Breathing Death- An Initiate's Journey Through Ghost Stories and the Tao Te Ching

Not knowing what will transpire, each post will chronicle my attempts to use a first time reading of the Tao Te Ching to inform my decisions during solo plays of Antoine Bauza's Ghost Stories. I shall read a little of the book each week and juxtapose its passages with a sort of session report. I will not read or heed any other advice on how to play the game well. I shall attempt to play on Thursday nights and post the following Friday.
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5- Governance

Wanda Davies
United States
Olympia
Washington (WA)
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I've been winning Ghost Stories lately. Winning on days when I felt bad and did not want to play. Lately I've been feeling good. I've been trying to relax. Today, I did not win. I do not mind this, but I wonder if it is an issue of balance.
I am weary of feeling good. The Tao Te Ching says that if there is good then there is also bad. If things are, then they are. I try to let things be as they are, but I have strong desires nonetheless. It is a process.
One thing I have trouble with is, if I let things be as they are, what would I do but react? Or actwith? I want to make things. I want to be in dialogue with the world- not to be told what to do. There is something I am not understanding. I am part of the world so if it tells me what to do, then I am telling myself what to do.
I should not be so bossy.
This last sentiment a challenge for me. I keep reading passages on governance. It makes me think of the children I care for and how I relate to them. In context of the game, I am also thinking of the multi-colored monks, but it is harder to see how the passages relate to my governance of them.
The Tao Te Ching tells me that a leader should not, in a sense, be known. I need to be quieter. When I think too much about moving the monks, they die.
The Tao Te Ching says that I must trust the distrustful. This conflicts with my sense of justice, or else it conflicts with my sense of vengence. I do know that distrust is tiring. I shall try to only concern myself with what I can see. Life is too short to be fighting shadow wars. This should also be useful in mitigating analysis paralysis.
A good man is a bad man's leader and a bad man is a good man's project. Something like that. How is this to be understood if good and bad men are just men?
I sometimes wish I could reference the Tao Te Ching, but the game is put away.
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