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Ben Lott
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I'm starting the new one while voting is still going on for the prior one so that we can keep things moving.

#4. What happened when a Teapot went on a blind date with a Used Car Salesman?

You can also play along on the new geeklist I just started up to get a little more buzz and votes: Why Did the Chicken...? (Geekgold prizes available)
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howl hollow howl
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Guantanamo wrote:
So has the interest already died down, or were everyone as 'blocked' as I was on this one?

I suspect six people got stuck and all submitted "Post-It Notes".
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howl hollow howl
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Did you get sufficient responses for #4?
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Ben Lott
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Dave won Question #3. And I guess the geeklist helped build interest. Look at all the entries this time:

Poll
What happened when a Teapot went on a blind date with a Used Car Salesman?

Note: Vote for your 2 favorite answers.
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
The teapot cracked up
3.7% 1
First the used car sales man started blowing smoke up the teapot's spout and then things got steamy.
0.0% 0
Well, the date seemed fine enough. But, the teapot's mother kicked her out of the house when she discovered that her daughter let the used car salesman put his Folger's in her.
3.7% 1
The price was too steep and they became bitter.
11.1% 3
He responded to her whistle by trying to look under her hood.
11.1% 3
He ended up selling her a Tempest.
33.3% 9
It got stuck with a lemon.
11.1% 3
The teapot got steamed when the salesman brought in his manager to "close the deal."
7.4% 2
They found their definitions of 'teabagging' were somewhat different...
11.1% 3
They both decided not to let Stephen Wright fix them up anymore."
3.7% 1
They steamed up all the windshields!
7.4% 2
The teapot became convinced he should drink coffee and needed undercoating.
0.0% 0
He got an iced tea and she got a lemon.
18.5% 5
The teapot: "You think I'm not aerodynamically correct? I bag to differ!"
0.0% 0
It didn't go well. The Used Car Salesman thought he was getting a T-Bird, not a T-pot.
3.7% 1
A one night thstand, of courthe. Tea pot out.
11.1% 3
SALESMAN: What is your favorite movie? TEAPOT: E Tea SALESMAN: I just noticed your huge nose!! Is this your nose??? I thought you were eating a banana!!
3.7% 1
Nothing! He didn't believe her when she said she wasn't pre-used.
0.0% 0
Lies abound on the black market.
3.7% 1
No, no, no don't fill that in there. Do.
0.0% 0
He tried to sell her a Model-T. She tried to sell him some pot.
3.7% 1
The teapot got traded-in for a coffee maker.
7.4% 2
The teapot got all hot and steamed up, so the salesman took her for a test drive, if you know what I mean.
11.1% 3
She had to be sold on it.
0.0% 0
She showed him her handle and her spout.
0.0% 0
Voters 27
This poll is now closed.   27 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Thu Feb 4, 2010 6:00 am
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Ben Lott
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And question #5 is posted:

#5. Why is an Absent-Minded Professor afraid of Fire?
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howl hollow howl
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Quote:
Look at all the entries this time:


Wow!*

I never heard of Ford Tempest before. Oh well, it was a good run... laugh


* as in, no mention of Post-It notes
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Ben Lott
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Dave wrote:
* as in, no mention of Post-It notes

I'm sure it will pop up again
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howl hollow howl
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Blott wrote:
Dave wrote:
* as in, no mention of Post-It notes

I'm sure it will pop up again

One might think you rigged question #5 just to ensure it... ninja
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Mike Jones
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I was looking at all the entries and wondering if all the 'new blood' really helped the problem or just 'spread it out'

Well, the more the better, anyway.
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howl hollow howl
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Guantanamo wrote:
I was looking at all the entries and wondering if all the 'new blood' really helped the problem or just 'spread it out'

I'll reserve my judgment until I see who submitted the winning answer.
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Ben Lott
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Poll
#5. Why is an Absent-Minded Professor afraid of Fire?

(Vote for your 2 favorite answers.)
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
He's getting in touch with his "inner cave-man".
4.0% 1
You might be surprised how easy it is to just wander into a war zone.
12.0% 3
Because the ionic coefficient clearly has to equal the cube root of the... wait, do you smell something burning?
40.0% 10
If he's got tenure, he's not; he's only afraid of premature emeritus.
4.0% 1
'Cause of the time Trogdor burninated the lab in Intro Chem.
12.0% 3
Post-its! Post-its!
8.0% 2
It might just light up his memory.
4.0% 1
Because his wife will be mad at him for leaving the stove on and burning down another house.
4.0% 1
If a Fire Elemental could take down his 19th-level Dwarven Fighter equipped with a Shield of Protection, imagine what it could do to him. He's not even sure if he owns a shield.
16.0% 4
He was a mummy.
0.0% 0
Because if he wasn't, he'd have burned down his whole neighborhood by now.
4.0% 1
Little known fact: Flubber is flammable.
12.0% 3
He got his Bunsen burned.
20.0% 5
Because his ''absinthe'' mind is so so flammable!
20.0% 5
He's had a phobia ever since his flying Model T overheated.
4.0% 1
Voters 25
This poll is now closed.   25 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Fri Feb 5, 2010 6:00 am
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#6. Why does the Neighborhood Bully want to be a Chimpanzee?
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Poll
#6. Why does the Neighborhood Bully want to be a Chimpanzee?

(Vote for your 2 favorite answers.)
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
He wouldn't be sitting in the school psychologist's office for flinging his own feces.
17.6% 3
He always wanted to become a ''sir''. And then he heard a joke:what do you call a 800 killo chimp??...SIR!!
5.9% 1
For the STR, DEX, INT, and CHA boosts
5.9% 1
He'd like to pick on fleas for a change.
11.8% 2
For extra poop flinging ability.
0.0% 0
Cause Chimpanzee's are total jerks.
17.6% 3
He was hoping to move UP the evolutionary ladder.
52.9% 9
So he could go ape on that weird kid next door.
35.3% 6
Because he wasn't monkeying around.
5.9% 1
Because the most extreme bullying technique would be to fling his poop.
5.9% 1
Post-it Notes
5.9% 1
Voters 17
This poll is now closed.   17 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Sat Feb 6, 2010 6:00 am
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#7. Why did a Bumblebee go to heaven and a Lawyer go to hell?
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Poll
#7. Why did a Bumblebee go to heaven and a Lawyer go to hell?

(Vote for your 2 favorite answers)
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
Because they both did their jobs VERY well!
25.0% 5
Well, duh.
15.0% 3
Because the bee stung the lawyer
10.0% 2
It was the bee's just reward for stinging the allergic lawyer who went to hell for being a lawyer. You didn't see that one coming, did you? Nobody else will do the 'lawyers go to hell automatically' bit. I'm a genius. This is getting a bit wordy. I should end it. Nah. Screw it. I'm gonna write the longest punchline in the history of Why Did The Chicken? It'll be the longest punchline in the history of jokes! It's going to be so long that it won't fit in a poll!! No one will vote for any other punchline because all they'll be able to see is my massive block of text!!! It'll have its own gravitational field!!!! Light won't be able to escape!!!!! Oh, wait. What if Ben throws it out because it's too long? Then I won't be able to win fabulous geekgold prizes! My empire will collapse!! My children will starve!!! Mankind will be thrust into an age of darkness!!!! Won't someone think of the children?!?!?!?!?! SCREW YOU GAMES WORKSHOP!!!!!!
15.0% 3
Isn't that sooo obvious?
5.0% 1
Because the bumblebee wasn't a jackass.
10.0% 2
Bees make honey and lawyers are lawyers.
25.0% 5
One turns pollen on bushes into honey, while the other turns fallin' on tushes into money.
40.0% 8
The bumblebee screwed pansies, while the lawyer screwed patsies.
10.0% 2
Post-It Notes
15.0% 3
Voters 20
This poll is now closed.   20 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Tue Feb 9, 2010 6:00 am
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#8. What do a Bus and a Teddy Bear have in common?
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#8. What do a Bus and a Teddy Bear have in common?

(Vote for your 2 favorite answers.)
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
Why, the soft and comfortable cozy feeling you get, of course.
5.0% 1
Both are filled with stuff and squirt Pooh into the air.
10.0% 2
The letter 'B'.
30.0% 6
Both smell of children's puke.
30.0% 6
Post-It Notes.
15.0% 3
Setting either one on fire will make children cry.
35.0% 7
Both must come to a complete stop before crossing a railroad track.
20.0% 4
Small children can often be found inside of both.
20.0% 4
Voters 20
This poll is now closed.   20 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Wed Feb 10, 2010 6:00 am
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#9. What happened at the wedding of a Computer and a Vegetarian?
 
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Poll
#9. What happened at the wedding of a Computer and a Vegetarian?

(Vote for your 2 favorite answers)
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
It was filled with Chips and Dips.
31.2% 5
The Vegetarian became a widow, when she ate the Apple.
12.5% 2
Bill Gates crashed it.
12.5% 2
They lived happily ever after.
0.0% 0
The computer was found to contain great quantities of vegetable porn.
12.5% 2
Core dump.
6.2% 1
All the guests were Apples.
18.8% 3
There was no small amount of controversy about serving apples at the reception.
12.5% 2
"I now pronouce you man and wifi."
43.8% 7
They had a byte of each other's Apples.
18.8% 3
I don't know! Why do you think I asked?
0.0% 0
Despite the vegetarian's assurances during the wedding reception that, yes, she *would* like to eat an apple tonight, the honeymoon ended early when she flat-out refused to put a mouse in her mouth.
25.0% 4
Post-It Notes
0.0% 0
Voters 16
This poll is now closed.   16 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Thu Feb 11, 2010 6:00 am
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Oops, I completely forgot to post this here:

#10. What do you get when you cross a Lumberjack with a Clown?
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#10. What do you get when you cross a Lumberjack with a Clown?

(Vote for your 2 favorite answers)
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK." Honk. Honk.
38.9% 7
Bozo Chainsaw Massacre
22.2% 4
Nightmares.
33.3% 6
You get the Clown's age by counting his rings.
27.8% 5
I just feel sorry for the clown that has to wear the tree costume.
5.6% 1
Something more scary then can be imagined!
5.6% 1
Two halves of a clown
16.7% 3
A flannel clad bozo that can pack 400 logs into one truck.
33.3% 6
Post-It Notes
0.0% 0
Voters 18
This poll is now closed.   18 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:00 am
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#11. What happened when a Cow turned into a Tapeworm?
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#11. What happened when a Cow turned into a Tapeworm?

(Vote for your 2 favorite answers.)
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
Talk about red meat in your colon.
15.8% 3
The cow got a ticket for reckless driving.
5.3% 1
The bell kept getting stuck.
10.5% 2
The wizard that cast the spell said "Now why did I do that?"
0.0% 0
Anyone seen the failed experiment on the monkey in the movie "The Fly"? That's what happened, the cow is now inside the tapeworm.
5.3% 1
It became an udderly ridiculous parasite.
63.2% 12
Franz Kafka's writing career started to decline.
15.8% 3
She shit herself.
10.5% 2
The shattering of my hopes and dreams.
5.3% 1
Post-it Notes became an invalid punchline.
26.3% 5
Voters 19
This poll is now closed.   19 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Sat Feb 13, 2010 6:00 am
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#12. What did an Astronaut say to Glue?
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#12. What did an Astronaut say to Glue?

(Vote for your 2 favorite answers)
  Your Answer   Vote Percent Vote Count
"Glue, you have the strangest name of anyone at Ground Control."
17.6% 3
"Stick with me baby, and I'll take you to the moon!"
41.2% 7
"Hey, you look a lot like a beaver I once met."
5.9% 1
"What would happen if you got stuck on Uranus?"
5.9% 1
"You stick around here while I land on the moon"
0.0% 0
"Damn you! Now keep those heat-absorbing tiles ON THE #@&%ING SHUTTLE!"
17.6% 3
"You stick around here and I'll get the sweets."
5.9% 1
"No thanks. I'm feeling high on my own."
11.8% 2
"Glue-ston we have a problem."
41.2% 7
"In space no one can hear you huff."
17.6% 3
Voters 17
This poll is now closed.   17 answers
Poll created by Blott
Closes: Mon Feb 15, 2010 6:00 am
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