Top 20 outside the top 2000 - yes that's TWO THOUSAND you wimps! a.k.a. Probably The Most Important GeekList You'll Ever Read
Joshua Miller
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Top 200 is child's play. I can play games ranked in the 200s in my sleep, covered in bees, using only a spatula, with a 20% blood alcohol level.

Virile gamer heroes of legend were known to have entire sessions devoted to games outside the top 2000. And there were only about 2005 games in those days, so they mostly just played LCR and Old Maid at those sessions.

Here's my top 20 outside the top 2000. Pass the awesome sauce!
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1. Board Game: Thingamajig [Average Rating:6.36 Overall Rank:3426]
Joshua Miller
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If it feels like brass knuckles in your hand, that's because it's about to deliver a knockout punch to your head, about to unleash a frenzy of creativity and wit and laughter, about to apply a beatdown of sweaty ThingaMAGIC!

Damn, aren't you lucky to be playing THE BEST GAME OUTSIDE THE TOP 2000!?!

If Thingamajig were animal sex tapioca pudding, it would probably be the best animal sex tapioca pudding you've ever had.

If Thingamajig were a cartoon character, it would be Sally from Peanuts.*








* Okay, I threw that in just to confuse people, because I don't score any points if EVERYONE gets it.
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2. Board Game: Pick Two! [Average Rating:6.41 Overall Rank:3797]
Joshua Miller
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My pick two is Pick Two.

Obviously.

You can probably tell from the exclamation point that this box contains pure gaming excitement.

Leave that other game to your BananaGRAMS and BananaGRAMPS whose slow arthritic fingers can only grasp one tile at a time. Manly Men of Myth and Game Dames of Fame prefer to PICK TWO!*





* Actually, Bananagrams is quite good, but Pick Two has way more tiles - enough for several people to play at once.
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3. Board Game: Parlay [Average Rating:6.10 Overall Rank:5135]
Joshua Miller
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Parlais vous AWESOMENESE?

For most of you, this game will soar right over your heads. But the gaming elite among us want to play poker and spell words at the same time. Whoa Nelly, back up! Did you say play poker and spell words AT THE SAME TIME???!!!?!1!!1!

Yes, yes I did.

And although I know it sounds impossible, I think you will be able to do it since you were smart and sophisticated enough to thumb this GeekList.

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4. Board Game: Titicaca [Average Rating:6.27 Overall Rank:3776]
Joshua Miller
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If you're in the 3rd grade, you already want to play this game because you're captivated by the unholy combination of boobies + poopy.

If you're not in the 3rd grade, you still want to play this game because it's so fun and because it cooks in five minutes and is part of a healthy breakfast.

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5. Board Game: Kunst Stücke [Average Rating:6.54 Overall Rank:3677]
Joshua Miller
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You probably already know all about this very popular game, since it won the Spiel des Jahres four years in a row - still a record.

I think this is the most cleverly-named game in my collection: literally "Pieces of Art." The totally captures the theme and gameplay, and has a cool double meaning. I bet Karl-Heinz Schmiel is good at Thingamajig....

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6. Board Game: Thor [Average Rating:6.58 Overall Rank:2836]
Joshua Miller
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You can take your stupid Flinke Pinke, and I'll take my almighty THOR, thank you. Who, in case you didn't know, is the frickin' god of thunder!! If Flinke Pinke were a god, he'd be the god of Teletubbies or wine coolers or some such nonsense.

Thor also accommodates up to six players, has a slim profile, and features extra modes of play. Oh yeah, you read that right. Tremble in the presence of its slim profile and extra modes of play.



Thor also approves of the clack-tastic Quandary, so long as you smash the tiles together violently to create thunderclap sounds while you play. But Quandary is in the top 2000 (it's grouped with the unendorsed-by-Thor versions Flinke Pinke, Loco, and Botswana).

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7. Board Game: Climb! [Average Rating:5.89 Overall Rank:6546]
Joshua Miller
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Speaking of gods and heroes of antiquity, playing this game is like performing the undiscovered 13th labor of Hercules.

See if anyone in your group has the strength and courage to climb a mountain using only the fingertips of one hand! I can do it, but this game will probably be too hard for most of you flabby recreational gameathletes.

This game is so hardcore that I had to order it from an outdoor outfitter shop because the wimpy game stores where you shop do not carry it (true story).

Please note the exclamation point marking this game as an extreme sport.

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8. Board Game: Hyle [Average Rating:6.79 Overall Rank:3316]
Joshua Miller
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Want to know how badass this game is? It was a true obsession for the most menacing, nightmarish villains of the 20th century - the snarling, jackbooted Nazi storm troopers. I'm sure you already know this if you've watched any movies, since the Nazis were constantly blurting out their short list of unholy idols to anyone who would listen. Their succinct pledge of allegiance contained only two items. Hyle was their first loyalty, their evil overlord ranked second.

I recommend playing the 7x7 version, Hyle7. It's longer and more interesting, and you won't have to feel like a Nazi.



Fun fact: Eric Solomon is the pen name of Friedrich Nietzsche, who has been posthumously designing games since 1973. He traveled forward in time to design the games, then back to the 1930s to give them to the Nazis, then further back to 1898, when he started going crazy(er) and soon died. Tragically, he was unable to go back one final time in order to date his mom when she was in high school. He planned to give birth to himself, thereby proving that he was the true übermensch.
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9. Board Game: Control Nut! [Average Rating:6.28 Overall Rank:3769]
Joshua Miller
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CONTROL NUT!
The GAME of Taking CONTROL
...or going NUTS trying


Capital letters, exclamation point, and an urge to take control - an urge so strong that it may end in insanity.

Clearly this is a game full of power, testosterone, and adrenaline.

It's probably the most macho of all the games about squirrels collecting nuts.

And it's weird and fun.



Fun fact: Squirrels are always on the lookout for abandoned aquariums (aquaria?) because they love to raise brine shrimp and watch them magically grow from a dry powder. Also, squirrels raise baby kangaroos in special pouches inside their cheeks. That's why they kind of look like little opossums (opossa?) or wombats - they're adoptive oral semi-marsupials.
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10. Board Game: Attacktix Battle Figure Game: Star Wars [Average Rating:6.17 Overall Rank:3979]
Joshua Miller
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Man, I'm already half-way done and I'm not even close to running out of good games!

I bet even Han Solo plays Star Wars Attacktix. Because in Star Wars Attacktix, you actually get to shoot storm troopers with real physical bullets. Han Solo wasn't even allowed to do that in the Star Wars movies. You may not know this, but those laser guns were totally fake. Well, these storm troopers won't be faking it when they fall into a crumpled heap. Because they just got walloped with a belly full of hot, hard plastic.
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11. Board Game: VisualEyes [Average Rating:5.61 Overall Rank:7772]
Joshua Miller
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If you and your friends are boring or simple or unimaginative, then skip to the next item because this game is not for you. Hyper-competitive, bickering rules lawyers will also want to skip ahead.



Okay, you're still reading, so I know that you are creative and fun-loving and congenial and clever and just generally all-around awesome. You are the type of person who should enjoy VisualEyes. Being a little bit drunk or sleep deprived might also help.
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12. Board Game: Visionary [Average Rating:6.51 Overall Rank:3260]
Joshua Miller
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Okay, close your eyes and follow these instructions.

(1) If you skipped ahead because you aren't smart or creative, then don't worry because you don't need to be either of those to enjoy this game.

(2) If you skipped ahead because you don't like to play fun games, then keep skipping ahead to the end of the list, then leave a comment about how stupid or offensive or incorrect this list is.

(3) If you are an abuser of human growth hormone, skip ahead because your freakish skull is way too large for the blindfolds included in this game.

(4) Now quickly stack the dowel on top of the longest block, and then put one of the triangles pointing sideways on the very top.

(5) If you followed my instructions carefully, then feel free to ignore the instructions because your eyes are closed and you can't read them anyway.
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13. Board Game: Wheedle [Average Rating:6.17 Overall Rank:3156]
Joshua Miller
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Michigan
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This is kind of like the old classic Pit, except that it doesn't suck.*

The unwashed masses of BGG rate Pit higher, but are you really going to trust the unwashed masses over an elite game expert who has a pretend game award that he named after himself????**

My advice for enjoying this game is as follows. Play standing up, play with fun people, and don't get too obsessed with the card on the table (it's very important, but trading with the other players is usually more important).








* Okay, Pit doesn't suck, it's merely average. But I'd never choose it over Wheedle unless I'm playing with kids.

** Whose 2010 edition should be arriving soon.
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14. Board Game: The Game of Life: Card Game [Average Rating:5.81 Overall Rank:7303]
Joshua Miller
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Michigan
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It's a well known fact that Life sucks, and then you die.

In fact, BGGers rate Life as one of their ten sucking-est experiences.

But the LIFE Card Game sucks way less. There are at least 2900 things that suck more than the LIFE Card Game, again according to BGG raters.

And most importantly, Mikey likes it.



If you pause the video at the end and look closely, you can see Mikey's stomach exploding from speedballing while eating several packs of Pop Rocks mixed with Caffeine Free Diet Coke. Guess being high on Life just wasn't enough for the little guy.
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15. Board Game: Gnadenlos! [Average Rating:5.96 Overall Rank:4420]
Joshua Miller
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If you can read nearly-invisible text, then you are probably very intelligent. I think you'll enjoy Gnadenlos, since you're smart enough not to issue a bazillion IOUs - which would of course lead to a loss for you and an unsatisfying game for everyone.

Here's a very tangentially related reward for being so intelligent:

Click here for reward
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16. Board Game: Vernissage [Average Rating:6.31 Overall Rank:3893]
Joshua Miller
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Clearly, Klaus Teuber's four best games are Hoity Toity, Starship Catan, Gnadenlos, and Vernissage.

Clearly.

The Settlers of Catan isn't any better than these games, it just got some favorable hype while it was playing Vernissage, moving it up the red carpet and making it fashionable.

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17. Board Game: Floriado [Average Rating:6.20 Overall Rank:6418]
Joshua Miller
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This game is so hip that you can't get it even though it's free.

There really are only three types of people in this world.

(1) People who have this game because they bought a game from the Cwali booth at Essen in 2003.

(2) People who have this game because they are awesome.

(3) People who do not have this game because they are not awesome, and did not buy a game from the Cwali booth in 2003.
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18. Board Game: Submarine [Average Rating:5.69 Overall Rank:6440]
Joshua Miller
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Strange that 1310 BGGers own the microbadge for this game, yet it only has an average rating of 5.78

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19. Board Game: Warp 6 [Average Rating:6.61 Overall Rank:4542]
Joshua Miller
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Holland
Michigan
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People probably didn't buy this because they realize it will become obsolete when someone comes out with Warp 7.

Buy it people, IT'S WORTH THE RISK! Live a little! Show 'em how you roll!
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20. Board Game: Crystal Faire [Average Rating:5.62 Overall Rank:8574]
Joshua Miller
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Michigan
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This is a game about selling crystal meth to dorks at a renaissance faire.

It has an unfairly low ranking because most BGGers are toothless, meth-addled LARPers.



If you're a virgin to gaming in BGG's lowly 5000s, I have seven to eight words for you (the number depending on how anal retentive you are): Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here!
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