The Top Ten Lies Told by Boardgamers...
David Dixon
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Mauldin
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The top ten lies told by boardgamers, and the games that illustrate them.
Due to the way the site is setup, the top lies are told in reverse order, so number one is actually at the bottom...
Enjoy.

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26. Board Game: Hammer of the Scots [Average Rating:7.59 Overall Rank:177]
Carter Maxwell
United States
Minneapolis
Minnesota
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"I'm at a total loss how I'm supposed to counter that. I might as well concede. Wait -- what if I try this..."

Which really means, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you actually stumbled into the trap I've been laying for you for the past two hours! You are toast!"
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27. Board Game: Europe Engulfed [Average Rating:7.57 Overall Rank:488]
Carter Maxwell
United States
Minneapolis
Minnesota
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"I've been looking forward to taking this one off the shelf and giving it a try."

Which really means, "I've logged about 200 hours online mastering every nuance of this game. You are toast."
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28. Board Game: BattleLore [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:153]
Carter Maxwell
United States
Minneapolis
Minnesota
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"Darn it. I can't seem to catch a break."

Which really means, "This is the best card draw I've ever seen! Get the camera! You are toast!"
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29. Board Game: Leader of the Pack [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
Kevin Brown
United States
Macon
Georgia
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"He's winning, attack him!"


Yes, my board position is ten times better than his, but he has two more VPs right now...
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30. Board Game: Can't Stop [Average Rating:6.85 Overall Rank:485]
Marc Gilutin
United States
Alhambra
California
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I can stop any time I want.
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31. Board Game: Hearts [Average Rating:6.42 Overall Rank:1248]
Bwian, just
United States
Longmont
Colorado
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"I'm shooting, stop me now!"

Which usually means "I've only got this one exit, otherwise I'm going to take 20+ points and not shoot."

Although it does occasionally mean "I've only got this one exit, and if I can convince no one to jump on it by appearing too eager, I will shoot the moon."devil

Edit: Err, make that first one "I've got two exits, and if no one takes this first one I'm going to take 20+ points and not shoot." blush
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32. Board Game: Titan [Average Rating:6.99 Overall Rank:536]
dave klokner
United States
Slidell
Louisiana
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You are the first person I have ever played this game with. shake
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33. Board Game: Strawberry Shortcake Berry-Go-Round [Average Rating:5.33 Unranked]
Richard Pakpreo
United States
Cambridge
MA - Massachusetts
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There's cake...
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34. Board Game: Case White [Average Rating:6.37 Overall Rank:6039]
Elwyn Darden
United States
Richmond
Virginia
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"It's pretty evenly matched."

Followed by: "You might as well take the Poles, you're seated at their end of the map."

or: "Can I sit over there, the light in is my eyes"

or: "Your guys are easier to set up."

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35. Board Game: Risk [Average Rating:5.59 Overall Rank:9746]
Steve R Bullock
United States
Palm Coast
Florida
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"You have to attack (fill in name of a third player)NOW! If you don't they will attack you this turn and crush you!"
I have said this more than once in an effort to get another player to weaken a third player who is about to destroy me.

Sometimes it works.
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36. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:8.14 Overall Rank:5]
Necessary Evil
United States
Glen Arm
Maryland
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Sweet Holy Moses, Fruit F*cker Prime!
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Puerto Rico is a good game.....
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37. Board Game: No Thanks! [Average Rating:7.04 Overall Rank:335]
S. Deniz Bucak
United States
Havertown
Pennsylvania
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As Above, So Below
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My books are forgeries. Nobody wrote them. - Philip K. Dick
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"I don't like math. Is there math in this game?"

"No."

Meaning - addition's not math, it's arithmetic.
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38. Board Game: Puerto Rico [Average Rating:8.14 Overall Rank:5]
Chris Esko
United States
Frederick
Maryland
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"If you pick captain, I'm going to play against you for the rest of the game."

What it means, "If you pick captain, I'm going to whine about it for the rest of the game."
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39. Board Game: For Sale [Average Rating:7.21 Overall Rank:220]
♪ Isaäc Bickërstaff ♫
United States
Greer
South Carolina
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Entropy Seminar:
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The results of a five yeer studee ntu the sekund lw uf thurmodynamiks aand itz inevibl fxt hon shewb rt nslpn raq liot.
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There's nothing that screams "This next bid is going to be REALLY LOW!" more than someone jingling their handful of chips before offering a closed-fist bid.
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40. Board Game: The Sex Game [Average Rating:4.00 Unranked]
Boards & Bits
United States
Spokane Valley
Washington
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"Honest, honey, I was *not* playing games...I was having an affair. REALLY!!"
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41. Board Game: Oil Spill [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Dennis FitzPatrick
United States
Denver
Colorado
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"Oh I never spill anything around games. I'm a safe drinker..."
(goooshhhshshsh) "ummm got a napkin?"shake
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42. Board Game: Cheater [Average Rating:4.06 Overall Rank:11066]
Matthijs v S
Netherlands
Arnhem
Unspecified
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"No, I didn't read the faq/errata"
 
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43. Board Game: Liar's Dice [Average Rating:6.94 Overall Rank:416]
Andy Ravenscroft
United States
Madison
Wisconsin
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"Hey, [slight sarcasm] nice move [/slight sarcasm]. R-i-g-h-t into the trap. No, no, don't change it..."

Real meaning: "Please don't do that. If you do that, I'm toast"

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44. Board Game: Liar's Dice [Average Rating:6.94 Overall Rank:416]
Senor EvilMonkey
United Kingdom
Canterbury
Kent
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"I swear to you, I didn't just buy this game, we've had it for aaaaages."

Are you telling me you've never rushed home and hidden your latest purchase under a pile of games, then casually suggested later that night that "I guess it's about time we tried this one, eh?"
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45. Board Game: Federation Commander: Klingon Attack [Average Rating:7.87 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.87 Unranked]
Tom Grant
United States
Washington
DC
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"Now that I've quickly explained all the rules..."

Just assume that you've overlooked something. I'm mortal. You're mortal. We're always going to forget something. Best to prepare the other players for an Oops! or two.
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46. Board Game: Objective Moscow: The Death of Soviet Communism [Average Rating:6.52 Overall Rank:5891]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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All of the counters were in the box the last time we played...
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47. Board Game: Broken English [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Ron Gamble
United States
Hilliard
Ohio
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"This game is broken."

Usually said by people too cool to read the actual rules, they play the way they think it should be played. Then, when the game isn't as fun as they think it should be, or if it doesn't "work" right, well, it's the game's fault. It can't be the player's fault, right?
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48. Board Game: Advanced Squad Leader [Average Rating:7.88 Overall Rank:124]
Jayson Ng
United States
Dayton
OH
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Wife's comment: "I'm never gonna play that game with you."
Hubby's lie: "Don't worry this is a solitaire game."

We buy games made for two players despite not having someone to play them with. Then we justify that they are "solitaire-friendly" games.
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49. Board Game: Advice [Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
Erik van der Weide
Netherlands
Ede
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"You should move there, that's a good move for you..."

Which it isn't. It's a good one for me.
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50. Board Game: Tigris & Euphrates [Average Rating:7.76 Overall Rank:33]
john mcnamara
United States
grand rapids
MI
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Three players.............

"You have to attack him!! You are in the best position to do so, and there is nothing I can do about it. You are the only one that can stop him from winning, and you have to do it right now!!"

My friend does this in almost every game: he explains that it is only common sense to do take down each other........just not him. If you do attack him:

"Oh no! Are you stupid? If you do that, then both of us will be screwed!! YOu should attack that guy over there!"
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