NOTE - I wrote this article for THIS forum and it was published in a monthly parent magazine on the east coast earlier this year. Hope you enjoy it!
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I became a father last December.
She’s barely eight months old but already I’m planning her initiation into playing board games.
For some reason, most people tend to save playing board games for the occasional snow day or summer thunderstorm, when parents and children find themselves confined together inside their homes. My own wife tends to refrain from the pastime aside from a haphazard bout of Chez Geek [Steve Jackson Games] if we’re traveling on vacation and happened to remember to bring it along.
But what many parents don’t realize is that playing board games with their children on a regular basis, i.e. weekly game night, can set in motion scores of academic, developmental and social benefits, for both the child and the family unit.
In a culture dominated by TIVO, Yahoo instant messaging, cell phones, PS2, and iPods, children today can quite easily turn on and quickly tune out. Penn State psychology professor, Dr. Mark Casteel, commented about the saturation of consumer electronics in the modern American family household, “All of those activities emphasize solitary pursuits that tend to isolate children from their parents (and vice versa). Board games represent a way for parents to interact with their children in a truly social environment. Additionally, although parents might be very actively involved in their children’s lives, especially concerning extracurricular activities, actual leisure time spent with children may well be falling through the cracks.”
It doesn’t rocket science to realize that building a positive and dynamic family environment is as easy as dusting off that favorite old copy of Monopoly [Parker Brothers] and taking some quality leisure time with your child to do what she does best - play!
So between the ages of two and twelve, I plotted out a timeline of six stages from which to help my daughter not only embrace gaming but grow from it. The stages advance in difficulty and are, in chronological order…
Stage 1: Building Blocks of Games (ages 3+)
Stage 2: Decisions, Control & Losing – Oh My! (ages 4-5)
Stage 3: Strategy and Money 101 (ages 6-7)
Stage 4: Tyro’s Test (ages 8-9)
Stage 5: Concentration Corner (ages 10-11)
Stage 6: Free Time Gaming (ages 12+)
Let’s examine the six stages individually.
Stage 1: Building Blocks of Games (ages 3+)
It can be a challenge to build a gaming culture in today’s home often dominated by the TV.
Last year, the University of Michigan published, “On average, kids spend about 20 or more hours each week watching TV, which is more time than is spent in any other activity besides sleeping.” The research findings go on to advise that parents should not “use the TV as a distraction or baby-sitter for preschool children” and that smart alternatives to electronic media stimulation include – you guessed it – “board games.”
This first stage will set the stage that playing games is time to have fun with Daddy and Mommy. I will wholeheartedly subject myself to unending sessions of Candyland [Milton Bradley] and Chutes & Ladders [Milton Bradley] as I know from first hand experience that gaming can strengthen the family unit.
My own father, an avid board game player, spent countless hours teaching my younger brother and me new games - introducing us to the imaginative magic that occurs when the dice are rolled or the spinner is spun. Upon the arrival of the colorful boxes, we would rip apart the cellophane to lay open the board and examine the pieces. During our early childhood, we waited for dad to explain the rules but as we grew older we started to read, curiosity got the best of us and we were soon devouring the directions on our own, later briefly and crudely explaining them to our father as we launched into sessions of Stadium Checkers [Schaper] and Dark Tower [Milton Bradley].
Aside from the family bonding benefits, playing games with my daughter during her toddler phase will encourage the flourish of developmental rewards such as the simple concept of learning to wait her turn. The game board itself, in this stage, will aid us in learning this rule as the flow of the game will be linear – with one basic path to follow. She takes a turn. Now, it’s Daddy’s turn. And on it goes. Or, non-board games like Matching are good exercises with turn taking as she’ll attempt to find a hidden match of two pictures and then I’ll do the same.
Learning to wait your turn, the ultimate gaming law, will help her learn the nuances of fairness and patience for in the wonderful world of board games, everyone gets a chance to play. This isn’t always the fact in the “real world” in which people butt to the front of lines, rudely interrupt, etc. Turn taking boils down to the core building blocks of good manners and basic social etiquette.
Additionally, in this stage, it is important to establish that there is a start and finish to the experience – all based on the rules of play. The “finish” in most board games translates to “who’s the winner?” but during the Building Blocks phase – it’s not important to emphasize competitiveness. In fact, losing can be stressful for toddlers. Early wins will build their confidence. I plan to help my daughter win a few more times than lose as most three year olds are too ego-centric to realize what losing means and may become frustrated. Learning to play more competitively and lose with grace will come in the next phase.
The headline that parents should take away from this introductory phase is that it’s simply a time to pick games based on an easy sequence of turns with the central purpose of establishing the emotional connection that playing games is FUN!
Stage 2: Decisions, Control and Losing – Oh My! (ages 4-5)
A mother of three originally from Baltimore, MD, Jessica Rader, started introducing games to her four year daughter, Elizabeth. “It’s something she can sit down and do with just me and I’ve found that as we play together, the strategy of the game becomes very important to her – she wants to win and beat me!” she laughs.
Jessica is not alone. Board games offer a safe and controlled setting in which to explore critical thinking skills and decision making between parent and child.
On this point, University Games founder, Bob Moog stated, "Social interaction is vital to strong family connections. Families today need more non-stress, non-eating time together. Board games can become the social glue of a family as it is the only activity that allows all members to interact on equal footing.”
My young daughter has the same opportunity as I do to loose or win based on a combination of luck and skill. We are on the same playing field and thus I’ll start to share games that introduce the concept of control and decision making.
Control and decision in a game will translate into grasping (and mastering) the notions of cause and effect as she tests out her critical thinking strategies through finite movement options of the board game pieces. For example, simple games such as Checkers can be taught at this time. She can move forward, but not backward – unless she’s “kinged.” These types of rules give structure yet allow the freedom for the child to make her own decisions on which piece to move.
Additionally, our conversations during this process will help our own bond as we discuss the “what if’s” and “did you see that’s” of game play. The choices for movement are available but not overwhelming, thus building my pre-schooler’s confidence during this stage of development, both for gaming and in life.
Dr. Casteel referenced the research of Lev Vygotsky, “Children construct much of their knowledge about the world through the social interaction that occurs between a more knowledgeable “teacher” (i.e., parent, older peer, brother or sister) and a less-skilled learner (i.e., the child). For instance, a child could learn about counting by rolling dice and moving the required number of moves.”
Other games like Sorry [Parker Brothers], Gnomes [Parker Brothers], and Mastermind [Invicta] are great exercises of this concept. All give the player basic options without too much choice, i.e. in Sorry, my daughter can decide to move one piece into her safe zone or use a different piece on the board to jump my pawn – sending me back to start. What will she decide?
These finite choices will also start to lay the foundation for her personality too – will she become a risk-taker or will she play it safe?
At this same time, it will be wise to introduce card games ala Old Maid and Uno [Mattel] so my daughter learns to “fan a hand.” There’s nothing more frustrating for a child than to not know how to hold 5 to 10 cards in her little hand. Classic card games ranging from Hearts to 500 are wonderful social gathering opportunities for families and will become staples of our family game nights as she grows up. Plus, some of the most unique and exciting games coming out today from independent game companies are card based, e.g. the hilarious Munchkin series [Steve Jackson] or the amazingly illustrated treasure-hunting themed game, “First to Find!” [Solid Wood Productions].
Finally, and most importantly, during this second stage she will also taste the thrill of real competition framed against one of the most important factors of gaming – being a gracious loser and a humble victor. If she doesn’t follow that paramount rule, my daughter will soon find that NO one will want to play games with her.
Stage 3: Strategy and Money 101 (ages 6-7)
By this time, the games we play will offer my daughter further advancement in choices than those found in the previous stage. Mere decisions and control of pieces become more complex and options/choices much greater in number. For example, the move from Checkers to Chess is recommended and should occur at this time, if it hasn’t happened sooner.
Knowing how to combine the immediacy of making a decision for a single piece with the foresight to plan ahead and map out future moves are crucial keystones for strategy 101. Discussing moves and options openly with my daughter in the early matches will help her visualize the unseen futuristic moves, building her eye for planning. How many people start a project (home or professional) without ample planning only to find themselves in a situation in which they yelped, “I wish I would have thought about this more!!”
As a primer for this skill, I intend to get some wear and tear out of my 1979 edition of Stratego [Milton Bradley]. Setting up the initial formation of your force at the onset of the game determines how you approach your opponent from move #1 to the final capture of the flag. As a side theme, my daughter and I can pretend it’s a struggle between the red and blue states if it happens to be an election year too.
Claire S. Green, Executive Director of the Parent’s Choice Foundation echo’s this mantra in the “What’s in a Game” article in which she stated, “Playing games can help develop a child’s ability to think strategically, to see patterns, to focus and to appreciate the value of patience. By playing games and solving puzzles kids learn how much fun it is to exercise their brains.”
Games like 30 Second Mysteries [University Games] or Clue [Parker Brothers] are great additions in this stage as the storytelling components of the who-done-it mystery, in Clue for example, coupled with the competitive edge of racing to be the first to figure out the murder will build my daughter’s deductive reasoning abilities. Clue is really just a mathematical SAT puzzle disguised as a board game – who would have thought Col. Mustard could be so educational?
A sub-layer to this phase is playing games that involve money/currency, i.e. Monopoly [Parker Brothers] and The Game of Life [Milton Bradley]. Many of us have learned some basic financial math during our early experiences with Monopoly. The thrill of trading St. James Place along with $500 cash for Marvin Gardens is a coming-of-age skill every child should master. I’m excited to teach my daughter, “You always buy Boardwalk.”
Stage 4: Tyro’s Test (ages 8-9)
A “tyro” is defined as a “beginner.” By now my daughter will be no stranger to games but here is where I start to incorporate new playing dimensions most commonly found in advanced board games, i.e. multi-piece moves, historical subtexts, or games that don’t look like traditional board games, i.e. non-linear games like the bluff ‘em and bid ‘em Shipwrecked [Out of the Box] or the highly addictive train-building themed game, European Ticket [Days of Wonder].
For instance, I’ll dust off my 1969 mint condition edition of Feudal [3M] for a little chess-like siege and conquest or maybe we’ll launch into a tournament style unopened booster pack showdown of Hero Clix [WizKids]. For an educational/historical flavor, we’ll jump into a round of Past Lives [Avalon Hill] to discover history’s best and worst figures and if there’s time we’ll pick up a quick session of Crisis [Waddingtons Games] to give my pre-adolescent some context to the Cold War and the threat of nuclear world annihilation (this is the talk I get to have with her…Mommy is handling the birds and the bees).
Unfortunately, by this age, many kids today are glued in front of a computer or video game for hours, passively interacting with nothing but themselves and the electronic pulses of a TV screen. I will not allow my child to become “zombieized” in this manner.
In Jay Tietel’s Psychology Today article “Wanna Play”, the video verse board game battle was neatly summarized, “Because they're played on a vertical screen easily seen from only one direction, video games are best played alone…By contrast, traditional games, played over a horizontal board that acts as the hub of attention the way tribal fires did in prehistoric times, don't simply promote interaction, they require it.”
Board games bring families together in a communal rite. They mandate interaction, discussion, laughter and a little friendly competition. For instance, in the school tested Kids Rule [University Games] game, the child player becomes “the parent” and must make critical family decisions. Image the insights both parents and kids will gleam from the discussions during play of this board game.
To support and foster this communal atmosphere, it is also during this phase when I’ll introduce games in which a team/social strategy is necessary to accomplish the objective, i.e. Lord of the Rings [Wizards of the Coast] and Scotland Yard [Milton Bradley]. Working with, not against, other players through mutual planning is a key skill and ability that will help with group projects at school and eventually in brainstorming sessions in her professional life. These types of collaborative games will instill basic cooperation instincts with my child, helping her to become a more social and perhaps even a kinder and more humanistic human being.
Stage 5: Concentration Corner (ages 10-11)
By the time she’s 10, my daughter will be a gaming acolyte.
If you look at the age recommendations found on the box cover of most advanced games, the minimum age limit is either 10 or sometimes 12. These games require two central skills - extended concentration and long-term strategy/planning. And the positive by-products of games that develop these skills are the inevitable discussions and conversations that occur during play.
I look forward to longer game sessions ranging from the heated and secret negations during extended four hour matches of the internationally flavored, Diplomacy [Avalon Hill] to the laugh-filled, quirky game play of Talisman [Games Workshop] and the 1980’s classic, Kings & Things [West End Games] which can last at least two hours.
As my daughter undertakes playing games over a several hour span, the game session itself will translate into practicing extended patience and focus. Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., a child psychiatrist, author and college lecturer (Harvard, Stanford, Columbia) supports this point in his article “Benefits of Board Games” – “Board games can foster the ability to focus and lengthen your child's attention span by encouraging the completion of an exciting, enjoyable game.”
With the A.D.D buzz words floating through the halls of pre-adolescence, these weekly gaming sessions with Daddy during this stage will hone the developing ability to hold concentration during a several hour span. If she can do this at 10 or 11 through the fun of board games, learning the art of “studying” in high school and college will become child’s play.
Stage 6: Free Time Gaming (ages 12-13+)
Sooner than I’m probably comfortable or willing to admit, my daughter will eventually have a life OUTSIDE of our game room. Is that possible?
At this point she’ll be a young lady struggling through the maze of middle school. Instead of Daddy’s all day board game marathons, there will be football games, trips to the Mall, and sleepovers at Molly’s house. So when will we have time for a game?
Being the supportive father I am, I’ll keep an open mind for her expanding social life outside of our home but still introduce games that are quick and easy to learn, yet mind stimulating and strategic along the vein of the puzzle themed, Carcassone [Rio Games].
Or, I can imagine that my wife and I will invite some of her friends over for pizza and a night of classic party games ala Balderdash [The Games Gang], Cranium [Cranium], Catch Phrase [Hasbro], or Scattergories [Milton Bradley]. I can envision my daughter excitingly pulling out her favorite games to introduce to her IM’ing and MTV-saturated pals - causing a revolution for gaming at her school. Okay…one can dream.
20-year-game-store-owner, Brett Stoner of Comic Store West in York, PA aptly summarized the need for parents to get and stay involved, “If board games are to flourish, children must be exposed to non-electronic gaming at an early age. Any game will work. Gaming must be an entertainment choice for the family and there are games for all age and skill levels.”
I have no allusions that my daughter will grow-up following this road-map exactly as I envisioned. She may embrace some games and not others and develop areas of some stages earlier or later than I anticipate. But children learn by watching and emulating their parents (at first anyways) so if at the very least I instill a basic appreciation for board games, I will have achieved one of my parental goals.
My daughter may not want to simulate WWII aerial warfare by playing Luftwaffe [Avalon Hill] with Daddy, but then again, she’s only eight months old right now so I’ll worry about brushing up on my Twiddly Winks first.
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Original Quote Sources:
--Interview with Bob Moog [founder of University Games, San Francisco, CA]
--Interview with Dr. Mark Casteel [Penn State York, Professor of Psychology]
--Interview with Jessica Rader [mother of three from Red Lion, PA]
--Interview with Brett Stoner [game store owner of Comic Book West, York PA]
Supplemental Research Quote Sources:
--Psychology Today. “Wanna Play” by Jay Tietel
--Scholastic. “Benefits of Board Games” by Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D
--Parent’s Choice Foundation. “What’s in a Game?” by Claire S. Green
--University of Michigan. “What do I need to know about children and television?” by Kyla Boyse, R.N., Maia McCuiston, M.D., and Ellen Song, M.D. July 2004
About the Author:
Eric is the VP of Marketing for new card game, "First to Find" [ http://www.ftfcardgame.com]. He's also an avid gamer, husband, father and part-time high school theater director at Red Lion Area School District, Pennsylvania. His reviews, editorials and articles (ranging on topics from ad agency client management to the rise of MP3s to music reviews on indie rock bands) have appeared in Central Penn Parent, Marketing Profs, CRM Guru, Demorama, The Daily, Siren, etc.... When he's not rolling dice or changing his daughter's diaper, he can be found playing guitar or avoiding lawn care. Contributing to this piece is wife, Rebecca. Rebecca is a high school English teacher at Red Lion Area High School and received her Masters in Education from the University of Minnesota.
Posted Mon Sep 4, 2006 6:56 am
