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Geeks Gone Wild >> How To P**s Off Your Favorite Gamer
Jay Little
United States
Eden Prairie
Minnesota
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My tongue is firmly planted in my cheek for this GeekList... Inspired by culls fabulous "You know you're a Game Geek when...." GeekList (found here http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeklist.php3?action=view&listi...) I decided to go another route.

Sure, we now know the crazy foibles and quirks that make gamers so, um... foiblish and quirky. But underneath the calm exterior and gaming-induced catatonia lurks a savage beast waiting to be loosed upon an unsuspecting world. Different stimuli may trigger these beast-loosening episodes... So help me make a lighthearted list of all the ways Geeks get pushed over the edge (or at least to the brink) of sanity itself due to their passion for games and gaming.

What are some fool-proof ways to make your favorite gaming geeks completely wig out?
What's the craziest episode you've personally witnessed?
What gets under your skin worse than anything else in defense of your hobby?
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26. Board Game: Catan [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:161]
Gone Fishing
United States
Unspecified
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After the geek spends about 40 minutes explaining the game, everyone gangs up against the geek and eliminates him or her from the game.

This is classic in conrontational games. "Well, I don't know this other guy to well and don't want to offend him, so I'll screw the rules-bringer instead."

This becomes especially poingant when the geek spent most of the day reading the rules and painstakingly writing notes so he or she can explain it properly.

Luckily, since I mainly stick to the German games, I can't even think of a game for this entry... but I'm sure someone can... so please help me here.

I've gotten screwed with the robber in Settlers as the rules explainer, so it'll have to do as my example.
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27. Board Game: Tongiaki [Average Rating:6.24 Overall Rank:1658]
John Richert
United States
Springboro
Ohio
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You play a game for the first time, and you give it X rating and Y reasons for your rating. Then people ask you how you can be so positive or negative about a game in one playing!

These are usually the same people that have problems when I talk strategy with another one of the players after we play a game!
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28. Board Game: Attack! [Average Rating:5.88 Overall Rank:3346]
Mark Rivera
United Kingdom
Haywards Heath
West Sussex
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Insisting that games like Attack!, Risk, Stratego, Axis & Allies, Memoir 44 are true wargames. War-themed games yes, and fun for some but surely not "real" wargames in terms of conflict simulations.

Alternatively, insisting that they are true wargames.

Ya just can't win.

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29. Board Game: What's Missing? [Average Rating:4.58 Unranked]
Penny
United States
Connecticut
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How about when someone saw you have some game and asks to borrow it. You being nice, lend it to the person, but only to find out, one of the pieces is missing. And worse yet the person said he cannot find it (who knows if he actually did look or not). Now you are 1 peeple short or whatever.
One time, the person lost not just 1, but ALL the pieces to my Fire and Ice. Good thng PIN games replaced them for me. Otherwise I would just end up with 1 board and no pieces. ANother time was 1 meeple missing.
The person still have one of my games now, I hope he doesn't lose any cards. *cross my fingers*
*also hope he isn't looking at this geek list*
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30. Board Game: Columbus Was Wrong [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Penny
United States
Connecticut
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The other thing that I know most people don't like is when one or more player totally dominate the game, either in terms of telling you what to do, or whines that you made a mistake and if you don't what he tells you you are ruining for everyone else's chance to win. (happens in PR a lot). I think it is nice that the person is trying to "help" the inexperienced to play, but life is a learning process, don't get mad at someone because he is doing something you don't want him to do, or take it too personally. =)
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31. Board Game: War of the Ring (first edition) [Average Rating:7.85 Overall Rank:34]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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"And now we can play" "No, Forget it"

Wait for the other guy to setup the whole game and explain all the rules. Then tell them you don't want to play because it sounds boring. Don't offer to clean up. Just walk to another table and try to get in a new game. A variant is after they setup and explain the rules you just hop in to another game after telling them you're going to the bathroom.
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32. Board Game: Ticket to Ride [Average Rating:7.51 Overall Rank:84]
Jenna Sunderlin
United States
Niagara Falls
New York
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Cheat.

Cheat outrageously, shamelessly and constantly. Let the other players catch you at it, give a good natured "oops", then do it again. Make them watch you the entire game, even when it's not your turn. Think you're being funny the whole time.
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33. Board Game: Age of Steam [Average Rating:7.73 Overall Rank:60]
Mark Taraba
United States
Lake in the Hills
Illinois
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All the new players back each other up in support of the wrong rules

After being taught a game for the first time Player X makes a move that's against the rules. Then when the person who taught the game says you can't make that move Player Y jumps in saying that he remembers the rule teacher telling them they could make that move. Don't budge on the point until the rule teacher turns red. As a variant, make up rules and tell the rule teacher they're violating them. Again all the other players support the guy making up the rule.
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34. Board Game: Voltron: Defender of the Universe [Average Rating:2.67 Unranked]
Jenna Sunderlin
United States
Niagara Falls
New York
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Teach them a new game. Play for about an hour, then say, "Oh, I forgot this one rule. See, I can do this, and hey, I win!".

I don't really remember what game this was, had something to do with planets...it was a long long time ago...I still get annoyed thinking about it. He honestly didn't understand why I was upset with him.
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35. Board Game: Advanced Civilization [Average Rating:8.01 Unranked] [Average Rating:8.01 Unranked]
Loris GIANADDA
France
Paris
Ile de France
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Take a veeeery long game. A veeeeeery good one. One that the geeek craves to play. Organize the game. Play it around six hours. Then, have an excuse to quit the game early.
Better if this is just a few turns before the geek wins.

"Oooh, I'm sorry, but I forgot to tell you. I have to leave just now as I promised my mother to sort my socks. Bye!"
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36. Board Game: Advanced Third Reich [Average Rating:6.70 Overall Rank:1793]
Kip Soteres
United States
San Jose
California
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Back in the day, a game geek's studliness was a simple calculation. Take a game geek's favorite game and apply the following:

number of game chits in the game multiplied by number of hexes on the map multiplied by number of pages in the rulebook (including advanced rules and game variants but not scenarios).

Take Advanced Third Reich - as you established your studliness watching your fellow gamers fiddle Russian units on the Eastern Front to maximize an attrition role, you came to dread, and yet also vaguely appreciate and then strangely sympathize with "Shaky Hands Guy."

You couldn't really blame him - it wasn't his fault - and it especially wasn't his fault that shaky hands syndrome got worse when he got excited:

"You've left Paris relatively undefended! What a break! OK, I'm set up a perfect breakthrough opportunity for my armor... chances are pretty good I'll be able to overrun... and France will be mine!!!"

Problem is, the "setting up for the perfect breakthrough" began to resemble Godzilla in Tokyo... stacks of 8... 10... 12... or more units crashing to the board... air units spilling out as far as the Maginot Line. Untold mayhem as Shaky hands tried to pluck that one Axis airborne unit out of his own stack of 14 amidst equally stacked up piles of Allied units.

Ah Shaky Hands man, we miss you.
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37. Board Game: BattleTech [Average Rating:6.91 Overall Rank:661]
John McCoy
United States
Redmond
Washington
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Changing the Rules to Blatantly Favor your Annoying, Whiny, Friends who nevertheless Threaten Violence

Don't you just love sitting down to play with a bunch of strangers and then gradually realizing they're a bunch of jerks?

Years ago, I go to a local con to play a game of Battletech. I realize early on that the particular set-up that the GM has chosen is pretty unbalanced (Clan vs. Inner Sphere straight up, if that means anything to you). But I don't care about being on the weaker team because the GM says we can use our homebrew unit designs, something I've been dying to do.

I come back after lunch and discover that the GM's friend doesn't want to play with homebrew units. He complains loudly and frequently about how he's "hyper," he's on medication, and we'd better not set him off! (I am not making this up.) The GM declares we'll use standard units after all.

So we commence the game. After awhile it becomes apparent that everyone on the superstrong Clan team is friends with the GM. Huh, funny coincidence there, eh? Then one of my teammates makes a lucky shot and destroys one of the Clan units. Hey, maybe we can pull of a huge upset!

Now the player with the destroyed unit declares he's going to switch over to his backup. "Backup?" we say. It turns out everyone on the Clan side had a spare unit thanks to a house rule that the GM neglected to tell all of us about.

"Can we have backup units then?" I ask. Well no, says the GM. We had to specify them before the battle started. It would be unfair to give us backup units now!

That's when I clamly declared that I was going home. The GM's friend (mid 30s, I'd guess), hyper-I'm-on-medication-guy, flys off the handle and comes round the table towards me (17 years old) screaming bloody murder, but is restrained.

I don't play Battletech at cons anymore.

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38. Board Game: Shadows over Camelot [Average Rating:7.16 Overall Rank:254]
Eric Clark
United States
Holyoke
Massachusetts
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Excessive table talk

Yes, board games are a social activity.

Yes, it's good to get in the mood and stay there.

Yes, people are entitled to vocalize their thoughts and have a few laughs.

But.

When there are flippant accusations of treason after every other turn...

When 70% of the lines in Monty Python & the Holy Grail get recited by two or more people at a time and at headache-inducing volumes...

When a game that normally lasts around 90 minutes consumes three hours and change because your fellow players simply will not shut up and PLAY...

...it is time for the group to reassess its gaming habits.


(I hope this doesn't convince everyone to avoid me like the plague at bgg.con; I just like to, you know, play games, and not spend half the day talking about them.)
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39. Board Game: History of the World [Average Rating:7.14 Overall Rank:388]
Tom Grant
United States
Washington
DC
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Trying to use a game to pick up women.

Although I've seen hormonal distraction at the gaming table on rare occasion, the worst ever was a convention game of History of the World. The organizer seemed out of his mind (or his pants) with joy that an attractive woman showed up to play. For the next few hours, he provided constant chatter--all directed at Ms. Gamette--all designed to prove what an amazing master of HotW he really was. Unfortunately, his oily banter slowed the game to a crawl. We finally asked him to please stop talking so that the rest of us could play.

Dammit, I'm not here to perpetuate the species! I'm here to play this game! Where are your priorities, man!
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40. Board Game: A Game of Thrones (first edition) [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:190]
Peter Dahlstrom
United States
Arlington
Virginia
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Decide halfway through that there's no chance of you winning.

State this vigorously. Repeat.

Pay attention to other things. Patterns on wallpaper. Grocery list. Vacations. Completely irrelevant stories.

Engage other players in conversations about these other things.

Point out the completely opposite point of view of two players concerning a highly polarized political issue. Ask 'em questions until they start arguing.


Win the game.

AAAAAAAAAARGH!

(Yes, I know someone who does this.)
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41. Board Game: Civilization [Average Rating:7.53 Overall Rank:133]
Cédric Rothacher
Switzerland
Täuffelen
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have your own goals in a game

This is e very subtle way to ruin a game

I remember we played civilization. My girlfriend was also playing. She decided, that she was not interested in the goals the game gave, but that she simply wanted to bulid a theatre in Jerusalem - nothing else (I didn't know then she doesn't like games) It ruined the game -
so keep to the rules
play correctly
but have your own goals in the game and p*** on the rest
your co-players will turn crazy :-)

(well it's been 15 Years from now - I still love her!)
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42. Board Game: Catan [Average Rating:7.35 Overall Rank:161]
Bill Stripp
United States
Crystal Lake
Illinois
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Proclaim that you have lost the game before the end is decided.

Even worse when you come back to win. This sort of thing has happened to me in varrious games, and I will admit to actually doing it as well. Usually it is preceeded by some element of the game going horribly wrong. It doesn't matter if it's luck, skill, or other player corroberation.

The player gets a distraught look on their face and proclaims that they might as well not play since they have lost already.

Of course, this is a two edged sword. On one side you have a self defeating prophecy which they will then proclaim, "I told you so" if they lost. On the other, you have to bite your tongue if they manage to come back and win.
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43. Board Game: Arkham Horror [Average Rating:7.42 Overall Rank:135] [Average Rating:7.42 Unranked]
David Tolin
United States
Houston
Texas
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"Help" the person explaining the rules by chiming in with something you feel is important, frequently and without much concern for the increasing agitation of the rules teacher.

Really, this could be applied to any game, but I chose Arkham Horror b/c it's one we've played recently and I didn't see it on the list yet.

Anyway, I don't really have a gaming group, exactly. I have a spouse and some friends who occasionally come over to play. One of my friends plays more frequently than the others and constantly does this. He also begins setting up the game if I set it on the table and leave the room to do something before starting the game (which screws things up because I like to setup components as I explain them, to reduce newbie shock).

This may seem like a very anal pet peeve, but the fact is that I buy all of the games, I read all of the instructions, and I explain all of the rules. Every time. I feel that I'm a good rules teacher, and I've reduced most games to a simple introduction that I want to present in a specific order. Nothing--and I mean nothing--raises my ire more than other players jumping in to explain a complex end-game rule when I'm still going over the very basic mechanics of the game.

While teaching a group of new players to play a recent game of Duel of Ages, for example, I was explaining the ranged combat in a very general way. Another player then complicated the discussion by mentioning the bonus for a character from the same age, using the same weapon, on the same age terrain--which happens once in a blue moon, I think. I just can't stand it. I know I'm being unreasonable. But, it's what sets me off.
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44. Board Game: Kremlin [Average Rating:7.03 Overall Rank:570]
Jamie Herbert
United States
Cedar Rapids
Ia
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KEEP A GAME GOING BY IGNORING VICOTRY-

"Gee If I wait to wave we can play out a few more turns and let everyone els enjoy the continuation of a game I can clearly win right now." O.K. If you are that hyped to keep a game going ask if We can all play it again, I have had this happen a few times in Kremlin where a cocky player will refuse to wave, just to keep the game going, or in magic when I have 1 point elft and my opponent is at 20, he'll heal me 5 points just to keep the game up. Give it a rest no one likes to be toyed with if you have beaten me thant kill me but don't spend all night trying to extend the game, geez! Your taking up valuable rematch time!
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45. Board Game: Kremlin [Average Rating:7.03 Overall Rank:570]
Joe Smith
United States
St. George
Kansas
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Being ganged up on by all the other players because your the one that knows how to play the game.

I'm usually the one that is appointed to learn new games and teach to others. A common saying from my wife and my friends are "Get Joe! Joe is the greatest evil!" So I invariably get the robber even when I'm in last place and things like that.

btw, I just used Kremlin because I love that game!
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46. Board Game: Monopoly: Star Wars [Average Rating:4.98 Overall Rank:10999]
Jenna Sunderlin
United States
Niagara Falls
New York
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We went to visit some friends - husband , wife and their young son. The husband proudly shows off his new birthday present, the new limited edition star wars monopoly (yes, I know, but back then I didn't know enough to set them on the right path). When he opens the box, however, all of the cards are missing, as well as a few tokens. We look all over for them, with no luck. It's not until later, after several unsuccessful tries to get a cartoon tape into the VCR that we find all of the missing pieces....

Choking hazard aside, grubby little hands and boardgames just don't mix.
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47. Board Game: Risk [Average Rating:5.59 Overall Rank:9611]
Josh H
United States
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Refuse to make a move until they acquiesce to your (incorrect) rule interpretation.

I was playing a game of Risk with some of my friends during a rare period when we were all on break from our respective colleges. Early in the game, one of my friends decides to invade another of my friends. He declares that he will be rolling three dice, and asks the other if he will be rolling one or two. The other one insists that he will decide after the attacker rolls. They argued about it for over thirty minutes, during which time the other players and I went to the other room to start a movie. We only had one night before some of us would be heading back to school, and we wasted a good portion of it bickering.
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48. Board Game: Bohnanza [Average Rating:7.09 Overall Rank:280]
Mat L. B.
Germany
Eberbach
Baden-Wuerttemberg
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Another player who declared himself familiar with a game but doesn't want to explain the rules himself refuses to play a specific rule you just explained to other new players. He states:

1. He never played it like that before,
2. because it doesn't make any sense,
3. and the specific phrase in the rules can't be interpreted like that. It has to be a misprint.

Arrrgh! Don't wanna be the rules teacher and trying to invent your special house rules? Go to %&#&%$§.
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49. Board Game: Amun-Re [Average Rating:7.38 Overall Rank:173]
Brad Goddard
United States
Unspecified
Unspecified
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"Whats the point, I'm just going to lose"

pulling out any game with a group of gamers and 1 not-so-gamer and hearing a defeatist retort.

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50. Board Game: Dune [Average Rating:7.62 Overall Rank:131]
Joe Everton
United States
Hillsboro
Oregon
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You're playing Dune, and someone manages to pull one of your 20-year-old out-of-print copy's Sardaukar tokens out of a bag of cherry nibs. "How'd that get in there?"

I was kind of shocked -- figured someone must have been pulling my leg. I'm still not sure, though.
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