Why I Don't Visit Game Clubs
Hunga Dunga
United States
Portland
Oregon
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Ok, I honestly think game clubs are great. The good thing about game clubs is you get to meet new people and play the games you like. You also get a chance to try new games with people who already know how to play them, so they can help you get into the swing of things really quickly.
But over the years I have decided to stop visiting some game clubs for various reasons. This geek list is for everyone to list a reason why they have left a game club, along with an antidote, if possible!
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Hunga Dunga
United States
Portland
Oregon
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Problem: The Crazy Relative
Once upon a time there was this great gaming group. The only problem was this one person who used a very loud voice to tell other people how to play their turn, and demanded complete silence when he played his turn.
He was so loud he even disturbed players at other tables. The problem was that he was a cousin of the person who organized the club, so even though everyone complained, and he was constantly reminded by his cousin to calm down, he never did and was never asked to leave.
Antidote: Ritalin
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Hunga Dunga
United States
Portland
Oregon
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Problem: Players who do not bathe
Everyone seems to complain about this one. But, if everyone's complaining, and at the same time we are all confident that WE are not the offending party, isn't at least one of us being a bit dishonest?
Antidote: Someone with the guts to take the person aside and mention the issue. Really, that's all it takes.
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Hunga Dunga
United States
Portland
Oregon
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Problem: Neo-Nazis
They could creep out from under rocks almost anywhere, but they tend to frequent wargame clubs more than others. If they would just shut up and play, you'd never know their leanings and that might be ok. But there's the type who thinks we all need an education in understanding the "nefarious plottings of the World Jewish Conspracy", and uses gaming down time to get up on his soapbox.
Antidote: Ritalin
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Hunga Dunga
United States
Portland
Oregon
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Problem: The Smoker
This probably doesn't happen nowadays, but back when I was knee-high to a grasshopper, this one game club had a denizen who was constantly puffing away on his tobacco-filled pipe. Unfortunately, he was the club president.
Antidote: Sticking nicotine patches on his arms and legs while he concentrates on his next move.
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Mark Paul
United States
Springfield
Massachusetts
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When I don't have room to play a quick game of Race for the Galaxy with a friend because a bunch of kids are playing Munchkin or Killer Bunnies.
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John Reiners
United States
New York
New York
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Problem: Inconvenience
Because they never meet at times when I can actually attend. Rather they only meet on off Thursdays at 5:37pm to 6:24pm and only during the vernal equinox.
Here's a novel concept - weekends. For those that don't know there are these two days that just so happen to occur right after the work week is done. And not just every once in a while, but rather 52 times a year like clockwork.
many people use said days to relax, have fun, hang out, play games and do things that don't involve working. And unlike work days where the majority of people spend a third of their day working there is actually a huge chunk of the day where there is nothing but free time to play with.
So you'd think a meetup group would put two and two together and maybe work said days into their schedules.
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Paolo Robino
Italy
Dueville
Vicenza
"I'm a Nay Saying worm beast!"
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All of the above, plus usually the meeting room is some communal hall that is, well, less than comfortable. Check all that apply:
- cold in winter
- hot in summer
- damp
- too small (combined with entry #2, this is a killer)
- frequently visited by deranged drunkards (really happened, and the man was the janitor of the place)
- acoustically unpleasant (ok, this is a minor one, but 10-15 people in a hall with naked walls and sparse furniture tend to make the place a little loud for me)
- shared with other meeting groups (so you can't leave unfinished games on the table, and while we're at that, let's say that it would be prudent not to leave gaming material whatsoever in any communal place, at least if you don't plan to get rid of it)
A guy that used to run a gaming club once told me: "The problem is that people prefer to play at their home, rather than at the club." Well, duh!
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Ken F
United States
Fort Wayne
Indiana
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Finding out the guy sitting across from you was a well known designer, publisher and communist The first three things didn't bother me, but then when someone mentioned cats, he went on a tirade about how nasty cats were and stated that he and his son killed cats that wandered into his yard.
Antidote - Drug him, dress him up in a cat suit, then throw him in his back yard
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9.
Board Game: Memory
[Average Rating:4.66 Overall Rank:7703]
Wendell
Spain
Arlington
Virginia
All the little chicks with crimson lips, go...
Hey, get your stinking cursor off my face! I got nukes, you know.
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Hey I was an involved member in a great game club in the DC area. But when I moved to Mongolia, they didn't! Bastards.
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Patrick Runyan
Japan
Matsudo
Chiba
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The guy who insists on talking to you about something he doesn't know anything about instead of what you want to talk about, ie gaming.
For me, this usually has to do with Japan. Either a Japanese person who wants to ask me about something to do with English or America (like: "Do you say 'a thousand' or 'one thousand'?" "Uhm, both." "But... WHY?" or "I hear there's restaurants that only hire big-breasted women!" "Yeah, Hooters. It sucks."), or, in America, something to do with Japan or Anime (like: "You have got to see this hot new anime called [insert lame, derivative cartoon that came out 5 years ago]!" "Yeah..." or "Have you ever seen those vending machines that sell underwear? I hear they're all over the place!" "No and they're not.").
I imagine this happens to people in the military, politics, etc. It also happens to me with programming/computers (although the English/Japan thing is typically more obnoxious).
It's also not that I don't like talking about these things with certain people, just not the above type of person. And NOT WHEN I WANT TO PLAY A GAME!
Antidote: Do not tell anyone anything about yourself. And if they find something out, deny it.
This can lead to an interesting conversation that you will enjoy. ("Are you from America?" "No." "But you're white." "Nope, sorry, Japanese." or "I think people who watch anime are morons.") Fun stuff.
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The guy who runs the group designed a game so you have to try it, no matter how unappealing. Then you have to be blunt about how you hated the game, or diplomatically deflect attempts to get it on the table again forever.
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Sam hudson
United States
Portage
Michigan
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The Titterer.
I had this guy take out Findland in Third Reich (2nd ed) by driving 2 panzer corps over a hair thin strip of blacknes on two different hex sides claiming them as legal terrain. Obvious to all but him that it wasn't. I'm not an idiot, if was a legal hex i wouldn't have left it open. He acted like an anus got out a magifying glass! cited rules sections etc...
He loved to "titter" w/ the Italian player about his granidous plans and what a great general he is Blah, blah, blah...
Prescription:
Viagra he needs to find a different way to get it up.
P.S. I took my usual passive-agressive response. In a true feat of real generalship I was able to loose the game by Spring 1941 and make it look like an accident.
I would much rather play with myself  than play with the likes of him.
The club met at his house and I never whent back.
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Second in a one horse race
United Kingdom
Bromsgrove, Worcs
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The person who IS an expert in his field (usually Wehrmacht Field Artillery 1939-41; or Fallschirmjaeger Fleigerbluse Collar Patterns, Crete Campaign; or Commonwealth Cruiser Tanks in North Africa) and insists on regaling you with his "anecdotes" (because, invariably, it's a man), even though you've hummed your way through the last time he told you about how the track width limited effectiveness in fine sand at El Alamein (or some such), then repeats the story ad infinitum until, one day, you decide to be rude when he starts up. You finish his story for him. Does he get the point? No. He thinks you're agreeing with him and goes into more detail. Worse, you get TWO or more of them who think they are world experts on Panzer IV variants, and get into a one-upmanship shouting match that brings events to a halt.
In case you hadn't noticed, it's my experience that wargamers are the worst culprits.
[Edit:] I should say that I don't mind this kind of thing if a) it doesn't slow play; and b) it's relevant. For the most part, however, the rules are defined and it doesn't matter that a particular Elefant variant wouldn't be able to turn at such and such a speed. Fight that out before the next session, not in the middle.
BTW, I'm not ashamed to admit that I don't know the first thing about Elefant variants, so no need to fill me in, thanks 
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Second in a one horse race
United Kingdom
Bromsgrove, Worcs
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There's an agreed time and place for regular meetings...
... Only you and one other person turn up.
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Allen Wiles
United States
Lawrenceville
Georgia
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They all play the same lite games all the time - the ones you don't care for ...
and god forbid you propose anything YOU want to play  ...
Cure: Play with the kids. They make for more challenging opponents.
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greg r
United States
troy
MI
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PROBLEM YOUR NOT ONE OF US
I went to a game club, signed in, and walked around for ten minutes.
I tried making eye contact, gave a few nods of the head, walked up to a table where a guy was shuffling around boardgames alone. stopped at every game table at least two times and a few three times. NO ONE absolutely no one acknowledged my existence. Kind of like I was some ghost or something no one could see. I made one last lap around the outside of the room and left.
Antidote I don't know I still ain't one of them
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....oops. Too late.
