Hello fanboy. I am responding to your post regarding my negative review of your -insert favorite game here-. I understand that you highly value this game and I respect your appreciation for its subtle nuances. I believe that, because I am not attached to this game, I am capable of objectively observing your emotional attachment to this game. I understand that you have incorporated this game into your identity and hold it close to your core beliefs. There there.

When I titled my piece –Your Favorite Game-: A negative review, I wholly understood that you would construe my writing as a personal attack and respond accordingly. This is why I carefully constructed my assertion to delineate the reasons for which I do not find this game compelling, entertaining, or challenging. It is my hope that you will read this and be able to see my side of the argument and be able to respect my dissenting opinion. By rating this game a – rating somewhere between 2 and 6- I hope that you understand that this is, in no way whatsoever, a shill rating. You will note the careful justification in both my review and in my game comments section.

In the event that you do not agree with my argument and logic or believe that my logic is flawed, it is my preference that you engage my argument, civilly. If my logic is flawed or I am playing the game incorrectly, I would appreciate it if you would take me to task gently. Educate me kindly, do not berate me. I am not a bad person for disliking (or misinterpreting the rules to) –the game which you have enshrined in the tabernacle of gaming holiness- nor am I nonsensical for speaking poorly of a game for which you can only think of positives. Actually, do not use the words “nonsense” or “wrong” in your response to my opinion piece at all. It is rude and invalidating and, frankly, beneath you.

I understand that you find my comments inflammatory and infuriating. However, I wonder why. Does my disregard for –your pedestalized ideal of gaming- cause you to question the heights to which you have elevated this game? Does it challenge your most intimate conceptualizations of yourself? Do you feel that if one person speaks negatively about –the game that satisfies your every need- that it invalidates your love for the game or lessens it significantly? If you value my opinion so highly, I would like to recommend that you make an effort to avoid any of my posts that potentially could damage your self-esteem or very identity. If one stranger’s opinion is enough to threaten your love of one game, I suspect that you are already questioning your love for that game.

When writing my negative review about –your most grandiose concrete exemplification of your idealized game- it was my intent to make public the reasons that I do not enjoy it. This, I believe, is for the welfare of the community. Each gamer is unique and has different tastes and if you believe, like I do, that some gamers are like me and some are like you, then there may be a group of people who will not, in fact, enjoy a single session of –the best game since Dune, more classic than Civilization, more elegant than Go and likely to be longer lived-.

My negative review does not demean people who love to play –the game that is your zenith of games- and it does not slander or insult the game designer, publisher, or distributor. I do not question your competence, intelligence, or passion for –the game that towers with ultimate authority over all others, in your opinion-. There is no need for you to engage in personal attacks, no matter how well you know the designer or how involved you were in the play test process.

I am a friendly person. I respond to reasonable requests. I acknowledge when I am wrong. I will defend my opinion as it is the result of personal experience that cannot be duplicated and, therefore, cannot be wrong (or right). And, I will spit fiery vituperation in your face if my friendly, well intentioned negative review that is carefully reasoned and devoid of personal attacks is met with hostility, anger, and/or slander. Though, I am more likely to just flag your comments as inappropriate and ignore you altogether.

Your friend,


-person who has written a negative review-

Amen!

I agree completely.*






*Unless you're talking about Age of Steam.

I'm taking this personally, you asshole.

How DARE you! You obviously aren't smart enough to understand it. It is perfect and subtle in ways that you slope-browed, mouth-breathing, cheeto-fingered masses will never understand or appreciate. My appreciation of it is actually a sign of my intellect and discernment. There are only two kinds of people in the world. Those who get it and idiots like you.

It's perfectly all right. All versions of D&D have sucked and were flawed in their mechanics.

But how do you feel about animeeples?



B>

All I know is I now have a deep desire to go write a negative review of Twilight Struggle.

Nah!

Happy Gaming,

Mike

Every negative review of ((My favorite game)) diminishes my enjoyment of said game, and its expansions. My world gets a little bit smaller and less shiny each time somebody says an unkind word.

It's obvious that you're incapable of percieving the subtleties of ((My favorite game)) due to the fact that ((Your favorite game)) is in your top ten on your profile.

Why don't you leave the rest of us alone, and go back to playing with your (Choose whichever applies best)

[] Meeples
[] Buckets of dice
[] Card drafting and hand management
[] Wooden cubes
[] Warhammer figures
[] Pokemon cards
[] Self

Sincerely,
(Check one)

[] Guy you've never heard of.
[] Someone you thought was cool until now.
[] The local threadcrapper.
[] One of your buddies playing an inside joke.
[] Your stalker.
[] The guy you thought was banned, but he's not.
[] Guy who rated all of you favorite games a "1" in retaliation.

I read the first paragraph and made a choice: I could either finish reading the post or I could save time, hit "reply" now and tell you how wrong you are...

To the OP - well said.

Oh crap, I always forget something. I was going to talk about distancing language. I may go back and add that in later.