Hilarious Movie Clichés
Fortune
United Kingdom
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When you enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way. Like the villains in all the James Bond movies. Whenever Bond breaks into the complex: 'Ah, Mr. Bond, welcome, come in. Let me show you my entire evil plan and then put you in a death machine that doesn't work'.

This is a list of the most annoying and hilarious logic flaws and stereotypes found in movies. Comments, additions and suggestions welcome!
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126. Board Game: BANG! The Bullet! [Average Rating:7.01 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.01 Unranked]
Luke Moscrop
United Kingdom
Hove
East Sussex
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If movies are to be believed then the most accurate weapon there is, with an almost 100% accuracy rate, is the gun with only one bullet left.

The opposite is also true: the most inaccurate weapon is the machine gun, which despite an endless supply of ammunition, hits virtually nothing.
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127. Board Game: Death on the Streets [Average Rating:8.00 Unranked] [Average Rating:8.00 Unranked]
Hank Meyer
United States
Greenbelt
Maryland
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Why is it that the good guy/hero, when being chased by the bad guy, who is driving a car, always runs down the center of the street instead of merely stepping onto the sidewalk and being instantly protected from injury or capture by a thousand parked cars?
Why is it that every car driven by a wacked-out bad guy cannot accelerate more than 3 miles per hour per minute, giving the hero plenty of time to jog further down the block?
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128. Board Game: Outburst! [Average Rating:5.77 Overall Rank:4014]
Mark Slater
United Kingdom
Newport
Newport, South Wales
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When running away from a potental explosion, everyone instinctivly knows when to throw themselves to the ground, at the moment of detonation.
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129. Board Game: Eyewitness News Game [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
Mark Slater
United Kingdom
Newport
Newport, South Wales
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When someone is told to turn on the TV or switch to a news channel to see some important report, they always get to see the whole report!

Same thing happens with the radio.
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130. Board Game: RoboRally [Average Rating:7.20 Overall Rank:224]
Kyle W.
United States
Up Nort' Der
Wisconsin
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Most of us have heard of Asimov's three laws of robotics:
1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2) A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.


However, unless the movie makes specific references to those laws, they do not apply (and even if they do, chances are good they'll be broken at some point).


Here are the real laws of movie robotics:

1) Artificial Intelligence (AI) is inherently evil. Whether it was intentionally programmed that way, has justified it using logic, or has turned evil due to a "malfunction" is irrelevant; the important thing is that it has decided the human race needs to be wiped out, and fast. If it's the first self-aware AI ever created, the odds of it going bad increase drastically. On rare occasions the AI can be reasoned with, like in the old movie War Games, but generally you're going to be dealing with something like SkyNet. You might might as well pack your bags for the apocalypse and get as many guns as you can find, because chances are you're going to need them - assuming the AI doesn't nuke you first.

2) If a robot is equipped with weapons of any kind, it will use those weapons for destruction. Often that robot is equipped with its own AI or is controlled directly by a master AI, but sometimes it's just programmed with basic instructions on what it should or should not do, but due to a malfunction of some sort is going to try to kill anything that moves. The exception to this is the "hero-bot", which will directly oppose the evil robots and be victorious, despite being vastly outnumbered and/or out-gunned. Bonus points if that hero-bot is protecting John Connor or can transform into a car.

3) If a robot is connected to a human brain, that brain will come from a psycopath. Instead of coming from a well-adjusted, honorable, law abiding volunteer, it will be taken forcibly from a convict, a corrupt scientist, or some other person who has absolutely no business being hooked up to a giant killing machine. Bonus points if they're a drug addict and that addiction is being used as the primary means of "controlling" it. The exception again is the hero-bot, which will have a brain from an uncorruptable, morally good person like a slain police officer (RoboCop), and will directly oppose the robot with the psycopath's brain, the evil robots from #2 above, or the corrupt people that got him "killed" in the first place.

4) If you're in a world where robots have been mass-produced and are commonplace, most will be good and completely non-threatening - except when they're not. You'll see this most often in movies that are set in the distant future (or a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...), where robots will be everywhere, generally just to show that the society is highly advanced technologically. Somehow that society managed to survive the initial appearances of AI, but they never go into detail about it; the important thing it that robots are everywhere as servants, assistants, and laborers, and most people don't pay any attention to them anymore until it's too late. If it's just a single rogue robot, it's never a meaningless appliance or something that can be easily-dispatched/disabled. No, it's going to be some big, nasty industrial robot, or more likely it'll be something the military was experimenting on. If it has any sort of internet/wireless connection you can rest assured it will start to "turn" other robots until you're dealing with a whole army, and it'll become the de facto evil AI that's running the show. Lucky for the humans, they'll have a few loyal and uncorruptable robots on their side to help save the day.
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131. Board Game: Getaway Chase [Average Rating:7.50 Unranked]
Jody O
Canada
Scarborough
Ontario
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Distance:
d = Bad Guy Walking * chase time = Poor Victim Running * chase time

The victim will always be running as fast as possible, yet the bad guy walking behind them is always 50 feet behind.

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132. Board Game: Duel in the Dark: Baby Blitz [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.44 Unranked]
Kyle W.
United States
Up Nort' Der
Wisconsin
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A typical pregnancy can last anywhere from 10 days to 2 years, depending on the needs of the plot. The woman can expect to be visibly pregnant during Valentine's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, but not necessarily in that order.

If a pregnant woman and at least one other person are trapped somewhere or are in some other imminent peril, the woman's water will break and she will immediately go into full labor, despite having had no contractions or any other "warning" signs leading up to it over the previous several weeks.

The duration of the ensuing labor is directly proportial to the amount of peril they are in, and will last until just moments before their time is set to run out and/or they are rescued. If it appears that they're going to die in 3 hours, the labor will last exactly 2 hours and 57 minutes; if it looks like they're going to die in 10 minutes, labor will take 8.

No matter how unsanitary the location of the birth is, immediately upon birth the newborn baby will be completely clean. It will also be six to twelve months old.

Mere minutes after giving birth, the woman will be able to move around freely and even run or make acrobatic leaps if necessary, all while carrying her baby. There's no such thing as a placenta; it's just a myth.
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133. Board Game: Crocodile Pool Party [Average Rating:4.43 Overall Rank:11087]
John Patton
United States
Evanston
Illinois
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We call it the Pool Rule.

If there's a swimming pool in a movie, somebody HAS to fall in it.

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134. Board Game: Rain or Shine [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
John Patton
United States
Evanston
Illinois
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According to the movies, it always rains in Los Angeles, especially if a dectective is on the case. And it almost never rains in England.
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135. Board Game: Hold the Phone [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Kyle W.
United States
Up Nort' Der
Wisconsin
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Telephone calls never interrupt conversations.

If two people are talking and a third person calls one of them on the phone, it will always ring a second or two after both people have completely finished talking. It never happens when someone is in mid-sentence, or before both people have said everything they need to say.



Star Trek is particularly guilty of this one, and will regularly have it happen multiple times in a single episode.
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136. Board Game: Keep Quiet [Average Rating:7.90 Unranked]
Mark Finch
United Kingdom
Bracknell
Berkshire
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If a group of people - say, perhaps a family - is on the run from Very Bad People, there will be one of them who is entirely and resolutely skeptical about of the level of danger they face. Moreover, this person - say, perhaps the teenage daughter - will have some pressing reason to violate whatever rules are put in place by the hero for their own protection: don't call anyone, they'll call their boyfriend; don't leave the safe house, they'll go off to the mall to buy a handbag or sneak off to the Prom.

In fact, this last one is particularly galling as the idiot in question will have been saying 'but it's my Prom' at every opportunity since their sequestration began, and yet nobody resolves to keep an especially-close eye on her in the hours leading up to Prom-time.

Of course, the bad guys will absolutely either intercept the communication or the person, or both, but the whining moron will still not get it until the chainsaw is whirring mere inches from their face.

Whether they get saved or not typically depends on their gender; teenage girl is likely to live as a result of direct nick-of-time hero action and will learn to listen humbly in future; renegade guys on the other hand have almost certainly had it (e.g. beardy creep in Die Hard) as the hero tried to warn them whilst they still had a chance and he needs to protect the greater group
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137. Board Game: Coup de Grâce [Average Rating:7.00 Unranked]
Pierre Pinguet
France
Paris
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Except if the film is deliberatly trying to break the cliche, the hero will never kill a human villain in cold blood.

-They fight.

-The hero wins and has the villain at his mercy.

-If the villain is particulary nasty (he raped the hero's dog or ate his grandmother), the hero will have an internal struggle, but will finally decide to spare him, "cause he's better than that"

-The hero will then drop his guard a little, and the villain will make a futile, desperate last attempt at killing him, forcing the hero to dispatch him in self defense

Bad guy's dead, Good guy's untainted, Public is happy

Except in "Dexter" and similar series where the hero is a Psycho
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138. Board Game: The Cannonball Run [Average Rating:4.50 Unranked]
Christopher Onstad
United States
Donald
Oregon
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Cars in race movies have at least 7 gears. And never have to downshift.
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139. Board Game: Ghost Train [Average Rating:6.47 Unranked]
Dennis Walker
United Kingdom
Unspecified
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In a movie with a ghost, the ghost can walk through walls.
If the matter contained in a wall is not impeding you, HOW can you use the ground as propulsion for walking??

(I seem to remember that in "Ghost" Patrick Swayze can't kick a can because his foot goes through it, but he can easily stand on the other leg while doing so. Or somehow manage to run, jump and land whilst passing through any other impeding wall or train!)
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140. Board Game: Plan-It [Average Rating:3.00 Unranked]
Erik van der Weide
Netherlands
Ede
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Unspoken plan guarantee

If a plan is explained beforehand, it will go terribly wrong. If the movie cuts away right after someone says "Listen, this is what we're gonna do..." the plan will always go exactly as planned.
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141. Board Game: Collateral Damage [Average Rating:6.44 Overall Rank:8931]
Erik van der Weide
Netherlands
Ede
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Collateral Damage

It is perfectly okay to kill 23 henchmen, the villain and his right hand, endanger lots of bystanders, and cause millions of dollars worth of damage, just to save the damsel in distress.
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142. Board Game: Back Up [Average Rating:4.30 Unranked]
Erik van der Weide
Netherlands
Ede
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You don't keep backups or plans of any dangerous technology or weapon. If it is destroyed, it's gone, and nobody can ever rebuild it.
If you fail with your intricate villainous plan, even if the failure was caused by some unforeseen improbable coincidence, you can't ever try the same thing (or a variation) again.
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143. Board Game: Star Wars: Hoth Ice Planet Adventure Game [Average Rating:4.80 Unranked]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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All alien planets have only one climate, never different climatic zones, like Earth.
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144. Board Game: Murder City [Average Rating:5.44 Overall Rank:9534]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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The killer is always an innocuous, once-introduced-and-then-forgotten character, or whomever you would suspect the least.
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145. Board Game: The Princess Bride [Average Rating:2.00 Unranked]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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When swordfighting, if one guy ends up on a cliff above the other, the other guy will calmly wait for his opponent to do a back-flip jump, landing opposite him with no balancing trouble. He will never attempt to attack him mid-air.
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146. Board Game: Indiana Jones from Raiders of the Lost Ark [Average Rating:4.28 Unranked]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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People sober up really quickly. (Marion- about to pass out- suddenly perfectly fine when Indy shows up.)
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147. Board Game: Slap Happy [Average Rating:4.67 Unranked]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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That reminded me: male hero, meeting old girlfriend, will always say, "Hello, [name]." She will always slap him. He will always be surprised, even though he knows full well why she's slapping him.
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148. Board Game: Power Grid [Average Rating:7.99 Overall Rank:11]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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Electric-themed bad guys will always get wet, short-circuiting and electrocuting them.
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149. Board Game: Ricochet Rabbit & Droop-A-Long Coyote Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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Guns, no matter how large, have no recoil (and can be held in one hand).
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150. Board Game: Happycross [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Perry Fergin
United States
Baltimore
MD
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Abraham Lincoln
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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet."
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In fights, bad guys will always be smiling and cheerful; good guys always grim.
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