So, as I wandered through a wood in on the island of Catan, looking for some wood to harvest, I was being stalked by a leopard, a lion, and wolf. I despaired of getting out alive, but just when all hope seemed lost... who should I come upon but the ancient writer Virgil; strangely, he looks a lot like Mark Simonitch in a toga...
"Come," he said, "you have not wandered in your last forest, nor have you harvested your last wood... I must show you what happens to those gamers who have passed on, but been found unworthy..."
And so, like Dante, I set off with my ancient guide, to the underwold, and, like Dante I shall relate what I saw there, as a warning to those BGGs who do evil.
We passed through the Gates of Boardgamer's Hell, where "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate" was written above the door in Scrabble tiles.
I took my first step along the path and discovered what happens to boardgamers who do evil...

PS: My apologies to Dante. If you've never read the Inferno, you owe it to yourself to do so.

Disclaimer for ShreveportLAGamer who responded so earnestly to my attempt at dark humor at an earlier geeklist:

"This Geeklist is not to be misconstrued by you or other parties as an attempt by me to validate and prove the existence of hell which this author acknowledges is at 'such contriviance to the facts' known about the physical universe as revealed by naturally testable, repeatable, and observable phenomenon. Nor is this Geeklist an attempt to validate Dante's Judeo-Christian view of the afterlife, and the previous statement is not meant to minimize the role that Muslim eschatology may have played in the formulation of Dante's magnum opus."