$10.00
The New RPG That's S(w)eeping the Gaming World!
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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"What, another RPG?" you’re asking yourself. With so many fantasy-themed role-playing games already on the market, how could there possibly be room for another? Never fear, skeptical reader; this game is totally different. How, you ask? The answer is quite simple.

With minor alterations to the spellings of familiar RPG staples, one can turn each of them into something entirely new! And since many people are already spelling them this way, very little adjustment is needed for veterans of those older, mustier gaming systems. Here are just a few examples of the innovations that await you in the new role-playing game that’s going to have everyone talking:

Maizes and Malaprops
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1. Board Game: Heavy Gear Blitz! [Average Rating:7.35 Unranked]
 
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Spell: Lightening Bolt

Treasure too heavy to carry back to town? Never fear - one zap with a lightening bolt and those coins will be light as feathers for the next several hours. Warning: not recommended for use as a weight-loss product.
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2. Board Game: North to Alaska [Average Rating:5.34 Unranked]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Character Race: Nomes

Though seldom seen outside of their mythical homeland in the distant north, Nomes are in high demand among adventuring parties for their physical and mental prowess. The Nome kingdom is reportedly a land of abundant wealth, extraordinary wonders and beautiful maidens*.




*Sponsored by the Alaskan Tourism Council
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3. Board Game: Golem [Average Rating:6.55 Unranked]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Monster: Gollums

These magical constructs can be made from many different materials (fish, stone and iron being among the most common), and are most commonly controlled via a ring. The party that tries to control one of these fearsome creations for itself, however, may soon face an even greater peril: a lawsuit from the Tolkien estate.
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4. Board Game: Bratz: Make Me Up! [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Character Class: The Rouge

Lipstick smeared? Can’t find the right shade of eyeliner? With powers like Disguise Zit and Hide Five O’clock Shadows, no adventuring party will want to leave home without a Rouge to handle these and other cosmetic emergencies.
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5. Board Game: Lite'n Up: The Diet Survival Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Spell: Cure Lite Wounds

Other RPG’s don’t tell you about the high fat content of their healing spells. Worry no more! M&M’s priestly magic has half the calories and no trans fats.
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6. Board Game: Hungry Hungry Hippos [Average Rating:4.08 Overall Rank:10964]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Monster: Gobblins

Beware, or these innocent-looking creatures will eat you out of house and home - sometimes literally.
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7. Board Game: Gloom [Average Rating:6.43 Overall Rank:1068] [Average Rating:6.43 Unranked]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Armor: Grieves of Protection +1

+3 vs. puppies, rainbows and the annoyingly cheerful.
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8. Board Game: The Bug Game [Average Rating:4.00 Unranked]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Magic Item: Rod of Lordly Mite

While this scepter is in your possession, the tiniest insects will bow down before you.
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9. Board Game: Walt Disney's Uncle Scrooge Lost Money Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Monster: Stinges

Individually these bloodsuckers are little more than nuisances. In groups, however, they can nickel-and-dime an adventurer to death within seconds.
 
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10. Board Game: Leonardo da Vinci [Average Rating:6.84 Overall Rank:630]
Eugene Ko
United States
Lakewood
Colorado
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Spell: Baleful Polymath

For use only in the direst of circumstances; once summoned, a being of such power cannot be easily dismissed...
 
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11. Board Game: Big Fat Lies [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
Ian Engleback
England
Croydon
London
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Monster Statistic: % in Liar

We all know monsters are evil, so they all tell porkies, but some more than others, so how's a DM to know ? (unless you are playing Original D&D, where this typo really did appear).
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12. Board Game: Roll-a-Role [Average Rating:1.50 Unranked]
Russ Williams
Poland
Wrocław
Dolny Śląsk
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Rule: Saving Role

Did a rock trap fall on your weak wizard? Did magical runes confuse your feeble-minded fighter? Many dangerous situations that might otherwise injure or kill your character can be evaded by a Saving Role. Using a 20-sided die, you randomly generate a new role for your character - perhaps this role will be better able to deal with the danger!
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