Every Man Needs A Shed

Life and games (but mostly games) from Tony Boydell: Independent UK games designer, self-confessed Agricola-holic and Carl Chudyk fan-boy. www.surprisedstaregames.co.uk What was that beardy bloke going on about?

Archive for Ranting

1 , 2  Next »  

Recommend
85 
 Thumb up
6.00
 tip
 Hide

Message In A Bottle

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb



So, today, in the UK, our Prime Minister (who looks like an am-dram Miss Haversham and for whom the electorate did not vote and was gifted the role by a posh, spam-faced pig-rapist) - along with her herd of mooing, money-grubbing, rancid cronies - is pushing the Article 50 button to remove the United Kingdom from the European Union (and the single market too). And she's doing it without any idea of the consequences, without any plan (that she's prepared to share with 67 million citizens) and in spite of continued and fervent protest.

Consider the country in which I now live: greedy con artists in Government, an insignificant wet fart (who quite likes the whole idea of leaving Europe, actually) in the role of 'the opposition', a rampant-and-racist media gleefully pumping out it's poisonous arse-gas and a population numbed by (induced and unfounded) fears for their own livelihoods. You are seeing the asset-stripping of an entire Nation, perpetrated in plain sight, and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it except rage against the open, undaunted sky.

I am thoroughly-ashamed of this hateful larceny, this deplorable fraud: not in my name, you thumb-on-the-scales merchants...

Not

In

My

Fucking

Name!




P.S. Any help from 'outside' would be much appreciated.

Twitter Facebook
32 Comments
Wed Mar 29, 2017 6:20 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
107 
 Thumb up
6.76
 tip
 Hide

I respectfully request that you wind your necks in

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb
WRT Scythe winning a lot of Golden Geek Awards:
E This wasn't a decision from the Nobel Committee
E You not caring for it means nuthin' and your quickly-taken umbrage means even less
E You are part of a minority that actually engages on BGG; the silent majority form the site's Dark Matter that leads to such perceived injustice.
E Perhaps more deserving titles were not available in large enough quantities to inform the great unwashed who, rightly, got quickly sick of hearing about how great something was without ever being able to get access to it (I'm looking at YOU Terraforming Mars and VAST)
E I happen to like Scythe very much so "Yah! Boo! Sucks to be you!" *thwrrrrp*
E Being nominated in the first place is honour enough; besides, there are plenty of other Awards (DSP, IGA, ICI, MFF etc) better suited to your current 'Favourite Game of Forever' (aka 'The game I like the most - this Month - until the next one comes along', which leads me nicely in to...)

WRT Rising Sun on Kickstarter
E Calm the Hell down, people; the only thing anyone knows about this game is that it comes with pretty plastic pieces (er, see my next point)
E Eric is a lovely man but I'm not funding £100+ on the basis of "Designer Loveliness"; for THAT price I'd want a handjob too! Mind you, some might argue that Geeks willing to spend £100+ just for fancy the minis are well-able to give themselves a handjob (perhaps that's what painting your miniatures means?)
E Ever thought about playing a game, from a few years back perhaps, that is highly-regarded instead of fixating on this shiny NOW-NSENSE and staring at your letterbox until the Postman arrives with a box that's just given the poor bastard a hernia?
E Remember the backlash over Blood Rage? No? Well, then...
E Buy a copy of the excellent Ikusa instead; THAT has minis and is a corkingly-good game that's already proven!

WRT How long I say it takes to play Guilds of London on the box
E It was play-tested over 10 years and the average times come down to those shown on the box; those are MY figures and my estimates. Perhaps we need an extra rubric element representing how long it will take to play 'the first time'...which would need to be further split in to gradations from, at one end: "By a competent group of gamers who read the rules and have a realistic expectation about how proficient they will become after a first play" through to, at the other end: "By a lazy, distracted group of whiners who expected to solve the whole thing after looking at the picture on the back of the box whilst also getting the high score on Crossy Road / Instagram-ing their new trainers."
E Er, this one's VERY specific to me...I think I had one-too-many coffees this morning.

WRT The title of this post
E ...applies to me as well; yes, I am fully-aware.

*sigh*

*breathes deeply*

Twitter Facebook
25 Comments
Wed Mar 8, 2017 2:54 pm
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
46 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide

(a) Black Sabbath

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb
Apropos of nothing at all, an hypothetical question:

*ahem*

(deep breath)

When you bring a game along to a meetup and you teach it (as best you can despite heckles and arguments and blank looks) and then you play it and people seem to have ignored the explanation given and/or not listened at all and/or complain you didn't tell them something when you bloody well did and/or they make loads of mistakes which you point out during the first hour but then just give up because it's sodding exhausting and/or they start challenging YOUR moves because you're doing interesting things and you have to re-explain everything again because you're basically being accused of cheating when all you wanted to do was play a bloomin game...is it okay to take out a weapon and kill them?


Poll
Is the above sufficient grounds with which to claim self-defence when murdering members of your gaming group?
No. Now...take this flower and let's hug, you poor angry person, you.
No. Killing is always wrong and, besides, you'll be one Club member down.
Yes. Killing is always wrong BUT you'll be one Club member down...so the range of compatible games for the average attendance will go UP!
Yes. And the justification extends to people who post fatuous Polls on popular websites too.
Er, I'm scared; can we have something about Gerdts & Uwe again, please?
      184 answers
Poll created by tonyboydell


Twitter Facebook
17 Comments
Sun Mar 5, 2017 6:35 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
60 
 Thumb up
0.55
 tip
 Hide

As I laid me down to sleep...

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb

...I had a quick look on eBay for stuff to spend a little Christmas money on; I made an offer:



*excited* I wonder if he'll accept? *excited*

#noexcuse #bollocks2supplyanddemand #thumbonthescalesmerchant
Twitter Facebook
14 Comments
Tue Dec 27, 2016 6:30 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
58 
 Thumb up
0.05
 tip
 Hide

Santa's SACKED!!!

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb
It's all fun at work come Christmas time, isn't it? Everyone brings a plate or packet of summat yummy to eat, there's a wheezy old tape player hissing out tinny renditions of Now That's What I Call Christmas 1986 and the office 'joker' has dressed up in a red, furry suit and wants to show all the giggling PA's his bulging sack!

No office celebratory Yuletide buffet-lunch would be complete without Secret Santa either: the annual festival of drawing a random name from a hat and having to buy them something for less than a tenner. Sweet baby Jesus in the fucking Manger but there's more trays of Poundshop chocolates and off-licence beercans than an entire sink estate could consume in a DECADE of Christmases piled up on the desks and spilling in to the photocopier. The office 'joker' has just shredded an entire bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk in the hope he'll get an impressed 'blowie' off of the Business Support Officer.

I'm happy to participate in the clandestine gift-giving and, THIS year, was assigned one of the office's respected elder ladies: a rotund, 'bubbly', 'jolly' type*. I thought that the following was a fun present, not wishing to succumb to cacao/alcohol cliché:



I figured she could assemble it and have it as a desk decoration or, at worst, pass it on to twinkle-eyed grandchild - for she has the manner of a clucking hen matriarch. How bloody wrong I bastard was!

I got in to the office today (Monday) to find myself the lingering subject of not a little disdain: the recipient, painfully single and without any offspring or grand-offspring to her name, had been all over Facebook at the weekend posting up photos of the above and garnering opinions from her friends as to the worth and/or appropriateness of it as a Secret Santa bestowal! And, as is usual with such social media intercourse, it fed itself on umbrage, disappointment and blame: "Perhaps he..." (she'd found out my name from one of the list's organizers - surely a crime more heinous?) "...mixed up a couple of presents and you got the wrong one?"; "How is THAT appropriate?"; "Poor you..." and so on!

I mean, talk about being un-shitting-grateful! Mind you, that 'ice cream' on the left DOES look like a massive dildo. Oops.

*ie. nothing of the sort
Twitter Facebook
25 Comments
Tue Dec 20, 2016 6:30 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
67 
 Thumb up
12.00
 tip
 Hide

Watch The Birdy

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb
Twitter Facebook
34 Comments
Wed Dec 14, 2016 6:30 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
60 
 Thumb up
0.25
 tip
 Hide

Positive Mental Attitude

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb
Earlier this week I waxed lyrical about the gorgeousness and love in the Geek community; a shining example to the uninitiated. However...

...over on the Boardgamegeek Facebook group, in the last 48 hours, the following discussion threads have appeared:

Most overrated game and why?

What game do you most regret buying?

What game do you most regret playing?

Additionally, someone felt they needed to begin their post with: "I'm not trying to start fights. Please don't get offended if somebody disagrees with you. {QUESTION GOES IN HERE}"

And: "Serious question...Every time I, or someone else, posts something positive about a Games Workshop product, the hate flows. Why is that? " followed by 72 ranting replies.

Twitter Facebook
19 Comments
Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:15 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
75 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide

Twatforce One

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb
Here's a little curiosity that brushed my hair trigger: five (so-called) gamers have rated A Feast for Odin as a '1' and it's only been out for two weeks. I've neither got it, nor played it, but one thing I know for certain - even now, in this inexperienced position - is that it's definitely not "Awful - defies game description". Also, one of these ratings was logged in May when the files weren't even at the printers yet (probably).



Additionally, unsurprisingly, one particular user has rated this and multiple other Essen 2016 hotnesses as a '1', which suggests that he (it must be a 'he'):
a) has been massively unfortunate in spending €100s on hard-to-get-at-the-time games he found were not subsequently to his taste (ie. a spendthrift twat who doesn't understand what pre-show research means) OR
b) is just a poisonous, hateful twat who loves pissing on people's chips.

The twat.

Now, let's see where this earthy (minor) venting-of-a-little-steam takes us today...
Twitter Facebook
33 Comments
Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:25 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
52 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide

Ay-bloody-Eye

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb

I work in I.T so, of course, I'm fully aware of bugs in software. Mind you, it's normally just a field that mis-validates or a workflow that fails to fire or an index that drops off and needs recreating; gone are the days of the ubiquitous 'Segmentation Fault - Core Dumped' while hacking your C-way around a Sun Sparc or a PERL script or something in a RDBMS stored procedure. No; all of those things are piggywiffle and 'as gossamer' when compared to the impact of when the Agricola app disappears up it's own electron-bombarded NAND-sphincter...and it mostly does it when I'm about to win "big time"!



Yesterday, I was all set to round off a particularly-satisfying, on-work-time comfort break with a 50+ win when Mr So-Called 'Green' decided he couldn't decide between plowing a field and sowing his one grain or plowing a field and sowing his one grain and a wood he didn't have. His little collar just spun and spun and spun and spun while the phone got hotter and hotter. And the worst thing is the rage one feels; the pointless, impotent, glaring-at-the-screen fury at being gyped: A.I? F.O!
Twitter Facebook
14 Comments
Tue Oct 4, 2016 6:23 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
48 
 Thumb up
0.10
 tip
 Hide

What a state to get into.

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Welcome...to my Shed!
mbmbmbmbmb
Back in the late Spring my eldest boy bought himself Fallout 4 but, after a couple of days trying to keep the (so-called) 'Broadband' alive while it downloaded, the thing just wouldn't work on his laptop. Patches, mods, tweaks, updates, driver re-installs and an awful lot of effin & jeffin failed to get the bloody thing doing whatever it is that it does. Due to my eldest's anxiety issues, May-into-June-into-July wasn't exactly a barrel of early-evening laughs but - thanks to a windfall inheritance from my Grandmother's passing last year - help was at hand: he was finally able to buy a new, better-specification laptop, Fallout 4 installed and (after some patch synchs) ran without a problem! Huzzah and Hallelujah! So, I come home last night and find that he's NOT, in fact, spent the day immersed in a post-apocalyptic world but - instead - been lying about in bed and generally mooching the place up. Why, then, after all that hassle and tension and frustration, hasn't he been permanently glued to the LCD smacking seven shades of Scheisse into dread beasts? Could it be that, after all this time, he'd lost his enthusiasm and excitement?

We board gamers (or, at least, those of us who don't have Playboxes or X-Stations) can sometimes get a similar feeling of crushed expectation when crowdfunding...and I have experienced many of the varied states of Kickstarter:


"Placated": I am a fully-subscribed and badge-wearing Glory to Rome:Black Box-er but have yet to let the protracted arse-wittery of it's "fulfillment" tarnish my love of the game itself. I don't actually play with the BB edition - as it us much too valuable to contaminate with human contact - but the older editions suffice, and it's a relief to see it on my shelf.




"Turned Off": I have the worn patience, the bowing-shelf and the abject indifference of the Moongha Invaders: Mad Scientists and Atomic Monsters Attack the Earth!-er. Any excitement or tension I may have felt upon initial funding has leeched away to a flat, uniform end-of-the-universe-particle soup of insouciance. I don't believe I shall EVER want to play this and, ashamedly, I don't care. Oh dear.




"Schrodinger's Pledger": Coming soon! - as it has been for 15 months+ now - are the Knot Dice and if they popped up in a campaign TODAY I wouldn't back them. Not really an end state but more of a crossroads, I can probably only end up 'Placated' at best now: too much water has flowed under the (resin) bridge.




"Regretful": The creeping realization that your optimistic financial support for REDACTED has morphed into a cash-for-ordure transaction and the only way back is to throw it in to the UK Games Expo Bring-and-Buy and hope someone will give you a fiver for it.




"Pleased": ...is, of course, both a (universal) Start State AND an eagerly-assumed End State. Oh, the humanity! How wide-and-dewy-eyed we all are when the green 'button' is clicked; how tum-tinglingly trepidacious! Thankfully, MOST of the 44 backed projects maintain this state throughout their life-cycle; it must be my judgement and good sense.

What State(s) have I missed?

Should there be a special one for 'Never Fulfilled', or is that an eternally-unresolved "Schrodinger"?

Does anyone want to buy a copy of Moongha Invaders: Mad Scientists and Atomic Monsters Attack the Earth!?
Twitter Facebook
27 Comments
Fri Sep 2, 2016 6:30 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls

1 , 2  Next »  

Front Page | Welcome | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | Support BGG | Feeds RSS
Geekdo, BoardGameGeek, the Geekdo logo, and the BoardGameGeek logo are trademarks of BoardGameGeek, LLC.