Every Man Needs A Shed

Life and Games (but mostly games) from Tony Boydell: Dad, Husband and Independent UK Game Designer, Agricola fanboy and jealous admirer of Carl Chudyk. www.surprisedstaregames.co.uk
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The Professionals

Anthony Boydell
United Kingdom
Newent. Glos
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Get this playing and then read on...




Boffo and Smudge was already dahn the boozer when I skidded me motor into the car park; I did a capple o' donuts for good luck then climbed aht froo the winduh. A dodgy old geezer wiv a dog was watchin' from the pavement: "Wotchoo lookin' at, you slag?!" I sez. He juss looks at me and sez naffin', so I nutted him and I nutted his Lahndan Fog 'n all. Ponce.

There wuz no sign o' Jobbers - probly doin' iz missus or robbin' a Post Office...or boph (knowin' Jobbers) - but there was a new bloke 'angin abaht wiv the Batesons by the name of "Bodie"*. 'E 'eard abaht us from Boffo's blog and fort he'd give it a try; 'ees from the same neck o' the woods as Gentleman Daffers, apparently. 'E might be a rozzer in disguise, so we did the Breese Test on 'im (any gamer wurf iz salt iz gonna recognize a Richard Breese game, innit?):


Keyfeedrull: Looks pretty? It can give you a birrova slap if you don't wotch aht, tho'.


'E seemed to get the 'ang of it and made enough uvva Key game references for us to fink 'e was cosher. I fink Boffo won but it were vewy close.

Kingdom Bilder woz next; iss bin a long while since we popped this wan on the Aunt Mabel but it was a proper treat. Bodie was cussin' on accahnt of 'im drawin' naffin but Sand 'n Ravine cards all the Harry, so 'e was beginning to fit right in: diamond.


Thass a loverly line o' Rats you got there, chief; be a shame if ennyfing 'appened to 'em, woodenit?


Course, the real test was when we offered 'im a nice cuppa Rosie; mind you, Bodie's only red Boffo's blog so eed not 'eard of Rosie before or, as it turns aht, Snowdonia either! Wozz the matter wiv da man, eh? Az ee bin livin' in annava cahntry or summut?

'Ang on, tho' - maybe eez bin in chokey doin' bird..? Proppuh geezuh!


We played in just over an hour, which ain't bad for five. It was very tight and Boffo's extra Rosie (and one more contract than Smudge) took 'im to the win.


Boffo started bangin' on abaht tea bein' too powerful but ee duz talk aht of his Myleene sumtimes; we just 'ad a very sunny game, is all. But I did like iz idea of half-a-point for a tea leaf**. I woz speshully pleased to see a lot of chai bein' drunk which means the game lives ahp to iss name!

Bodie 'ad to leave - summat about seein' a man abaht a motor - so the rest of us finished wiv some raw Lillian:


Sushi Go!? More like Sushi Leave It Aht!, Princess!


Boffo woz way ahead in this 'un too; eez gonna aff to be careful, mind, coz no-one likes a smart arse. He might av to check his brakes for a while, innit?

Now: fack orff, you cahnts.

*cue: everyone askin' 'im where Doyle woz
**as in a "leaf of tea" NOT a robber
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