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Suicide - A Family's Pain
Jon Enns
Canada
Herbert
Saskatchewan
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I have just returned home from a weekend at my wife's brother's place 8 hours north of where I live. We were there for their 25 year old son's funeral. He took his own life last week. The level of pain and grief that is still ahead for the father, mother, and remaining younger brother is staggering. It will take a long time.

My purpose for this list, and I have no idea if it will be in the least successful, is to call on the support of those of this community that are willing to support this family with a commitment to send prayers of comfort and healing toward them from wherever you are. If you are willing to do this for more than just one or two days, enter an item on this list to indicate it.

Like I said, this idea is a shot in the dark, but any extra support to this family is more than what is now in place. I feel I should not release their names so let us call them the Brown family.

The last thing I saw when we left yesterday afternoon was the mother crying on the doorstep with a depth of pain only a mother could know. It near broke my heart. I want to do what I can to contribute to that family's comfort and healing.

Thanks.
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1. Board Game: The Game of Life [Average Rating:4.05 Overall Rank:11058]
Jon Enns
Canada
Herbert
Saskatchewan
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What an awful game to start a list with. But what an awful way for a life to end. I want to keep remembering this family and hope they receive ALL the comfort and healing (and grieving) they need.
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2. Board Game: Tears of the Dragon [Average Rating:5.13 Overall Rank:9606]
Kenny Wong
Canada
Burnaby
British Columbia
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I'm not sure what words of consildation can be provided in an event such as this, but my prayers to the family. This is such an awful event to occur, but we must always remember to push forward and live for those who are no longer with us.

There can always be questions of "why", but when it comes down to it, you can never truly know. But what CAN be done is the most important thing to remember.

Again, my prayers to the family.
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3. Board Game: Small World [Average Rating:7.42 Overall Rank:106] [Average Rating:7.42 Unranked]
Kai Jensen
United States
Santa Rosa
California
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It's a small world indeed if my thoughts from California can in any measure bring comfort to a family in another country. I have lost a grandfather and a great-uncle to suicide and my sympathy goes out to the "Brown" family. My thoughts are with you.
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4. Board Game: Key Harvest [Average Rating:6.82 Overall Rank:889]
Dan Foster
United States
Eagle Bend
Minnesota
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Having recently had an attempt in our family, I join with you and the community with supportive prayers for your family and the whole community that holds them up.
Peace to all.
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5. Board Game: Chess [Average Rating:7.10 Overall Rank:324]
 
Call Me Ishmael
United States
Unspecified
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Our prayers are with this family.
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6. Board Game: Journey Through Life [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Susan Miller
United States
Florida
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I lost my 18 yr old daughter 2 years ago. Children are not supposed to predecease their parents; life is not supposed to work that way. My thoughts and prayers are with this family.
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7. Board Game: Ready, Set, Listen [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Mark Paul
United States
Springfield
Massachusetts
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As a therapist I know the pain is not only crushing your brother's family, but you also. Speak what you are feeling to a friend, a therapist a priest, rabbi, or anyone who will listen. You need to be heard. In the same way your family members are going through feelings of anger, guilt and intense pain. Listen to them. I will pray for you.

By the way, God will listen also.
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8. Board Game: The Wishbone Game [Average Rating:4.00 Unranked]
J H
United States
Billings and Bozeman
Montana
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(For some reason, Wishbone cheers me up.)

I've lost friends to suicide, and know that it hurts to lose someone. I don't know what it's like to lose a child or sibling, though. My thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends.
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9. Board Game: Twilight Struggle [Average Rating:8.34 Overall Rank:1]
Cindy Nowak
United States
Kenosha
Wisconsin
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My thoughts and prayers for all. Truly a difficult struggle to move past this and out of the dark and despair. I hope that in some small way knowing that we care will help.
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10. Board Game: BattleLore [Average Rating:7.44 Overall Rank:148]
Christopher Dodge
United States
Highland
Utah
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Getting over the loss of loved one is a battle but time heals all wounds if you let it. My prayers are with you and your family and hope that hearts are healed in due time.
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11. Board Game: Redemption [Average Rating:5.86 Overall Rank:7109]
J.L. Robert
United States
Sherman Oaks
California
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I know many parents feel a sense of guilt in this type of situation, that they feel they didn't do enough to help their child. I know my aunt and uncle felt that way when my cousin took his own life several years ago.

I don't know if the Brown family is religious. But if they are, I hope that their church family will be able to embrace them and provide them with the support they need at this terribly traumatic moment. It will help them find the validation and spiritual redemption they will eventually need to move forward.

My deepest sympathies go out to the Browns, and to all who were touched by their son.
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12. Board Game: Shadows over Camelot [Average Rating:7.16 Overall Rank:254]
Eric Evans
United States
Port Angeles
Washington
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I am very sorry for you and your family. A suicide in the family is a horrible thing and an emotional tornado. I do not know what happens to us when we die but I will put you and "The Brown" family in my prayers anyway. I believe there is a better place and that prayers do nothing but good. At times like these I'm sure I don't need to tell you to hold your loved-ones like they were little golden acorns in your hand and remember, in time, life will be better.

Eric
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13. Board Game: Helpline [Average Rating:5.80 Unranked]
Brent Cunningham
United States
Lake Geneva
Wisconsin
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My deepest condolences to you and the family of the young man.

One can never know what a person is feeling when a tragedy like this happens, but I feel the need to remind people that help is there if you are depressed or having suicidal thoughts. Please, pick up the phone, call a friend, a relative, a help line...often talking with others about a problem will lend perspective.

And please, if you know someone that is depressed, TALK TO THEM. Lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, a heart to care.

I have changed my avatar to a suicide awareness ribbon, and will keep this avatar for the month of May as a symbol of my thoughts and prayers for the family, and of my willingness to listen to, or help if I can, anyone who just needs to talk.
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14. Board Game: Who is Guilty? [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
Bernhard Naegele
Germany
Wernau
Baden-Württemberg
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My 17 year old cousin killed himself 26 years ago. I was 18 back then and have asked myself (and do it time and time again), was there anything I could have done or said?

We used to live not so far apart as 8 hours and we used to see each other now and then but obviously we were not close enough that he could have told me what troubled him and I wasn´t able to see it without words. I believe it wasn´t my fault, but there is still a thought in my mind should I had to try harder?

In my prayers for Martin I will enclose the thoughts for you and your nephew. I hope they both will find peace in heaven.
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15. Board Game: Magna Grecia [Average Rating:6.61 Overall Rank:1522]
Laura Lawson
United States
Cincinnati
Ohio
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A classmate of mine committed suicide when I was in high school. It's a loss that I still think about today.

The world lost a young man with beautiful, sparkling, intelligent blue eyes; a wrestler who was strong, yet gentle and soft-spoken; intelligent, yet not conceited. He reminded me of a Greek god.

Please let the "Brown" family know that their son will not be forgotten. Those who knew him will hold his memory in their heart--forever.
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16. Board Game: Relationship Tightrope [Average Rating:6.20 Overall Rank:2137]
Phyll
Australia
Sydney
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A little over a year ago a friend at work took his own life. He'd been recently separated from his wife, but it had appeared that they were on the mend, and although we knew he had problems, he had recently began counseling sessions and was on medication for his depression. From talks we'd had with him, it appeared that he was on the up-and-up.

Unfortunately as it turns out, it was a brave face that he was putting on and he was in a much darker place than any of his colleagues had realised.

The doubts by those that are left behind - if there was something that could have been done or said, if we had just that little bit more aware - would that little piece of positive affirmation been all that would have been required to keep him from going over the edge? You know those small kindnesses that cost us nothing to say or do, but we still shy away from them anyway out of some kind of misplaced embarassment or not wanting to be overly touchy-feely?

He left behind a grieving wife and three daughters. Suicide is a devastating thing for the family and friends to deal with and the ripples are far, far reaching.

My thought and prayers are with the Browns at this time.

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17. Board Game: Nuclear Escalation [Average Rating:6.58 Overall Rank:1575]
 
Mircea Pauca
Romania
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I'm very sorry this had to happen.
Hopefully there could have been warning signs and one (or several) better alternatives out. Often it amplifies to misunderstanding and mistrust with even the closest human companions, some doctors with little understanding and even less relevant 'depression' diagnoses and treatments (sometimes they give the 'patient' the clarity of mind and courage to actually do it) and ends with the act of desperation of a hopelessly cornered animal. Even then, it may be the elegant going out *alone* - instead of a kamikaze's act of taking others down together.

I still maintain suicide is the ultimate expression of personal freedom, and its possibility confers a positive *option value* to the rest of the life, how hard it may be. Like nuclear weapons, built to never be used but actual readiness is what keeps large-scale peace in this world now.

I'm very sorry for the not so small numbers of unknown autistics and Asperger's people that live lives so hard at the hand of society that sometimes they choose to take their own lives. Not that *all* suicides were of such persons, but much more than believed.
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18. Board Game: The Peculiar Game of My Wife and I [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Anonymous Anonymous
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My deepest sympathies are with the Brown family and with you.

Depression can be such a devastating illness and so often it is not able to be recognised and dealt with. Often people are afraid to talk about it or ask for help even if they know who they can turn to.
My wife is struggling with clinical depression. Just last New Years I had to take a knife from her hands as she tried to kill herself.
She struggles with uncontrollable and violent rage, and has periods of extreme almost manic activity and productiveness alternating to periods of lethargy and despondancy. And yet these swings almost always catch me by surprise because most of the time she is seemingly doing fine. Until this year I think she had hardly told anyone that she was suffering from depression, still only her closest friends know. She doesn't want her family or mine to know that she was taken into involuntary psychiatric care even though a close relative of hers experienced the same thing. Thus the pseudonym. I have to respect her desire for privacy but it does mean that I can not talk openly with my friends about what I am experiencing either.
I feel for the Brown family. There have been days when I would come home from work dreading to find my wife dead. And our children too. Although I have not experienced and can not comprehend the grief they must be going through I do know the harrowing self-blame and second-guessing that comes from being close to someone who is suffering from depression and wishing that I could do more to help the one I most love.
You are in my prayers.
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19. Board Game: Conflict of Heroes: Awakening the Bear! – Russia 1941-42 [Average Rating:7.61 Overall Rank:200]
 
David Anderson
United States
seattle
Washington
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This Mothers day will be a year since my father killed himself. I feel for the family above. You might not believe it now, but you will go a day without crying. I am so sorry for your loss.


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20. Board Game: M*A*S*H Game [Average Rating:3.62 Unranked]
Bill Gallagher
United States
Torrance
California
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It is indeed unfortunate that so many people feel they have to take the 'easy way out' of their misery by ending their life prematurely.

The theme song from the hit TV show this game is based on is 'Suicide is Painless'. However, it is anything but that for all those who knew the person - whether as a relative, friend, co-worker, etc.

I pray more people realize that suicide is not an option one should consider, regardless of how bad things may seem. There's always someone out there who can help.

My deepest condolences go out to you and everyone else who knew this person.
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