That's What She Said

The continuing adventures of the After-Work Fun-Group. Who knew that a free copy of Chaos in the Old World would springboard into a regular gaming group and some of the best friends I've ever had.
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Going Nowhere, Boldly or Otherwise

Charlotte Malone
United States
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Last night was game night. (Sorry for the delayed post, we finished late, I was bone tired, and even more new Ashes decks released yesterday, so my mind was elsewhere. Or asleep.) Steve was back, and he still wanted to play Star Trek: Ascendancy. (I had stopped off to pick up my new Ashes decks on the way to dinner, and I mostly just wanted to open the boxes and roll around in the cards, but I restrained myself.) We got busy ascending.



I was the Romulans. The only upside to being the Romulans is they’re green. Not my favorite shade of green, but green nonetheless. Workman was Star Fleet (not green - suck on that!), Steve was the Cardassians (not Kim and Kanye), and Leon was the Ferengi (big ears, odd foreheads).

Full disclosure: I am not a Trekkie. Not really. I spent many a glorious afternoon of my childhood watching the original William Shatner series. I was a fan. And I was a fan of the original movies (KHAN!!!!!!) But I never watched The Next Generation or any generation thereafter. So I’m really only partially into the theme.


My lesser-shade-of-green Romulan ships. I also had a fleet of Roll-for-the-Galaxy-green ships, but they were cloaked. You can’t prove otherwise.

We were slow to start. Lots of rules questions. Lots of Workman reading the rulebook. I’m usually the head-in-the-rulebook person, but I was busy restraining myself from running into the other room and rubbing my face all over my new Ashes cards. But we finally got moving.


Steve’s Keeping Up with the Cardassian’s brown ships. This was their most flattering angle. From all other angles, they looked like.....never mind.

After our slow start, I was even slower to get moving. I couldn’t remember the difference between moving at warp speed versus moving at impulse speed, and I didn’t have a game plan. I tried to discover planets, but the planets I landed on sucked. Kind of. I wanted yellow resource planets but mostly only found red and blue. And don’t even talk to me about hazards.

I couldn’t get enough yellow to ascend, or at least not as quickly as Steve was ascending. Workman wasn’t ascending either, but everybody assumed he was just playing possum. Leon was also ascension-challenged, but the Ferengi were weird. He clearly wasn’t doing what the rest of us were doing, and I don’t think he was even trying to ascend. (Actually, I wasn’t sure what he was doing. But we had a trade agreement. So I benefited from whatever it was.)

Interesting side note, I didn’t realize until well more than halfway through the game that ascending wasn’t the only win condition. Awesome! I mean, I knew I didn’t have a great grasp on the rules, but it would have been nice to know how I might could have won. You know, if I’d really wanted to. If I cared about such things.

Admittedly, I didn’t try very hard. By the time I got my head around the rules, it was too late to do anything. And the Romulans are an aggressive faction. We all know how well I play aggressive factions.


This may have been the biggest part of my problem. I was overly exhausted.

I think the game took about three and a half hours, way longer than our normal weeknight game. At one point, Workman suggested we call it because Steve clearly had it in the bag, but Leon thought he had a chance, so we kept on. Workman had checked out - he was focused on his phone for most of the last half - and I just kept thinking about my Ashes cards. I finally went and got them, thinking I could at least sleeve them between turns. As soon as I did, Leon and Steve called it. (Of course they did.) Steve would win in two turns and no one could stop him.


You know the joke. I don’t even need to say it.

I’m not sure what it is about this game. On paper, it sounds like a solid 4X game. But both times I’ve played, I just found it boring. Steve and Leon really enjoyed it. Not sure about Workman (he probably just couldn’t believe he didn’t win). I’m sure we’ll play again, but probably not on a weeknight. At least I hope not.


Leon sprung for the cool mat. I did like that. The galaxy looked really cool.

After seeking out new lives and new civilizations, we didn’t even have time for Love Letter. I went home and went straight to bed and dreamed about new Ashes cards. (And I’m happy to say that after a mediocre night’s sleep and an ok day at work, I FINALLY got to play with my new cards. And I’m 2-0. That is all. #jerichokillisabadass)

So that was game night. Not my favorite game ever, but still game night. Which is always my favorite. Thanks for reading!
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