Every Man Needs A Shed

Life and Games (but mostly games) from Tony Boydell: Dad, Husband and Independent UK Game Designer, Agricola fanboy and jealous admirer of Carl Chudyk. www.surprisedstaregames.co.uk

Archive for Ranting

1 , 2 , 3 , 4  Next »  

Recommend
80 
 Thumb up
6.01
 tip
 Hide

'Sup? Time 'sup, that's what'sup.

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb

It's the straw that broke the camels back.

It's a bridge too far.

Enough is enough (is enough. I can't go on no more, no more etc).

Its the final turd in the punch bowl.

Game over, man; game over.

With immediate effect - and that includes this post so you won't actually see it - I shall no longer be posting in my BGG blog; someone said something nasty about one of my games (it was probably about Guilds of London. It usually is) and it upset me so much that I slammed my fingers in the door. Do you know how painful it is typing this up? Ruddy painful - and that's proper swearing and everything. Also - coincidentally, therefore significantly - the dog was sick over my original Scandaroon prototype (the one I was saving for the V&A Museum of Childhood tribute exhibition that's happening soon*); though, to be honest, it plays better (if anything).

No more blogging.

Not ever.

Never, never, never, never, never. Never.

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveA, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveP, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveR, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveI, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveL, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveF, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveO, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveO, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveL, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, neveS, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never.

NEVER!

Same time tomorrow, then?


*I dreamed this.
Twitter Facebook
12 Comments
Sun Apr 1, 2018 6:35 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
67 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide

I finally made it on to the Geek Weekly?!

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Woo-hoo!



(cue: popping of champagne cork)

Let’s follow the link because it was my blog post, now with 100+ thumbs, that brought the campaign to (some bits of) BGG...



(cue: fountain of champagne reducing to a dribble, undrunk)

...eh? What the..?! But that’s Christian’s blog; his post that said he’d seen MY post and was doing some excellent cross-promotion! Either ‘Brad’ didn’t read Christian’s post in full (which makes him ill-suited to picking “the best of” content) or he did and roundly ignored my foundation post deliberately (which makes him a bit of a [redacted]).

*hurrumph* with an extra helping of *sulk*

(makes self a cup of tea, muttering) geekweeklyisrubbishanywaystupidbloodyquizzesandallkickstartershillsanywaybluddyphukkin)


Twitter Facebook
9 Comments
Thu Mar 29, 2018 5:16 pm
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
71 
 Thumb up
0.05
 tip
 Hide

a bit of your data are belong to facebook

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
The whole 'Facebook has stolen your life' controversy - something we all knew but has suddenly been made hyper-Newsworthy because of Cambridge Analytica - sent me scurrying to a remote corner of my FB profile to take a closer look. Sure enough, after one whole click and 4s of searching, I found the 'Download your Profile' link and kicked off the remote job. Shortly afterward I was notified of it's completion and promptly filed to .ZIP prior to having a nervous shuffty:


Only half a gig for 11 years of Social Media-ing?!


Thankfully, at least on the surface, my personal telephone list and Sexting scripts were NOT including in the archive...mainly because I never divulged that info to Farcebook in the first place. However, I did re-discover a Tweet-style FB status update sequence from 2010 when I was stuck in the Newent Tandoori waiting for a takeaway; we (Mrs B and I) had just come back from an all-afternoon School Reunion where I didn't know anyone because it was Mrs B's school reunion and not mine and she's several smooth-skinned years younger than me.

The scene: the local takeout
The time: mid-evening; it is crowded due to some delay in the kitchens. Our protagonists await their spicy pleasures...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 20:52 UTC+01
Great! Spent last few hours in a room with people I don't know and now stood in an unmoving queue of people I don't know for an indeterminate time. :-(

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 20:57 UTC+01
Still it could be worse: Ed 209 Miliband could be Labour lead..er...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 20:58 UTC+01
There's an occasional burst of muffled swearing from the kitchen but no curry has yet emerged for any of us...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 20:59 UTC+01
If I complain will I end up as Special Bhuna?

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:01 UTC+01
Ah! Curry! But not for me - oh, now the customer is complaining he's not got enough nans...more delays :-(

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:03 UTC+01
Some bloke called Lucan has just asked if his Korma is ready yet, only he's just killed the nanny and he REALLY ought to be making a getaway...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:04 UTC+01
At least I can see the telly now..QI XL FTW

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:07 UTC+01
Finally feeling that warm, spiced scirocco on my chilled cheeks...three orders back, though.

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:08 UTC+01
If I don't make it back: to my darling wife and children..I LOVE YOU *sobs*

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:10 UTC+01
The first 'child of the curry queue' has been born, we've discovered fire and developed rudimentary tools..if we wait long enough we'll invent takeaways and finally BE FREE!

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:12 UTC+01
A bloke who popped in for some pilau rice has just formed a religion: we now worship an old copy if The Sun as sacred text...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:15 UTC+01
The prophet Tiffany, 19, has got great Tablets...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:17 UTC+01
Nearly at the front...I feel so weak, though...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:25 UTC+01
Currently distilling moonshine from sweaty socks and discarded takeaway menus...our soothsayers predict the Second Coming is imminent

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:28 UTC+01
(choirs of angels) The light...walking toward the light...all my loved ones are waiting for me...and they're carrying foil takeout trays and pots of damp salad...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:30 UTC+01
A stumpy old lady with a squeaky voice has just pulled me back from oblivion...now I'm covered in either ectoplasm or mango chutney...

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:34 UTC+01
(dramatic music) War is breaking out here...something as innocent as a missed Peshwari has led to terrible casualties - there's masala everywhere (vomits)

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:38 UTC+01
The horror! The horror! Torn pirahta, severed chicken wings and rhita...if I should die think only this of me: that in some corner of a foreign restaurant lies a piece of England *sniff*

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:39 UTC+01
Allelulia! Allelulia! I have curry! I'm coming home, my darlings - daddys coming home (emotional swelling of music, hankies out)


then, finally:

Quote:
Saturday, 25 September 2010 at 21:41 UTC+01
Oh bugger - it's gone cold
Twitter Facebook
3 Comments
Wed Mar 28, 2018 6:20 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
75 
 Thumb up
4.00
 tip
 Hide

embargo farrago

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb



This tweet popped up in my browser and I immediately spat out a mouthful of tea: "embargo"?!

I am trying to visualize the circumstances in which our beloved Eric was fed this particular tidbit and then told he wasn't allowed to reveal details on pain of...well, on pain of WHAT? Never letting him get privileged info about a gaming product at a very well attended Public trade show ever again? Eh?! The guy from the Industry's most voluminous and influential media presence is gonna be shunned ad infinitum for bleating out details of "Codenames: Legacy" or the "Rising Sun iOS App" or "Pandemic: Flu Outbreak at the Old Folks Home"?! Get bloody real, you twats; you're not the effing NSA. Was he told this Gaming Extinction Level Event (GELE, pronounced 'Jelly') in front of other punters as part of the general publicity ie. is this info freely advertised at the Toy Fair BUT every single attendee is now under this %$@#! embargo? (unlikely) OR was he led in to a booth in the bowels of the Stand and shown this particular Fart Of The Covenant in secret? What the actual, low-calorie, vegetarian friendly, gluten-free FUCK do these publishers think they're doing? This is a shitnugget game/toy NOT the discovery of a new quantum particle or confirmation of communications from extra-terrestrial life!!! Still; it's a good thing these pills I've been taking are keeping me at a low anxiety level otherwise I might've really let rip.

Cunts.
Twitter Facebook
33 Comments
Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:30 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
73 
 Thumb up
6.00
 tip
 Hide

Stope the Trope!

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb

(ie. anything about having to "clear" purchases with 'the missus' in advance,
having to smuggle boxes in to the house secretly so your partner doesn't notice,
obfuscating Bank statement transactions and/or
'hilariously' being told off for having too many games etc)
Twitter Facebook
18 Comments
Wed Feb 7, 2018 6:40 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
40 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide

Song

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb


Now the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live

Now the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live

Now the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live

Now the bloggers and YouTubers with their overwhelming hubris re: the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the bloggers and YouTubers with their overwhelming hubris re: the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the bloggers and YouTubers with their overwhelming hubris re: the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live
Now the bloggers and YouTubers with their overwhelming hubris re: the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss are just going live

So if you want to pledge your moolah thanks to Bloggers and Youtubers with their overwhelming hubris re: the temps who put the stickers on the faces of the bases on the Minis in the stretch goals of the CMON big Kickstarter fuss that’s just going live…

You’re too late! Because the campaign’s just closed!
Twitter Facebook
8 Comments
Sat Feb 3, 2018 6:30 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
74 
 Thumb up
1.00
 tip
 Hide

Fox News

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Couriers? You gotta love 'em! With their chirpy smiles and wry whistles, they carry the very lifeblood of our hobby from door-to-door (OR from door-to-wheelie bin OR from door-to-neighbour-with-whom-one-has-fallen-out's door). If you're lucky, they won't have thrown it off a tower block just to record the impact as a text ringtone or driven a fork-lift truck over it because no-one was there on the Induction Training Course to teach the 'How To Use A Fork-Lift' module. Indeed, my favourite FB group has a regular post appear - every fortnight or so - that exhibits a fresh, new MyHermes' maltreatment of some unfortunate's hard-worked-for hotness.

To be honest, you're lucky if the bloody thing turns up at all; I mean, it took FIVE attempts to get a box of Counter magazines from Kent to my house and each time the website took the Tracking Number and told me it was 'In Transit to Main Depot' when I knew, for a fact, it was still in Derek's porch! And there's the depressing thought of some shady streak-of-piss driver half-inching a couple of those 'tasty lookin' boxes' only to find something nerdy and valueless (to him) within: "What the f*ck is Gloom-f*ckin'-Haven?!" and cue dumping the evidence in a quarry.

It was with a sigh of reassured pleasure, then, when my latest impulse purchase of The Fox in the Forest (just £20 incl. P&P) plopped on to the door-mat surrounded by proportionately as much packaging as an apple pip is surrounded by apple:



God Bless You, Karl! And better luck next time, Mr so-called Postman!
Twitter Facebook
12 Comments
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:19 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
64 
 Thumb up
2.05
 tip
 Hide

Tick-Tock

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
A favourite hobby horse for gamers is to complain about the "accuracy" of the Playing Time, as printed on the side of a game box. Its an eternal game of True or False? where the informed experience of designers, developers and publishers - who have lived and breathed a product for (usually) some years - is pitted against the first evening's experience of complete strangers.



The traditional rubrik of X to Y mins which, of course (and it shouldn't have to be spelled out but...), is an indication of an AVERAGE playing time that takes in to account some experience of the game. Up until now, the world has seen fit to avoid the need to print an extra box labelled "Expected First Game Duration", as this would be more like a vast cosmological equation having to consider:

The intelligence of the group or, more specifically, the intelligence of the stupidest member of the group;

The preparation and/or explanatory skills of the teacher (loquacious vs succinct? coherent vs rambling? audible vs mute? etc);

The environment in which the game is being played ie. visibility (lighting, dense fog etc), background noise (intimacy vs Hen Party) and physical space

Player's susceptibility to over-analysing; and,

The level of general distractions eg. eating a meal at the same time, wandering pets / children and free Wi-Fi.

To expect a number on a box to exactly fit your personal circumstances comprised of many factors out of the control of the game is not just unreasonable, it's bone-headedly imbecilic.

Recently, publishers have started using the X per Player approach which is a smart about-turn as one's natural response is to think about the specifics of each intended player and adjust accordingly eg. Jobbers (a name pulled from the aether purely at random) likes to 'consider his moves more carefully than most', so we'll count him as 1.5 players instead.

In the end, publishers don't just roll a couple of d100s or pull raffle tickets from a hat; we think about these things carefully and honestly - any variance that YOU might suffer is your own fault and you should try a bit harder next time.
Twitter Facebook
32 Comments
Sun Jan 7, 2018 9:36 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
98 
 Thumb up
7.05
 tip
 Hide

Ludocide!

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
(Today's blog is brought to you from Shite Games and their new Party Game for Christmas: Just a Cotton-Pickin Minute! The Game of Half-Baked Arguments! In HBA, players draw subject cards and must speak on the side of that subject for 60 seconds while avoiding stringing together an even slightly-coherent/salient point; those that do can be 'buzzed out' and the subject taken over by the buzzer!)

We Are Murderers!



For a community that professes to be enthusiastic, appreciative, supportive and loyal, we are killing our hobby
zombie Dead! zombie

We’re killing games before we play them:

Hype Hypertension: The "I Am Not A Sheep" Excuse
"I'll be damned if I'm gonna jump on the bandwagon with everyone else; I'm a leader not a follower!".
The sheer nose-severing/face-spitedness of this buffoonish position is breath-taking; it's perfectly fine to be part of a wider community of appreciation. Stop being an elitist prick.

zombie Dead! zombie

Hype Hypertension: The Irritable Buyer Syndrome
The ubiquity of a game on Social Media/the Internets begins to grind your gears; it's everywhere and all of the time and you shall not stand for it.
Over-saturation can be a turn-off, yes, but – conversely - the howl of indignation is equally loud when great games are under-sold and become hard to get hold of; is there a happy medium? “No” is the quick, easy answer, so stop getting quite so ragged.

zombie Dead! zombie

Hype Hypertension: The Upside Down
If so many people are saying it's great then it must be, in fact, the opposite! This is because the rest of the community is on a singular mission to dupe their fellows and me, in particular!
We’ve all got a lot more on, to be honest.

zombie Dead! zombie

”I don't like the presentation/artwork/design aesthetic!”.
Liver casserole looks revolting but tastes like Heaven; {Insert Name of Miniature-Heavy Kickstarter GeekPorn Here} looks like a million dollars but is, in fact, a foetid pool of lumpen arse-gravy. And just because Aquasphere looks like a vomit splat doesn’t mean it’s nauseating (not when the mechanisms and processes themselves do that instead).

zombie Dead! zombie

*whine* *whinge* "They’re too expensive!" *grumble* *moan*
What you mean to say is “They cost more than I’m willing to pay”, which is a different thing entirely.

zombie Dead! zombie

"Wahh! Kickstarter is destroying the industry!"
No. It's. Not.

We’re killing games while we play them:

The rulebook is either too big, too small, too brief, too long-winded or just 'bad' (no further justification is given); the tsunami of 'rules clarification' threads on BGG is further evidence of a general malaise in game literature.
Opinions about rulebooks (and the thread issue) is, in fact, clear evidence of a growing laziness in gamers to read the paperwork in front of them and then blame anyone and everyone else when it all goes ‘tits’. It gets even worse when threads are started to clarify rules that were previously-clarified in other threads that, in turn, pointed to a perfectly clear section of the original rulebook.

zombie Dead! zombie

It's explained poorly and/or incompletely by your game teacher; we don’t play the game as designed and/or we just all play it wrong.
We should rely less on ‘teachers’ and do more research/background reading ourselves. Just because ‘Person X’ neglected to explain the Science rules in 7 Wonders doesn’t make 7 Wonders an appalling failure of a game (a purely-hypothetical example). Oh, and it's YOUR fault if you miss/miss-play/mis-read a rule and no-one elses PERIOD.

zombie Dead! zombie

I don't grasp the intentions/subtleties/mechanisms immediately (or at all); if I can't grok everything the first time around then, frankly, I must move on...
Not everything is – or should be – immediately apparent. A banquet is more delicious served in courses than in one, huge, table-groaning dump.

zombie Dead! zombie

I didn’t win the first play so I don't like it (for extra points add "It must be broken", "It's a game of total luck" and/or "The icons are unclear").
Grow the fuck up and stop sulking, you big baby.

zombie Dead! zombie

I have other things on my mind so I am not giving it my full attention.
Give it your full attention NEXT TIME...and that means accepting you are at fault (and not the game) and giving it a next time!

zombie Dead! zombie

We’re killing games AFTER we play them:

Great reviews of Terrible Games
(cue: the sound of cash tills a-ringin')

zombie Dead! zombie

Terrible reviews of Great Games
(see all the reasons above)

zombie Dead! zombie

Standalone unboxing videos
(?Why?)

zombie Dead! zombie

I Rest (In Peace) My Case.
Twitter Facebook
25 Comments
Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:46 am
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls
Recommend
60 
 Thumb up
1.00
 tip
 Hide

...and another thing...

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
Unspecified
flag msg tools
designer
Every homo sapiens needs an outbuilding within the curtelage of their property
badge
Welcome...to my Shed!
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb


Day Two of ‘scribbling difficulties’ and I find myself in a branch of Subway in Cardiff and assailed by a server who (it subsequently seems) has not had a good day so far:

Tony: (cheerily, despite low blood sugar) “A foot-long Italian Meatball sub with extra cheese on Italian Herb bread, please”

Assistant: (as if I’d called her a fat cow) “We don't have Italian Herb bread; we have Italian Bread OR Italian Herb & Cheese bread?”

Tony: “Er…herb and che-“

Assistant: “We don’t have Italian meatballs…”

Tony: (hungry and befuddled) “Um – you have meatballs though, right?”

Assistant: “Yes. But it’s called Meatball Marinara”

Tony: (thinks to himself)I’ve been coming to Subway for 15 years and it used to be called an “Italian Meatball Sub

Assistant: (fed up that this is taking so long ie. about three elapsed seconds) “So. Is it Meatball Marinara you want?”

Tony: “Yes please. With extra cheese, please.”

Assistant: (NOT adding the extra cheese) “Toasted?”

Tony: “Yes please. With extra cheese.”

(The assistant sighs audibly. I wander over to the drinks cabinet which is, confusingly, NOT by the counter but right next to the front door)

Cashier: (calling out) “Excuse me! Are you going to pay?”

Tony: “I’m just getting a drink – “

Cashier & Assistant: (simultaneously, angrily – after all this has now taken about 90 seconds) “Do you want any salad?!”

Tony: “Yes please.”

The sub is warm in my hands and my cheeks are flushed with embarrassment and a growing rage: corrected on my mis-speaking and accused of attempted thievery when all I wanted was a meat roll and a peach tea!

What the actual, strawberry-scented, reduced sugar, two-for-the-price-of-one fuck?!
Twitter Facebook
17 Comments
Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:07 pm
Post Rolls
  • [+] Dice rolls

1 , 2 , 3 , 4  Next »  

Front Page | Welcome | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | Support BGG | Feeds RSS
Geekdo, BoardGameGeek, the Geekdo logo, and the BoardGameGeek logo are trademarks of BoardGameGeek, LLC.