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BoardGameGeek» Forums » Gaming Related » Women and Gaming

Subject: Female awareness warning rss

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Johan Haglert
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Joe Cool wrote:
Also flirting does not necessarily mean actively looking for a sexual mate.....
And even if it was try to stop that from ever happening ...
 
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Dale Moore
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LauLau wrote:
That's how you feel about it and that's fine, however I prefer to be more explicit with my intentions. Friends means friends. There are dating sites for the intention of flirting, no?
I assume people are on here because of boardgames not to achieve gratification in other respects, but that's just me. Maybe I'm naive.


A little Naive.

If we are just here for board games why would you even be looking for friends. There's Facebook for that.


I'm lucky and my wife grew into board gaming with me. I'm curious if there are anybody here that met, fell in love and got married though boardgamegeek.
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Faye Holliday

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theTak wrote:
Yeah what the rest of everybody said.

Or just give everyone his name and the rest of us'll beat 'im up, 'cause that's how we do. We hart our BGG ladies and will totally go all white-knight 'n' stuff. :brofist:


EDIT: JUST BECAUSE it sometimes get lost when involving me + words, this post is an attempt at levity, perhaps even humor. Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff!


Thumbed because I completely imagined your avatar saying what you posted
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Stew Woods
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I bet it was Ameritrashers ninja
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LauLau J
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Hello everyone.
Thanks for thoughts and opinions.
I think I will just steer clear of in game chat and find another way of playing games with people I feel comfortable with.
And that's the point, right? Being able to enjoy playing board games
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It's just a ride...
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I'm aware of females, but thanks for the heads up.
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Derry Salewski
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Shauneroo wrote:
I'm aware of females, but thanks for the heads up.


WTF. Seriously? Just because you're aware of them doesn't mean she shouldn't post things like this.

I, for one, was never aware of such a thing.

I have since corrected this lack of awareness and signed up for a gamecenter account.
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LauLau J
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Shauneroo wrote:
I'm aware of females, but thanks for the heads up.

LOL

Seriously though, I'm a mum that doesn't go out partying and wants something more interesting to do in the evenings than stare at a tv. I study also.
None of my current friends play boardgames and I can't just go out on a whim. And I'm certainly not inviting anyone to my home!
Oh well *shrug*

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jood shine
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thankyou lau lau i hope you felt validated.
i dont know why mostly men have to come and question and debate and question what you said..it should be enough that you shared your experience.period.
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Paul Brillantes
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One last tour here on the Death Star and I can retire. What was that noise?!
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Perhaps it is because this site is apparently mostly men. Some may have posted to debate but it seems that some also posted because they may not understand what the situation was and are hoping for clarification.

I will not be reading any more of this thread since it seems I am not welcome here.
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Derry Salewski
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jood wrote:
thankyou lau lau i hope you felt validated.
i dont know why mostly men have to come and question and debate and question what you said..it should be enough that you shared your experience.period.


It shouldn't be too much to ask for the experience to be coherently shared, however!

God forbid people talk about it . . . on a forum . . . where it was shared . . .
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Johan Haglert
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jood wrote:
thankyou lau lau i hope you felt validated.
i dont know why mostly men have to come and question and debate and question what you said..it should be enough that you shared your experience.period.
There's blogs for useless unquestioned (unnoticed?) experiences and thoughts.
 
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Dale Moore
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jood wrote:
thankyou lau lau i hope you felt validated.
i dont know why mostly men have to come and question and debate and question what you said..it should be enough that you shared your experience.period.


when I read the post I noticed a little link that said reply. Then I saw that I could QuickReply.
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LauLau J
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aliquis wrote:
jood wrote:
thankyou lau lau i hope you felt validated.
i dont know why mostly men have to come and question and debate and question what you said..it should be enough that you shared your experience.period.
There's blogs for useless unquestioned (unnoticed?) experiences and thoughts.


Shall I start a blog "experiences of a woman whom wants to play board games but gets hit on instead"?
No, thats lame. I think a thread as a reminder, acceptance of the responses, acknowledgement of my experience and hopefully the odd woman comforted if there's a shared experience too is sufficient. (I hope).
Thanks for the reassurance Jood, very much appreciated.
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Victoria Osborne
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whenever i get some jerk hitting on me, in the internet in a place of my interest, which sadly happens a lot, i say, I am fat ugly and nearly 50. It shuts them up.
Mostly though i just ignore them. Of course i run a literary weekly newspaper in second life in., of all of the god forsakken places, Gor. shudders so i get a LOT of men hitting on me. I just have learned to neatly side step them. I simply do not even let it bother me and i laugh at them if they call themselves Gorean IRL. then ask where i can send the FBI. Being hit on by jerks, most of them are so pathetic they can not even be called predators, is part and parcel for the internet especially in these unbalanced areas of interest.
but remember ladies, if a man wanders into a forum or an area of interest that is dominated by women, after she has established he is not Gay, they actually get persued more aggresivvely than the men of this site ever persue us women. there are ways from hitting the ignore button, to just laughing at him for anyone to not have to deal with unwanted attention.
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JessA
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LauLau wrote:
Just wanted to remind the other ladies (although apologies if I insult your intelligence) about men using a common interest in board games to hit on women on this site. Ive been hassled after sharing my game centre username, particularly by married men.
It might not have happened to you but its left me wary and thought I should share as a reminder.
Be safe ladies!
Xxx


I'm sorry this happened and I am also sorry that you were asked to prove that it happened in this thread.

Really the best course of action for women wanting to find people to play games online and not be propositioned is to pretend you are male. It's too bad we have to, but it works.
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\m/ Stoner Rock \m/ (Joe)
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Yeah, I get hit on so hard whenever I actually post in the knitting and crocheting forums that I usually lurk in. Please just tell me how to whip stitch my squares together and put your boobs back in your shirts, ladies.
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Jeffrey Finley
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Pfft, there's no such thing as women on the internet. That's just ridiculous...
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MMB
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dedbob wrote:
Yeah, I get hit on so hard whenever I actually post in the knitting and crocheting forums that I usually lurk in. Please just tell me how to whip stitch my squares together and put your boobs back in your shirts, ladies.
shake


You know it is really NOT possible for most men to understand that many women do NOT like or welcome being hit on all the time or in unexpected places and times.

Men think: "If I were hit on I'd feel flattered and good."

Women are hit on beginning in puberty onwards and it doesn't stop. Having total strangers that you have not encouraged hitting on you CAN make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe.
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Russ Williams
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EgorjLileli wrote:
You know it is really NOT possible for most men to understand that many women do NOT like or welcome being hit on all the time or in unexpected places and times.

Men think: "If I were hit on I'd feel flattered and good."

Women are hit on beginning in puberty onwards and it doesn't stop. Having total strangers that you have not encouraged hitting on you CAN make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe.


A good comic about that:
http://www.amptoons.com/blog/2010/08/30/cartoon-street-haras...
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\m/ Stoner Rock \m/ (Joe)
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EgorjLileli wrote:
dedbob wrote:
Yeah, I get hit on so hard whenever I actually post in the knitting and crocheting forums that I usually lurk in. Please just tell me how to whip stitch my squares together and put your boobs back in your shirts, ladies.
shake

You know it is really NOT possible for most men to understand that many women do NOT like or welcome being hit on all the time or in unexpected places and times.

Men think: "If I were hit on I'd feel flattered and good."

Women are hit on beginning in puberty onwards and it doesn't stop. Having total strangers that you have not encouraged hitting on you CAN make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

I was not trying to suggest that I would enjoy being hit on as women experience, I was just riffing off of Victoria's example of "reverse harassment" a couple posts above. It seems almost humorous for me to imagine a man complaining about women exposing themselves to him unprovoked, which is exactly how a women would typically react when a man does so.

Believe me, I totally "get" the inherent difficulty in understanding the situation from the perspective of "privilege". As a dog, I can never hope to understand or empathize with the discomfort of a lizard stuck in a largely canine world. I wish there were a way for the roles to be reversed (even temporarily) in our society so that men could really appreciate what women have to go through on a daily basis, but for the most part it seems like an impossibility.
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Dale Moore
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I guess the definition of hitting on someone has changed. Hitting on someone was showing interest. Asking someone out. Flirting to see if there is interest in return.

Are we talking about hitting on someone or Harassment?

There is no excuse for harassment.

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MMB
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russ wrote:
EgorjLileli wrote:
You know it is really NOT possible for most men to understand that many women do NOT like or welcome being hit on all the time or in unexpected places and times.

Men think: "If I were hit on I'd feel flattered and good."

Women are hit on beginning in puberty onwards and it doesn't stop. Having total strangers that you have not encouraged hitting on you CAN make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe.


A good comic about that:
http://www.amptoons.com/blog/2010/08/30/cartoon-street-haras...


Thank you VERY MUCH for that comic!
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Eugene
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russ wrote:

One panel:


The message of the comic is completely undermined by suggesting that horrific scenes like that panel are everyday occurrences.
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MMB
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Dale-not-Chip wrote:
I guess the definition of hitting on someone has changed. Hitting on someone was showing interest. Asking someone out. Flirting to see if there is interest in return.

Are we talking about hitting on someone or Harassment?

There is no excuse for harassment.



As most things, it depends on the time, place, and circumstances.

Imagine these 2 scenarios:

Scenario #1: Female gamer with a female-sounding Username gets on a game site and begins to play. Her posts on the in-game chat consist of remarks and comments on the game and gameplay. She doesn't mention her gender or her personal life or relationship status or interest. If a man or men begin hitting on her--flirting, asking her out, asking her personal questions, I feel that it could be construed as harassment in that particular scenario.

Scenario #2: Female gamer with a female-sounding Username gets on a game site and begins to play. Her posts on the in-game chat are personal in nature, claiming her gender and interest in some "action." If a man or men begin hitting on her-flirting, asking her out, asking her personal questions, then I do not feel it is harassment based on the specific circumstances.
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