I Furunkulus (famous monster from game hits such as Fearsome Floors, Fiji (my shrunken head only), and Formidable Foes) decided it is time to tell the foreigners (you) what I think of Fearsome Floors.

The Overview:

Prince Fieso (my boss) has a castle in which the frightened foreigners (you) are trying to escape from. So Fieso has me (Furunkulus) run around trying to kill you (the foreigners). Prince Fieso being a nice boss lets you (the foreigners) choose your destruction and build me (Frunkulus) from a variety of body parts. This might remind you of Ghostbusters When the Ghostbusters got to choose the form of their destructor; which was Mr. Stay Puff the marshmallow man. The difference being that the Ghostbusters won, you will lose. If you win Fieso throws fire at me and fire bad, YEEEERGH ARGH!!!!

The Components:

Furunkulus likes the components.

The box looks very nice and has a picture of me hunting down a foreigner (I look very handsome in picture). It looks like a comic book which Furunkulus likes.

The board is of Prince Fieso’s castle and looks very pretty except for when it is on fire and I hate fire because fire bad, YEEEERGH ARGH!!!!

The game also comes with sturdy cardboard obstacles like stones, teleporters, crystals, and blood pools. Furunkulus likes blood pools because Furunkulus feet are too big for skates and I can slip and slide in blood pools. The foreigners also slide in blood pools and look funny before Furunkulus eats them.

There are cardboard tombstones that tell Furunkulus how far he can move.

There is a starting player tile that is Furunkulus (me) staring at you the feeble foreigners.

There is no fire in the game because fire bad, YEEEERGH ARGH!!!!

There are the wooden discs that you put the stickers of the frightened foreigners (you) on. There are numbers on them that tell you how far you can move. Ha! Furunkulus gets tombstones and you get pansy little stickers. No matter all foreigners taste the same and look scared.

The most important part of the game is the Furunkulus body parts that you get to build me out of. This is Furunkulus favorite part of the game besides eating the foreigners. I don’t like the fleshy colored body so much because it makes it look like Furunkulus not wearing pants, and the eye head with the top hat is kind of itchy. But all Furunkulus body parts look nice because Furunkulus is handsome; Prince Fieso tells me so.

As a bonus you get stickers of Friedman Friese and Maura Kalusky. Friedman designs game and Maura draws Furunkulus and make Furunkulus look handsome. You can use these two as foreigners too. Now isn't that nice.

All components are very sturdy and nice. Furunkulus enjoy components of the game especially the Blood pools and Furunkulus body parts. The foreigners all taste very good. I give the components a score of five dead foreigners out of a possible five.

Game Play:

You (the foreigners) take turns moving your pieces through the castle. You can move by how many spaces it tells you on the sticker on your playing figures. You can push stones and slip through blood pools. Ha, slipping and sliding foreigners are funny. When you have moved you turn your disk over and the other side tells you how far you can move the next time. The sum of the numbers on both sides of all the foreigners is 7; Prince Fieso tell me that because Furunkulus bad at math. Sometimes foreigners can move far like five, but then are turned over an can move only 2. Other foreigners move different amounts but all add up to seven on both sides of the player discs. Furunkulus likes when the foreigners don’t move so much. Furunkulus really likes when foreigners no longer move at all (that means I am eating the foreigners). Blood pools only cost one movement to slide through because, duh your sliding not running away Furunkulus may not be smart but even Furunkulus know that.

After foreigners have moved you turn over a tombstone and Furunkulus moves. I keep going strait until whenever I see a foreigner and then turn and go for the closest foreigner. I can’t see behind me because Furunkulus can only turn Furunkulus head left or right Furunkulus head can’t turn around behind Furunkulus because if it did Fieso said Furunkulus would be broken and not move anymore, and it is the foreigners that are not supposed to get broken not Furunkulus. Furunkulus always turns toward closest foreigner. If Furunkulus finds a foreigner Furunkulus eats foreigner. This is Furunkulus favorite part of the game. As you can tell Furunkulus has lots of favorite parts to this game, Feasome Floors, which has me Furunkulus in it....errr what was I saying, oh yeah, fire bad YEEERGH ARGH!!!! If tombstone gets turned over that has one or two crosses on it Furunkulus keeps going until Furunkulus kills the same amount of foreigners or Furunkulus has moved 20 spaces.

Furunkulus also forgot, players and furunkulus only move orith..ortho...ortha.. dang it! Furunkulus and foreigners only move left right or up and down; no one moves diagonally. I saw Prince Fieso move diagonally once but he is not in the game so none of you foreigners can move diagonally.

Furunkulus movement is affected by teleporters which duh; teleports me to the other teleporter. Foreigners can’t use teleporters, Furunkulus don’t know why but they just can’t. Foreigners are also not allowed to have pitch forks or fire, fire bad, YEEEERGH ARGH!!!! This is not covered in the rules but Furunkulus thought you ought to know this anyway. Foreigners also should have in their pockets mustard and mayonnaise since it makes foreigners taste better to Furunkulus. This also not in the rules but take Furunkulus word for it and just do it. Don’t eat the other foreigners, that is my job. Furunkulus got side tracked what were we talking about again?

There are stones that turn Furunkulus and ones that turn me around. The other stones I just push along because Furunkulus is strong. Foreigners can be crushed by stones if pinned between the stones and a wall..

There are also clear stones that Furunkulus can see foreigners through and can also crush foreigners against walls. Furunkulus likes to do this because Prince Fieso has no paintings and blood splatters are perty like flowers.

If Furunkulus runs into a wall, Furunkulus reappears coming out of another wall with the matching letter. Fieso says this is a secret door, Furunkulus say it is powerful magic. Foreigners are more afraid if it’s powerful magic so Furunkulus like that better.

There are two stages of the game. The first stage dead foreigners come back so Furunkulus can kill them again. Stage two begins when the second to the last monster movement tombstone is drawn, then all of the monster movement tiles are reshuffled and a new draw pile is formed. Foreigners now eaten stay eaten, they are no more, if Furunkulus gets them they cease to be, they are permanently eaten, death is now a permanent thing. If you go through the monster movement tombstones down to all but the last one this time, all of the foreigners still in the castle are brutally eaten by me Furunkulus. Cheers, Furunkulus and Fieso rejoice. Much joy with the eating of all of the foreigners, happy times indeed.

The game is over in several ways. The first way as already mentioned is when the next to the last monster movement tile is drawn, then the winner is the one who moved the most of their foolish foreigners out of Master Fieso’s castle.

Or if all the foreigners have been eaten and all that remain are the few frightened foreigners that managed to escape. In both these cases whoever has the most foreigners that escaped wins, if there is a tie the person who got his foreigners out of the castle first is the winner.

Or when a player gets all but one of his figures out of the castle they are declared the winner. This won’t happen because Furunkulus will not allow it. If this happens Fieso lights Furunkulus on fire and fire bad YEEERGH ARGH!!!!

Closing Bite....err I mean thoughts:

Furunkulus gives the game a five dead foreigners out of a possible five, unless the foreigners escape then the game gets a one dead foreigner out of five and Furunkulus gets fire thrown at him by Fieso and fire bad YEEEERGH ARGH!!!!

Furunkulus say buy this game or be eaten. If you want Furunkulus point of view on other games please tell Furunkulus. Furunkulus giant sausage sized fingers do not type very well but I can get a foreigner to do it for me if I threaten to eat them. Just remember fire bad YEEERGH ARGH!!!!

Pssst: Don’t tell Lord Fieso I was using his Compu...Putr...dang it! his magic devise of tubes and wires or he will get very angry and light me on fire, fire bad YEEERGH ARGH!!!!