes too long before the haunt starts or if you get a bad one, you might as well quit and play something else. I rarely ask to play this game since I can not tell beforehand if it is going to be fun or not. The funlevel of a game should not be dependent on a random uncontrollable factor.
Note that I am not talking about luck or chance in general; that I like a dose of in most games. 
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Posted Thu Sep 13, 2007 8:34 pm
the german monopoly, i understand what this game did for the hobby.... but move on folks
