Christian Moura
Australia
Melbourne
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Nearly 15 years ago, Car Wars was a favourite game of a group of friends back in Brasilia, Brazil. We kept pilot rankings, and even produced 5 editions of "From the Line of Fire", a fanzine with interviews, gossip and reports on the many arenas fought. This is a translation of one of these reports I wrote on a session in 1996.
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Special report from guest writer and retired BADA (Brasilia Auto Duelling Association) pilot, Menelau.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
After long holidays cruising the Caribbean (scrubbing decks), I am back in the BADA offices to report on one of it's most sensational races ever:
*** EXFOLIARIS VII - DEATH WEARS A CONCRETE CAPE ***
In a break from traditional arena combat, we have here an authentic test of speed and survival. Bringing in Division 25 vehicles, our heroic pilots signed up for an event where speed was just as important as hot lead.
In the anthological racing track of Exfoliaris VII, modified into an oval circuit, this event consisted of a 4 lap race, with points being awarded for completed laps and kills.
Weapons were banned from being used until a pilot completed the first lap - a truce of sorts to guarantee that when firing commenced, deaths would be at spectacular speeds.
Division 25 means money. Tons of it. Powerful engines, expensive chassis, and naturally, as per the recent BADA 'Edict of Chicao', all metal armour was banned.
Our speed junkies volunteer pilots for this race were Kato Peblas, Mad Banger XVIII, Rodolfo Zunnn, Natanael Jhonson and Cockrane.
Mad Banger XVIII, still shaken by recent accusations of fraud, passive corruption and identity fraud; picked for this race an ultra fast and high torque dragster. Dismissing weaponry altogether, MB8 also decided to forego *all* armour. This fact generated great controversy, with half of he public testifying that this was in fact proof that the pilot was indeed a genuine member of the Mad Banger Clan, while the other half accusing notorious top ranked BADA pilot Skull, this MB's mentor, of deliberately confusing the media by forcing the alleged Mad Banger impersonator to drive a vehicle suited to the suicidal and masochistic instincts of a real MB.
Kato Peblas, to the surprise of many attending celebrities, picked a much cheaper chassis than those of the other racers - a mid-sized six-wheeled car known as "Catherine, The Slut". Savings on the chassis afforded heavy spending on plastic armour and on a turreted Vulcan machine gun, which inspired panic in other pilots when the car first made it's way out of the boxes to the grid. No doubt Kato relied on the age-old adage that "a dead driver is easier to overtake".
Cockrane in turn chose a Sprint. With a fast engine and great acceleration, he put more trust in his ability as a pilot than his proficiency in gunfire, while still picking a modest rear mounted flame thrower for his vehicle. "You have to show cojones to ride in my slipstream!"
Natanael was another to spend freely on his chassis. Deciding on the stability of a Formula 1, he added two explosive spike dispensers as a defensive measure. Even though not having the best of acceleration, being the equal of Pebla's car, he had the highest top speed.
Finally, the biggest sensation of all was in newcomer's Rodolfo choice: A motorcycle! That is absolutely right, gentlemen, a racing bike in Division 25! With ample funds available for gadgets, Zunnn arrived with active suspension, shock absorbers, dual flechette guns, a high definition targeting computer, and manually wielding a laser rifle.
With the green lights lit, Peblas ignited rocket boosters to leap ahead of the pack. Right behind him, "Lady Laura", Mad Banger's dragster, moved in and soon overtook Peblas for the first position, given her tremendous acceleration.
While the dragster increased it's lead, Peblas maintained the second position, with Rodolfo Zunn and Cockrane in his wake - N. Jhonson holding the rear with his lesser acceleration. The event started without any major incidents, until Mad Banger crossed the line to complete the first lap and decree the start of the hunting season.
At this stage, Cockrane saw himself sandwiched by Peblas and Zunnn, both of whom did not hesitate to open fire on his tyres. Zunnn quickly proved a tenacious pilot, and repeatedly hit the pilot's tyres with his flechettes, with some assistance of Kato's turreted Vulcan. Cockrane, despairing that his flame thrower had proved useless, lined up next to Kato.
Feeling that his seconds were numbered, Cockrane decided on a last bold manoeuvre, even if it was a suicidal one - "I may be gone, but I won't go alone" - in an attempt to swing and slam his car into Catherine, The Slut, he swerved into a right angle, but failed to keep control of his Sprint, and was catapulted forward.
The crowd was awestruck and exultant, and witnessed Cock's car vault towards the wall at 180mph. Fractions of a second later, Cockrane, the Sprint and 12 spectators were no more - just unrecognisable wreckage of the car and the pilot who in solidarity joined it in eternal rest.
With one less contestant, the other pilots still had only completed one of the four laps. Natanael, still holding the last spot, was content in laying out a decorative pattern of explosive spikes to welcome the lapping MB8, who had surged well ahead of the pack.
The main duelling was left to Peblas and Zunnn, the later holding a gradual advantage over the criss-crossing firing at each other's tyres.
Mad Banger at the wheel of Lady Laura did not take long to reach Natanael's spikes, and tried to simply slam past then. He was successful, well, at least when it comes to the 'slam' - losing a tyre, he failed to take a corner, and at 210mph his ultimate adversary, the victorious concrete wall was merciless. Another couple of tons of debris showered the tarmac.
Meanwhile, the personal duel between Kato and Rodolfo surged on to another spectacular ending - having difficulties in targeting Zunnn's bike, Rodolfo made full use of his ammo and hi-res computer. Taking out 2 of Kato's wheels, here was another pilot who sped to the embrace of the crimson stained concrete.
At this stage it was Rodolfo and NJ alone on the track, with the Formula 1 car making use of it's excellent top speed and gradually closing in on the bike. Arriving at the second last corner of the last lap, both pilots kept the pedal to the metal. Practically tied for points, the one to first cross the finish line would win the event.
Natanale Jhonson and Rodolfo saw the last corner quickly approach. Still littered with explosive spikes and Peblas and Banger's wrecks, Natanael did not have enough reaction time to avoid the debris. The result you might have anticipated - the F1 vaulting and rolling to the cement's calloused embrace. The 210mph were but icing on the steel, blood and fiery spectacle that clouded the skies of Exfoliaris VII.
With Zunnn needing simply to cross the finish line with his amazing bike to take it, we were not yet done with our excitement. Despite shock absorbers with allowed him to ignore the debris, Rodolfo was still met with the explosive spike menace. No sweat. Simple matter of a deft swerve and a salute to the waiting chequered flag. In theory. Maybe due to Zunnn's incredible speed, the sequence of turns and swerves, or the emotion of finishing first, Rodolfo took a turn ... but failed to keep it in control. Even seeing the bike cross the finish line, the crowd in a deafening silence gaped as the bike spun across the entire main stretch, with Zunnn having little say in the matter. Fans still held their breath as the bike spun and spun ever closer to the walls, in a speed that could be naught but fatal. Once more proving his courage, Zunnn kicked back and jumped from the bike, falling on the tarmac. The thousands in the crowd on their feet, applaud. Alas these races do not always finish in happy fairy tale endings, and it was the smile of a another corpse that greeted the burst of joy and exhilaration of the crowd's last ovation.
It was with a empty podium that Exfoliaris VII engraved Rodolfo Zunnn's name as the victor.
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Thanks to:
Paulo Muller (Rodolfo Zunnn)
Giuliano Iemini (Cockrane)
Lucas Raw (Mad Banger VIII)
Fernand Bandeira (Natanael Jhonson)
good times,
Christian (Kato Peblas)
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Fernando Kornijezuk
Brazil
Brasilia
DF
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Unforgettable - I wish we still had copies of all the FTLoF issues.
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I can't beleive people were playing this game in Brazil way back when......unreal.
Even today I hear about people playing in the UK, Europe, OZ, and places here and there in the USA.
Great writeup.......you have a knack for writing this stuff.......I really got the feel of mass speed going on.
Cheers!
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Great fun!!! Mad Banger's strategy was the way to go, can't understand where it derailed!!!!
Let's set a "racing" season this summer, when you are here.
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Posted Fri Oct 9, 2009 1:14 am
