Everyone Needs A Shed

Life and Games (but mostly games) from Tony Boydell: Dad, Husband and Independent UK Game Designer.

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Sugar Daddys Wanted - Apply Within

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
My Newent contact re: possible home for Version 1.0 of the museum is on holiday for a couple of weeks so I thought I'd (finally) get round to sorting some Patreon levels.

From gallery of tonyboydell


To keep things simple, I've gone for CHEAP and EXPENSIVE ends to the Bell Curve with a couple of tweak levels in-between:

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From gallery of tonyboydell


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From gallery of tonyboydell


One has to strike a balance between getting the patronage to make the enterprise work and not then have those funds immediately gobbled up by the benefactor benefit obligations. Do these sound reasonable?

As for the site: the properties that could work in the Town run at around 60 quid per week (plus electric) - roughly £300 per month - which translates into the new currency as 100 'Crowdies. Here's a peek at the smaller of the two Lots (the other is currently out-of-bounds with a self-isolating, Covid-worried Survivalist):

From gallery of tonyboydell


From gallery of tonyboydell

Two rooms - one large, one small.


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Well lit.


From gallery of tonyboydell

Right in the middle of the town...and 50m away from a micro-brewery and pub ('Cobblers')


From gallery of tonyboydell


More news, hopefully, as we move into June.
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Tunnel Vision

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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You might remember these images from the ramblechat but I include them here as a fixed document of a most-excellent afternoon out walking with pal Gerv.

We two met at Gerv's childhood home - now inherited - and traipsed through the fields at the end of the road and down to the old trackbed of the Wye Valley railway line. Just a couple of 100 yards from where'd I'd explored the previously-closed tunnel years passed, it's all opened up and re-surfaced and available for exploring!

From gallery of tonyboydell


From gallery of tonyboydell


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The other side of the 1km Tidenham tunnel - previously unseen.


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From gallery of tonyboydell


From gallery of tonyboydell

Through the trees, a glimpse of...


We were so enjoying the bright, hot mid-April weather - and chatting rather a lot - that we realised we'd walked almost to Tintern and determined to finish the job, with lunch close to the famous Abbey.

From gallery of tonyboydell


From gallery of tonyboydell


From gallery of tonyboydell


The pitch was melting on the piles of discarded sleeper and track, great door-stops of iron tempted free retrieval and - after four hours - we were back up-and-away from the line and staring over the River Severn in a late afternoon haze: only a 10 mile round trip but, taken at a sedate and genial pace, it provided an utterly splendid four hours of restorative, physical and mental therapy!
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Fri May 14, 2021 6:30 am
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Grumble

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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When I was a young lad - a whippersnapper, wet-behind-the-ears - one used to discover all manner of pamphletted treats in the hedgerows and rubbish heaps of a 1970s Britain: old medicine bottles, metal oddments, rudeness, white dog shit etc. Without such a thing as 'the Internet', pornography was the privilege of the grown-ups but - occasionally - those grown-ups would discard their paper-based naughtiness for us 'playing outside all the live-long day' youngsters: it was known as 'Grumble'.

The secluded corners of the playgrounds of the schools of the UK were often populated by a huddle of lads perusing the mud-caked, dried-from-damp pages of something Razzle-esque, Whitehouse-ish or - gasp - an 'import'.

Nowadays, such foragable treasures are so scarce as to be almost impossible to find:

Spoiler (click to reveal)
From gallery of tonyboydell

Uber Eats flyers? You'd be hard-pressed to knock one out over this nonsense...
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Thu May 13, 2021 6:20 am
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Shipping

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
Shipping is a rare find I happened-upon while looking for something else: the Ahoy! series come with big boards and lots of chits and I was originally researching it's sister game Flotilla, which came up on an eBays search. The latter comes in a huge, flat and rectangular slab of a box, is cheap (and you get to stick actual pins into the actual board), while Shipping is the scarcer older sibling:

From gallery of tonyboydell

GtR expansion cards provided for scale...and a bit of showing off.


From gallery of tonyboydell


Described, simply, (by the ungenerous) as 'Monopoly at Sea', it's the usual combination of rolling-and-moving, random event card draws, your own 'ship' board and 'cargo'...but, wait, more about the cargo in a minute:

From gallery of tonyboydell

Plain, but rather lovely, ships.


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Rules.


Right: about that cargo:

From gallery of tonyboydell

There's one Hell of a party a-brewin'.


Copra?!

Aside: I, once - as a student - held a party in my digs and we all ended up in the kitchen rolling 'cigarettes' into the early hours. The next day, we crawled around the kitchen on hands-and-knees looking for bits of crumbled 'flavouring' and were delighted to find enough in one corner to 'flavour' a whole cigarette. It turned out to be a small cache of mouse shit*.

From gallery of tonyboydell

Events deck no.1 (Met office reports)


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Events deck no.2 (Lloyds of London sticking their oar in)


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Events deck no.3 (messages from your boss)


At first, I'd obtained a box of the pieces only sans board BUT, later, managed to snag a second 'complete' edition: putting the two together to get the best one copy possible.

*true story.
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Wed May 12, 2021 6:20 am
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Buoy Racers

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
Ok, so I mentioned this is my rambling ramble the other day BUT I thought I'd take a slower - ie. static - approach to telling you about it by way of belt-and-braces.

I'm a bugger for the fringe items in the boardgaming eclectica world and a boat-racing game based in a matchbox tickled my fancy no end:

From gallery of tonyboydell


I can't find any evidence of this curious relic anywhere - not here nor, indeed, the wider webs of the world and, with just a box and two illustrated tickets and a pair of wooden standee bases, it would've been a relatively expensive piece to adorn a glass cabinet nook...were I not a game designer!

No, indeed; I have no excuse to ignore the lack of rules/missing extra bits and must come up with my own solution: thus, Buoy Racers is born:

From gallery of tonyboydell


This re-implementation requires the following, if you'd like to play along at home:

1 x Matchbox with inner tray
6 x Match per player (preferably de-clawed)
1 x Small boat piece per player (different colours are essential)

The rules are simple:

Quote:
Setting up:
Give each player a boat piece and six matches.
Place the matchbox inner at one end of the playing area as the START/FINISH and the outer, with the BUOY picture facing the START/FINISH, at the other end.

The aim is to be the first player to sail down to - and around - the buoy and back passed the START/FINISH.

Playing the Game:
Simultaneously - and in secret - players choose zero or more matches as a blind bid from the matches they have available.
All players reveal their ‘bids’ together:
- any player who shares the same, non-zero bid as one or more other player(s) does not move this turn.
Players with unique bids then lay their bid matches end-to-end in a line from their boat and then move their boat to the other end of the line.
All matches in bids - the same or different numbers - are discarded to a central supply.
A bid of zero means a player must top up their personal supply of matches to the maximum of SIX matches, taken from the general supply.
Repeat until someone has 'sailed' from the start(/finish) and around the buoy and back over the (start/)finish line.

Obviously, more players equals more chance of duplicate 'bids' which makes for more shenanigans: I recommend between 4 and 6 players.
This type of bijou trinket is, of course, perfect for the Museum's gift shop!

Now, please DO let me know how you find it / get on!
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Tue May 11, 2021 6:45 am
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(Relatively) Long Time No Speak

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
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Mon May 10, 2021 9:15 am
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FLGS 69 (Closedown)

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Please note: what follows is a satire - much exaggeration has been used for attempted comic effect.

(we are in an FLGS like many FLGS' - the accoutrements and the paraphernalia of this most gorgeous of hobbies adorn the premises; the Sun is shining and casting a warm, dust-moted glow into the Display. The cashier is sat behind the counter in pensive mood: rolling a die across the counter-top but not looking at the results. A group enters: gabbling excitedly)

Doorbell: *ding!*

Cashier: (snapping back into 'the room') Hello everyone! Good morning to you all!

(the group ignores him; they continue to chat amongst themselves)

Cashier: (coughs a little fake cough) *Ahem* Good morning to you!

(the group mills about the shelves and cabinets; the bureaus and the tables)

Cashier: (persisting) Welcome to my FLGS! Is there something I can help you all with?

(the group falls silent; one individual whispers to another and they giggle)

Cashier: Well, that seems a bit rude; if you don't mind me saying?

Group Member: Are you verbally-abusing me?

Cashier: No, I was -

Another Group Member: He's gone into denial mode already!

Cashier: But, I -

Group Member: It's this kind of EX-clusive and UN-accepting attitude that we have to fight against every day, you know.

Cashier: I only said I thought you were behaving rudely -

Another Group Member: We stand for tolerance, acceptance, good manners and tolerance.

Yet Another Group Member: (whispers) You already said 'tolerance'.

Another Group Member: It bears repeating, though; doesn't it?! He - (points to the cashier) - is the reason we have to be so vigilant!

Cashier: (peeved) O! for Gods' sake, stop being a bloody idiot!

(there is a collective gasp, then silence)

Cashier: Can't we just have a conversa-

Group Member: What did you just call me?!

Another Group Member: He called you a fucking idiot.

Cashier: - er, I didn't say 'fucking' -

Yet Another Group Member: Wow! Completely out of the blue you jump straight to calling me a fucking idiot?!

Someone else in the Group: I'm pretty sure he said 'Twat' too.

Cashier: Look: I didn't say 'fucking' - OR 'twat' - I called someone an idiot, yes, but you're not -

Another Group Member: Condemned from your own mouth!

Cashier - listening -

Group Member: We're not welcome here, my friends; we must leave immediately!

Cashier: No, but -

Another Group Member: I'm going to tell all my friends about this place and how unwelcoming it is to folk like us.

Cashier: Hang on; no, that's not what I - look: I am really sorry I called you an idiot. I got a bit 'het up' and said the first thing that popped into my head.

A Group Member Hiding At The Back: Thanks for the apology; I think that's a good start on a better road - ow! (they cry out, suddenly, then grab their shin with a grimace)

Group Leader: You don't get to "take it back" so easily, you know; you need to show us you've changed.

Cashier: I will. Please - enjoy the shop.

(the group mingle and shift amongst the wares; ten minutes of browsing passes)

Group Member: (picking up a copy of a medium-weight Euro) The scumbag publisher of this wouldn't send me a free copy for my Channel so we should boycott them from now on.

Another Group Member: I agree - and so does everyone else, don't you?

(everyone else nods; the group member at the back is now, visibly, limping)

Cashier: Whoa! That's a bit harsh calling the publisher a 'scumbag', isn't it?

Group Member: (glaring) What?!

Cashier: Well, I mean: maybe the publisher has a good reason for not being able to send you a free copy? If they sent a free copy to everyone who wanted to rev-

Group Member: (glaring, fiercely) What, what?!

Cashier: I'm just trying to put across an alternative view.

Group Member: Well, don't. You don't get to lecture us on name-calling, Mister! Not with your history!

Another Group Member: (pointing their finger at the Cashier) You should piss off; and take your toxic attitude somewhere else.

Cashier: But, this -

Doorbell: *ding-ding*

(the group begins to leave, in silence; someone mutters "Pig!")

Cashier: (deflated) For fucks' sake.

One week later...

(we are outside an FLGS; the window display is empty and there are stacks of packing boxes visible if you squint through the whitewashed glass pane. On the door there is a sign that reads: "Closed Until Further Notice". The group of gamers re-appears, pauses to read the sign then moves away down the street)

Group Member: (sighing, melancholic) It's such a shame that so many FLGSs are going out of business these days.

FIN.
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Sun Apr 4, 2021 7:34 am
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Millstone

Anthony Boydell
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Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan
Social media is a grinding, poisonous habitat and it's asphyxiating; there is no place for nuance, empathy or compromise - and certainly none for forgiveness or tolerance.

Quote:
Facebook, of course, started life as a demeaning "Who's Hot & who's not?" frat-boy 'lark' and, yet, it's now a major platform in our global, gaming discourse: you build your Castle on a swamp and the bloody thing is going to sink into it.
I’ve lost my temper on Twitter, in times past, over (in the cold light of day) trivial things; consequently, folks that I thought knew me far better, cut me off and folks I've never dealt with pronounced upon my supposed villainy at the end of a chain of whispers.

It's a relentless juggernaut of scorn without an expiry date or a reset period. I'm not perfect: catch me on the wrong day and I'm quick to anger, unreasonable, cynical and/or curmudgeonly but that doesn't make me a bad person because it's not who I am...it just makes me those things on that day.

Social media is not a good or safe space for me - and I’m entirely unclear what I get out it when I’m behaving myself (which is 99.9% of the time). It sounds paranoid, I guess, but I would also be unsurprised if I started getting sanctioned for using bad language in the blog - I’m certainly not confident of making a point about the latest controversy without the looming shadow of the (wielded with an unnerving glee nowadays) Banhammer.

So, at the advice of a highly-respected pal, I'm absenting myself from all the Ess Emms; my shoulders feel a little lighter already!
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Sun Apr 4, 2021 6:30 am
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@shitgamerpuns 117

Anthony Boydell
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Newent. Glos
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[center]
From gallery of tonyboydell
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Sat Apr 3, 2021 12:10 pm
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@shitgamerpuns 116

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
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Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
Microbadge: I love Europe!Microbadge: 5 Games for Doomsday fanMicrobadge: Talk Talk fanMicrobadge: Citizenship Recognition - Level VI -  Is six any more shiny? ... Well, it's one shinier isn't it? ... Okay, why don't you just make five a bit more shiny and then that would be the most shiny? ... Because these go to six.Microbadge: Klemens Franz fan

From gallery of tonyboydell
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Sat Apr 3, 2021 6:20 am
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