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from the back of the book

A Long Time Ago, In a Galaxy Far, Fa...
(No, wait, we can't do that...)
Space, the Final Fro...
(Oops, been done too...)
Greetings, Starfi...
(Damn, can't do that either...)
Once Upon A Time...
(Oh, never mind...)

Greetings, oh player of Giant Robot Games. Please ignore the above meanderings. Life is tough as an Allstar Umpire, and sometimes I get carried away.

Please enjoy the following rules for playing Critter-TEK. You too can be one of the elite of the Infield Franchises, the TEKwarrior. Striding about the battlefield your giant robotic TEK, crushing all resistance before you. The TEKwarriors are the best of the best, with their Big League-style equipment and spiffy uniforms. The highest noble of a franchise is nothing if they are not a battle-proven TEKwarrior. Did I ever tell you that I wanted to be a TEKwarrior, but this bad leg washed me out of the Spring Training. Never mind.

From our Allstar view atop the Mound in the center of the stadium of the universe, you will be given a detailled view of the Five Major Franchise Houses, the TEKwarriors that fight for them, and the Feared and Respected Free Agents they employ in their quest to win the Fourth Minor League Playoff.

Critter-TEK comes complete with all the "hauntingly familiar" rules necessary to engage in Giant Robot Combat, a little role playing, and lots and lots of explosions. A sense of humor is a must, and knowledge of FASA's BATTLETECH, Major League Baseball, and Funny Animals wouldn't hurt.

Critter-TEK is guaranteed to make you more desirable to the opposite sex, lose weight, and get a higher paying job. Or maybe just waste a few hours when you're supposed to be doing something else. So sit back, relax, and try not to bust a gut. That would hurt!

Use the Fo...
oh, never mind.

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This RPG is found in the book Critter-Tek.

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