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A recurring theme in Eurogames: Ass-kissing
Raul T
United States
Chula Vista
California
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A common underlying theme that I enjoy in many of my Eurogames is that of ass-kissing. Whether you're kissing the ass of the alpha male with a crown, or the many lesser asses of his minions, this theme never fails to pull people into the hobby!
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1. Board Game: Caylus [Average Rating:7.90 Overall Rank:20]
Raul T
United States
Chula Vista
California
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For a quick ass-kissing fix, the provost is always available. But the winner is the ultimate ass kisser who gets the most "prestige" i.e. "ass-kissing" points. The reward? A friendly pat on the head for a job well done! If only the bailiff weren't in such a rush, we would be able to kiss his ass too!
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2. Board Game: The Princes of Florence [Average Rating:7.64 Overall Rank:61]
Raul T
United States
Chula Vista
California
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"Please make something pretty Mr Artist. I'll let you stay here and you can pray to your false gods. I'll even create a freaking lake for you! Oh, you want a theater too? No problem. Now can you please please please create something pretty? Pretty please?"
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3. Board Game: Louis XIV [Average Rating:7.15 Overall Rank:336]
Raul T
United States
Chula Vista
California
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For most of this game, you're not kissing the ass of King Louis, but rather, you're kissing the asses of people who kiss the ass of King Louis. I like to imagine a continuation of this chain of ass-kissing. Maybe in the next expansion, you can play the part of a toothless beggar hoping to influence (kiss the ass of) the servants of the members of the royal court who kiss the ass of King Louis XIV. Imagine the possibilities!
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4. Board Game: Intrigue [Average Rating:6.38 Overall Rank:1375]
Raul T
United States
Chula Vista
California
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Interesting twist. Here, we get to kiss the asses of our fellow players, and in turn, get our own asses kissed. Nice. The down side is that many times, we expect to get our asses kissed, and instead get them kicked.
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5. Board Game: Alhambra [Average Rating:7.05 Overall Rank:308]
Raul T
United States
Chula Vista
California
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"Please build me something pretty. Don't worry, I'll pay you in fernfs, your native currency! Oh, and please keep the change. Yeah, all of it."
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6. Board Game: Ein Arsch kommt selten allein [Average Rating:4.95 Overall Rank:10078]
John Reiners
United States
New York
New York
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THis game is all about the kissing of asses literally. Well, maybe not the kissing of asses, but certainly about asses in general. I guess you could have variant rules where you kiss ass too, and maybe some where you kick ass. But however you ultimately play it, asses will be involved.
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7. Board Game: Torres [Average Rating:7.20 Overall Rank:281]
B. Udral
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Impress daddy and become king by building big castles!
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8. Board Game: Samurai [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:125]
B. Udral
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Kiss the ass of the helmet, buddha, and rice cake, and gain influence!
 
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9. Board Game: Maharaja: The Game of Palace Building in India [Average Rating:7.20 Overall Rank:322]
B. Udral
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We've already built gardens and castles for some cold, faceless king, why not palaces?
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10. Board Game: Succession: Intrigue in the Royal Court [Average Rating:5.76 Overall Rank:6589]
Agent J
United States
Coldwater
Michigan
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He's looking real sharp in his 1940's fedora. He's got nerves of steel, an iron will, and several other metal-themed attributes. His fur is water tight and he's always up for a fight.
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He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action. He's a furry little flat-foot who'll never flinch from a fray. He's got more than just mad skills, he's got a beaver tail and a bill.
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Another one where you are trying to get in good with people trying to get in good with the King. The one who gets in the best with the one who gets in the best with the King wins.
 
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11. Board Game: 1960: The Making of the President [Average Rating:7.56 Overall Rank:109]
B. Udral
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Kiss everybody's ass. kiss
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12. Board Game: El Grande [Average Rating:7.84 Overall Rank:26]
Железный комиссар
United States
Madison
Wisconsin
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El Grande: Suck up; Kick down.
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13. Board Game: Garden Competition [Average Rating:6.89 Overall Rank:2755]
James Palmer
Canada
Kitchener
Ontario
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Kiss the judge's ass and they'll let you know what kind of flower will get high marks!
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14. Board Game: Saint Petersburg [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:153]
Lindsay Thomas
United Kingdom
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Kiss Tsar Peter's arse by building him the best capital city.
Kiss his arse by making him the most expensive green man in the game.
Kiss his arse by telling him he can turn his hand to anything.
Kiss his arse by naming the Peterhof after him.
Kiss his arse by naming the new capital "St Petersburg" after him.
Kiss Lenin's arse 220 years later by renaming it Leningrad.
Kiss Peter's dead arse by re-renaming it St Petersburg in 1991.


Kiss your Mistress's arse for giving you 6 roubles and 3 victory points per turn.

Kiss Phil Collin's arse for his contributions to the world of cheap jokes in BGG...
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15. Board Game: Diplomacy [Average Rating:7.09 Overall Rank:360]
Lindsay Thomas
United Kingdom
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If you're playing as Austria, kiss Germany's arse, or kiss your arse goodbye.
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16. Board Game: Santiago [Average Rating:7.17 Overall Rank:343]
Lindsay Thomas
United Kingdom
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Looks like he's been kissing his ass too.
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17. Board Game: Pandemic [Average Rating:7.66 Overall Rank:40]
Paul O'Connor
United States
San Marcos
California
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It's a double-barreled problem. Not only do you have to spend all game kissing ass with the Dispatcher to get sent to where you need to be, but the very act of kissing ass also serves to spread the contagion.
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18. Board Game: Cleopatra and the Society of Architects [Average Rating:6.82 Overall Rank:562]
Pierre Pinguet
France
Paris
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Try to impress Cleopatra and win honors by building her a magnificent (if somewhat structurally unsound) Palace !

But trying to actually KISS her royal ass would get you thrown to the crododiles.
 
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19. Board Game: Nefertiti [Average Rating:7.04 Overall Rank:653]
David F
United States
Emeryville
California
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Luck in games, in measured doses, is the catalyst which enables shocking game-changers that you'll remember and talk about forever.
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Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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Kiss the Pharaoh Akhenaton's ass and help him score with Nefertiti's...
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20. Board Game: Pirate King [Average Rating:5.77 Overall Rank:6901]
Mark W
United States
East Islip
New York
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I received this game as a Christmas present last year. I opened the box, looked at all the neat pieces, flipped through the rules...Hmm, claiming lands, navigating the seas, recruiting pirates, combating enemy pirate ships...then I saw the goal of the game is to...earn prestige points. soblue
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21. Board Game: Siena [Average Rating:6.18 Overall Rank:2693]
Jaroslaw Kuczynski
Poland
Warsaw
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Hmmm... looking at the list and thinking about different types of ass kissing I gathered that there are at least a number of sub-types in ass kissing.

Compulsory ass kissing - when the mechanisms won't have it any other way.

Complimentary ass kissing - when you feel like it.

One-time ass kissing - if the system allows you to do 'a special' once per game.

Periodic ass kissing - say once a turn.

Mediatory ass kissing - when you procure an ass kissing facilitator.

Hopeful ass kissing - when the true value of your contributions will be decided later.

Competitive ass kissing - with all the 'who gives the best kiss' auctions.

... shake




 
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22. Board Game: Starship Catan [Average Rating:6.87 Overall Rank:576]
Thijs Lauwbierkoffie
Netherlands
Amersfoort
Utrecht
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www.spellenclubapeldoorn.nl
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Kom spellen spelen bij de Spellenclub Apeldoorn!
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Kiss some alien asses
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23. Board Game: Beowulf: The Legend [Average Rating:6.44 Overall Rank:1292]
Eric Walkingshaw
United States
Corvallis
Oregon
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You want to play a game about fighting monsters and dragons?

Why do that when you play a game about bidding for the right to kiss the ass of a guy who fought monsters and dragons?

Why do the Danes and Swedes still have countries but the Geats are nowhere to be found? Succession by ass-kissery is just bad policy.

kiss
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24. Board Game: Dungeonville [Average Rating:4.95 Overall Rank:10811]
dave klokner
United States
Slidell
Louisiana
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kiss

Polly the Mule
 
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25. Board Game: Survival of the Witless [Average Rating:4.42 Overall Rank:10675]
Roger Taylor
United States
Unspecified
Virginia
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The asses you kiss will decide whether or not you, a junior professor, will get tenure. Appropriately, the most common card in this game is "Ass Kissing".
 
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