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Dear Flabby -- advice on life and love for the BGG community
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Advice columnists like Dear Abby and Miss Manners have provided guidance for millions of troubled people around the world. The unique problems facing active members of the BGG community might be beyond the experience of these experts, so I have decided to offer my services to any Geek seeking helpful advice about life and love.

You are welcome to post a question as a new item on this GeekList. If you are feeling a little shy, please send me your request for advice in a private GeekMail. Your anonymity will be protected.

A few sample requests will be provided as guidelines.

Thank you for participating. You will feel better after sharing your troubles with Dear Flabby.
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1. Board Game: Quest for the Ideal Mate [Average Rating:3.30 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Dear Flabby:

I’m a single guy but would like to get settle down and get married. I have been trying to expand my social network so I recently joined a wargame group in hopes of meeting a few intelligent girls. My archers performed magnificently in a session of Agincourt but Cupid’s arrow hasn’t scored any hits. What should I do?

Lonely in Laredo



Dear Lonely:

While many intelligent women participate in the wargame hobby the ratio of males to females is often around 50-1 or higher. In other words, you have a better chance of finding your bride in a Turkish prison.

I suggest joining an internet dating site. Clip a photo of some ruggedly handsome model from a men’s fashion magazine and use that image in your profile. If you don’t have a copy of GQ around the house, just use this:




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2. Board Game: Speedy Delivery [Average Rating:4.85 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Dear Flabby:

My husband spends several hours on BGG every night. He attends a game group session every Saturday. I love him, but this routine is dull and dreary. I need some excitement in my life. What should I do?

Bored in Buffalo



Dear Bored:

If your husband is active on BGG he is undoubtedly intelligent, witty, creative, generous, and kind to small animals. Hang on to him; he is a keeper!

However, I do sympathize with your dilemma. A mild flirtation never hurt anybody, so spice up your life a little.

My wife has a thing for the U.P.S. driver. Perhaps you could follow her example: order a bunch of stuff on the internet and have the packages delivered to your office.

Good Luck!

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3. Board Game: Easy Money [Average Rating:4.88 Overall Rank:10779]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Dear Flabby:

I have always dreamed of becoming a game designer. I recently inherited the equivalent of $50,000 from my rich uncle in Dusseldorf. I want to publish a board game prototype that I’ve been working on since 1993. What is the best way to get started?

Eager in Essen



Dear Eager:

There are probably 100,000 active users on BGG. Of those 100,000 active Geeks, approximately 99,999 have a board game prototype in development. Go to the bank and convert your inheritance into cash. Drive along the Autobahn and throw the currency out of the window, scattering the money along the highway. The result will be the same, and you won’t prolong the agony.

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4. Board Game: Feeling Lucky! [Average Rating:5.50 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Dear Flabby:

I introduced my girlfriend to the board game hobby about six months ago. Now she is active on BGG and buys at least one game every week, usually one of my favourite new titles. She is forming a women’s game group and plans to attend BGG.CON next year. What have I done?

Confused in Coventry



Dear Confused:

If your girlfriend is a supermodel from Estonia with a PhD. in Military History, you have reached Nirvana.

Now go away and don’t ever bother me again!

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5. Board Game: A Christmas Story Board Game [Average Rating:2.74 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Dear Flabby:

With the Christmas holidays approaching my wife will expect me to spend less time on BGG and more time with the children. How can I wiggle out of these family obligations?

Anxious in Alberta



Dear Anxious:

The solution is simple. Tell your wife that from this day forward your family will be celebrating the traditions of Festivus. I’ll be looking forward to your lengthy “Games I Played On Christmas Day” GeekList this December!




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6. Board Game: Cats in a Box: A Game of Feline Photography [Average Rating:7.67 Unranked]
Pete Belli
United States
Florida
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Dear Flabby:

My boyfriend has a cat. This frisky feline has the leaping ability of an Olympic athlete and constantly jumps on the table in the middle of my board game sessions. How do other Geeks handle this situation?

Perturbed in Perth



Dear Perturbed:

I understand. My wife has a kitteh.



I have sent you a GeekMail containing a list of every Korean restaurant within 10 kilometers of your home.
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7. Board Game: Vegas Showdown [Average Rating:7.24 Overall Rank:273]
Davido
United States
California
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Dear Flabby:

In any game that involves dice or cards, my 9 year old daughter beats me like a rented mule. Yes, I am looking at you Midnight Party and Frog Juice. I want to take her to Vegas, but they don't allow under 18 in the casinos. How can I best exploit my progeny's clearly psychic manipulations of dice and/or the devil pasteboards for lucre and gain?
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8. Board Game: Skeletons in the Closet [Average Rating:3.67 Unranked]
Andrew Roy
United Kingdom
Bath
GB
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Dear Flabby:

My brother is clearly trapped in the closet. I had, in addition to the standard Hasbro and Monopoly board games that already had homes on the family shelves, 5 or 6 good games before I left my parents' house and set off on my own. He would play with me, but always complained when I got a new game (which would have been building up to the 5 or 6 [or maybe 7 or 8] total of good, BGG-popular games) that I had enough games already. Well, since moving away I've got a whole stack of new games that he didn't even know about, me being in a different country now. When he came for a visit he was dying to play them all and didn't even want to leave for any sight-seeing, and insisted I bring some games with me when I returned home for a month long holiday. However, he still always says he doesn't like games, and that I have an insane amount as it is and why would I want any more (though he'd be happy to play them!).

Flabby, I'm confused - my brother is clearly a closet gamer who doesn't want to admit that's it's alright to own and enjoy good games. What can I do to have him see this? I feel that he isn't really being honest with himself, and it hurts me to be around his negative attitude to the hobby - my hobby...his hobby.
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9. Board Game: Pandemic [Average Rating:7.66 Overall Rank:40]
Sim Guy
United States
Albuquerque
New Mexico
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Dear Flabby,

When I first got into gaming all my gaming buddies were fit, trim, beer swilling studs, who could pull a couple of all-nighters in a row to play a monster game over the weekend. I look at my buds today and they are pear-shaped, balding, beer swilling (some things never change), geeks, who get drowsy before the evening news. Help! Is this some sort of disease?? Is there a cure? Help me Flabby One, you're my only hope.

Blue in ABQ
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10. Board Game: The Good, the Bad, and the Munchkin 2: Beating a Dead Horse [Average Rating:7.09 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.09 Unranked]
Dan Wojciechowski
United States
Aurora
Illinois
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Dear Flabby:

I hope you can help me, because I don't know what to do. We have been married nearly 5 years. I really love my husband, but he beats me. At first, it was only a little harmless tying. Then he started to win at simple games that were mostly luck. Now, it seems as though he beats me all the time. My friends keep telling me that enough is enough and that I should find another partner, but I really do love him. When we aren't playing, he is really sweet, and he's a good provider, but I worry that if we have children, he might start beating them too. What should I do?

Torn
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11. Board Game: Marriage Material [Average Rating:5.44 Overall Rank:9301]
Andrew Roy
United Kingdom
Bath
GB
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Dear Flabby,

Long time reader, second time writer. I'm having issues with my wife. 'Getting a new one' is not an option. We used to find ways to enjoy our time together before we played any board games. Then she bought me Carcassonne. Fast forward 2 years and we spend all Saturday playing games with each other or making and eating food to give us sustenance to play games. Occassionally we play a game of ping pong or go to the shop. However, we've lost all of whatever intimacy we once had - the only 'games' we play these days are board games, if you know what I mean.

Is there a way to enjoy both our hobby AND some of the perks that normally come with being in a steady relationship?

Worried About Intimacy Lost Especially Ruppitypuppity
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12. Board Game: Busen Memo [Average Rating:4.83 Overall Rank:10832]
Martin Plourde
Canada
Windsor
Quebec
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Dear Flabby
I have this bunch of wargames sitting on the shelf, and my girlfriend who is waiting in the room next door. Should I play solo or should I join her for that 2player game she wants me to try? ninja
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13. Board Game: Twilight Struggle [Average Rating:8.34 Overall Rank:1]
Joe Eckroth
United States
Littleton
Colorado
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Dear Flabby,

I am lucky enough to have a gamer wife. However, she is the most competitive woman alive. It isn't about the game, it's about WINNING. Here are the two ways our gaming sessions end:

She wins: Games are so fun! Let's play some more!
I win: She complains about getting screwed on turn 8. I didn't beat her, it was her own mistakes that cost her the game.(I blame daddy issues)

Aside from letting her win (which I admittedly have done) how do I bring out the woman that just wants to have fun playing a game with her husband?

Cold in Colorado
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14. Board Game: Winner's Circle [Average Rating:6.93 Overall Rank:509]
J Chav
United States
Murray
Utah
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Dear Flabby,

For the past few years I've played games with my family of origination after Sunday dinner. Recently my oldest daughter started pre-school. My wife wants our daughter to get her rest Sunday night so she is well rested for school.

This leaves us with no time for me to join my family in a gaming session. I find myself sitting at the table watching their every move and being pulled away before the big finish. While watching is fun I know I could win at least 75% of the time if I was playing with them. What should I do with my lack of wins? Is there a win-win-win situation?

Wishes he was Winning in Utah
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15. Board Game: Through the Desert [Average Rating:7.07 Overall Rank:318]
Shane Hubenig
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Hey flabby-

I wish my wife would play more games with me. Here is the crazy part. For her its all about theme. If the theme reminders her of something in her childhood, she is al over it, and no matter how complex or deep in strategy, she does well.

But anything fantasy, my favorite genre, she finds "too complicated" and dosnt play.

(Her Dad was an enginneer and she grew up in Libya, so she likes any game with camels or deserts or ancient ruins in it.)

How can I get her to play small world, Kingsburg or Descent!
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16. Board Game: Survive: Escape from Atlantis! [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:173]
Neil
Canada
Toronto
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Dear Flabby,

I am in a horrible, abusive relationship, but I don't know how to end it. Whenever I try to split from my wife, she forces me to stay and problems continue to get worse. I feel I will never be able to escape her. The problem is this: she wants me to use my paycheque to pay for food and clothing for the children (we have two kids aged 5 and 7), car payments, the mortgage, insurance, and retirement savings. In other words, she has venemous hatred for me and my gaming collection. She refuses to acknowledge that it's my money, not her's or the kids', and that I can spend it on whatever I like: games, more games, game chic tables and shelves, vacations to game conventions, etc. I truly hate my family, and I have wondered many times why I stay. I think it's because my wife has psychologically abused me with her complaints so much that I feel truly oppressed, enslaved and unable to alter my fate. How do I get out? Should I call the police? Or maybe I should just strap a bomb to my chest and blow myself up at the dinner table?

Trapped in Toronto
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17. Board Game: Agricola [Average Rating:8.12 Overall Rank:6]
Phil Standen
United Kingdom
Hove
East Sussex
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Dear Flabby,

My girlfriend and I have a very health relationship in the bedroom, but she insists on "taking the brown" at every chance. I'm sure many men would jump at the opportunity, but I am a worried that it is inhibiting our chance to grow as a family.

It is severely affecting my ability to score, how do I stop her spiking the wood?

Bemused of Brighton


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18. Board Game: Dixit [Average Rating:7.42 Overall Rank:117] [Average Rating:7.42 Unranked]
Len
United States
Austin
Texas
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Dear Flabby,

After my now-Ex-GF and I broke up, we played Dixit once more "for old time's sake". Now I feel a bit awkward and confused, and I'm not sure what to do or say next time I see her.

How should I handle this? Was this a mistake?

Signed,
Torn in Texas
bacon
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19. Board Game: Incursion [Average Rating:7.76 Overall Rank:1762]
David Sims
Australia
Kangaroo Flat
Victoria
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Dear Flabby,

I am fortunate enough to have a very understanding wife who knows that a true man needs a cave, and that every cave needs some man toys. Where is the problem I hear you ask.
The Mother in law is on her way and I don't have the defense to protect the cave from her incursion.
How can I deal with the disapproving frown that can castrate at a hundred paces?
Help, I do not have long.

Kind regards,
Victim in law.
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20. Board Game: Computer Rage [Average Rating:3.90 Unranked]
Dan Mixer
United States
Orrington
Maine
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Dear Flabby,

First time reader, many times writer. My problem is my son. When he was younger, we enjoyed gaming, he even liked A Victory Lost at age 12! However, as he grew older, his interest starting to drift into that dark hell that all teenage boys succumb to in their hormonal driven youth, I am of course referring to...

Computer games.

Now, if I manage to drag him kicking and screaming from the keyboard and put a game in front of him, he just sits there, starring into space, twitching as the seconds go by since his last LCD screen fix.

It's very discouraging, and so I've come up with an idea.

I hear adoption is all the rage. I'm thinking of adopting a kid from a disadvantaged country like Canada, maybe even Rhode Island. The plan is to lock him in his room so that he never see's a computer screen and depends totally on me for entertainment in the form of boardgames.

I'm having trouble with the moral and ethical implications with this, so my question to you is this:

What brand of beer would you recommend that I drink until I'm not bothered by this and just go ahead and set it up?

Needs a Drink in Maine
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21. Board Game: BANG! The Bullet! [Average Rating:7.01 Unranked] [Average Rating:7.01 Unranked]
Kurt Arnold
Canada
Douglas
New Brunswick
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Dear Flabby

For years my wife and I have been satisfied with our weekly two player game. But lately I was pondering exploring trying a three player game and inviting someone new to join us. How do I approach my wife with this? and am I wrong for wanting to expand my game play?

Twos Company in Canada
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22. Board Game: Start Player [Average Rating:6.51 Overall Rank:1795]
Kurt Arnold
Canada
Douglas
New Brunswick
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Dear Flabby,

Thank you for you quick advice. It proved most valuable. My wife totally agreed with your advice.

But last night we had a fight over being first. She was upset that I was always first. I told her it wasn't my fault, we tried everything. It just happens that I always play first. She told me she was tired of playing second and would love to play first for a change.

Help me Flabs, I don't know what to do. I want to spice things up and let her play first but it doesn't seem to be in the cards.

Twos Company in Canada

PS Any advice of getting her to play a second game in one night?
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23. Board Game: My Little Pony Hide & Seek [Average Rating:5.03 Overall Rank:10563]
Robert Mills
United Kingdom
Pontypridd
Rhondda Cynon Taff
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Dear Flabby

I recently fell in love with this game but my fellow BGG'ers fail to see its awesome ness...does that make them haterz?

Should I turn my back on them and therefore never find my gaming geek hottie?

Desperate for pink pony loving chick

R
18 
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