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Subject: A Treatise On Dice Rolling Strategy rss

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Nairb Attobas
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Some of you folks despise games that involve dice. I urge you to read this article in its entirety anyway, in case the points I raise enable you to see past the dice and appreciate the depths of strategic gameplay involved in the act of rolling dice. You may also feel free to stop reading and move along (we promise we won't hold it against you), although you will be missing out on a wealth of information that could help you significantly in your next gaming session.

If you are like me, however, you regularly play games that involve rolling dice. In fact, many games we play can be won or loss depending upon how well we roll. Many clearly deficient individuals would claim that games in this category lack any amount of strategic merit, claiming that the dice control your fate, giving you no options during gameplay.

Bollocks!

Obviously, since you are the one in control of rolling the dice, you are in direct control of your own fate. The strategy lies not in how you apply the dice roll, but in how you roll the dice themselves.

As a result, I've compiled this strategy article analyzing the many ways in which the dice can be rolled, and my own experiences employing them. As you'll note: I will not recognize the numerous ways in which die rolls can be fabricated, pre-set, manufactured, or otherwise cheeetorred. I don't condone cheeetorring and therefore will not provide any information to those who might seek to improve their skill in practicing those dark arts. Strategic dice rolling is a serious affair, and I would put a pox upon those who might sully the name of our noble craft by circumventing the methods in favor of the end result.

BASIC ROLLING STYLES
These are rolling styles that can be employed by anybody. Small children traditionally use one of these methods, because they don't know any better. As folks play more dice-rolling games, they may eventually delve into the more advanced methods, but invariably this is where most people begin their dice-rolling journey. Some individuals never graduate out of this category. These sad individuals deserve our pity, as they haven't even begun to scratch the surface of the realm of strategic dice rolling.

Apathetic Dominant [Lefty/Righty]
Method: Pick up the dice with your dominant hand, give them a shake, and roll them on the table.

Commentary: This is the most unimaginative method in which to roll dice. If you generally employ this method, this shows either 1) your lack of enthusiasm for the game, 2) your lack of enthusiasm for life in general, or 3) that you are a lazy sod who just doesn't care. In any case, there's only one word to describe you: Apathetic.

Results: Your dice results will typically reflect your nonchalance and effete attitude. You'll deserve whatever poor results you receive.

Secret Cup
Method: Put the dice in a cup, cover top with your hand, give it a shake, and roll them on the table.

Commentary: This is a slight improvement over Apathetic Dominant [Lefty/Righty], if only because it requires the use of an additional piece of gaming equipment. Regardless, there is still a glaring lack of imagination required, and resultantly, you will deserve whatever results you happen to receive.

Results: Average dice results may show very slight improvement since the dice theoretically get knocked around more against the sides of the cup before they roll across the table.

Hyper-Active Closed Fist Dominant [Lefty/Righty]
Method: Pick up the dice with your dominant hand, hold your hand in a fist, ruthlessly pump your fist through the air in front of you a number of times before rolling the dice across the table.

Commentary: This method is quite a bit better than the previously mentioned, since it reveals an increased level of interest in the outcome. Having said this, it still lacks the complexities of the intermediate rolling styles, and therefore will fare poorly when compared against them.

Results: Better than the previous two basic rolling techniques, but still woefully inadequate when compared against the intermediate rolling styles. Don't even bother trying to compare them against the advanced rolling styles. You'd be wasting everybody's time, including your own.


INTERMEDIATE ROLLING STYLES
These styles are a marked improvement over the basic rolling styles, but still lack the involvement and skill required for the advanced rolling styles. As one might expect, these tend to yield better results than the basic rolling styles, but still pale when compared to the more advanced methods.

Vegas Roller
Method: Pick up the dice with your dominant hand, blow on them in your hand, give them a shake, and roll them on the table.

Commentary: As you'll note, this is very similar to Apathetic Dominant [Lefty/Righty], with the very crucial exception of blowing on them while they are in your hand before you shake them. It is believed that by doing this, the roller is attempting to invoke the direct influence of Fate upon the dice. A risky endeavor as we all know that Fate is a fickle mistress.

Results: Similar to Apathetic Dominant [Lefty/Righty], except when Fate decides to directly help you out, in which rare cases the results are outstanding. As I don't use this method often, I don't have statistics on how often Fate deigns to make her appearance.

Double-Handed Whammy
Method: Pick up the dice, hold them in both of your hands together (simulating a cup), give them a vibrant shake through the air in front of you, and release them on the table with a large amount of force.

Commentary: The roller should be careful of employing this method since it has a tendency to make a mess of things on the board, if they are not careful. Pieces can be pushed off their proper locations, or bits can go flying off the table entirely. It is generally preferable to roll the dice into a box lid, instead of the table itself, if this method is to be used.

Results: As the rolling method is something of an aggregate of both Secret Cup and Hyper-Active Closed Fist Dominant [Lefty/Righty], the results are similar to the aggregate value of both of those inferior rolling styles. It is also a bit more predictable than the Vegas Roller style.

Bouncy-Bouncy
Method: Pick up the dice, shake them in your hand, and then hurl them directly straight down onto the table, causing them to bounce before settling into their final position on the table.

Commentary: As with the Double-Handed Whammy, this method has a tendency to make a mess of the state of the board. Use caution, or a box lid, when employing this method. It is believed that upon bouncing on the table, the dice will convert to a more favorable position before the final landing.

Results: A bit less predictable than the Double-Handed Whammy since you are including more air friction into the equation in addition to the force added from the impact on the table. The physics calcuations are boggling, to be sure. (Except maybe to a physicist.)

Off-Hand High Drop
Method: Pick up the dice, hold them high up off the table, and then let them drop to the table.

Commentary: This is a bit less erratic than the Bouncy-Bouncy method since gravity is the primary force that is acting on the dice. Once again, using this method can have disastrous results on the game board if used improperly, so a box lid is a favorable thing to have handy if you intend to use this technique.

Results: As noted, this is slightly more predictable than Bouncy-Bouncy since the physics aren't quite as convoluted. Conversely, since there are less forces being enacted upon the dice, it gives you have less control over the dice, and you may be more disappointed with the results.


ADVANCED ROLLING STYLES
Here we finally come to the advanced rolling styles, where only those who have truly mastered the previous techniques should feel comfortable practicing these more difficult methods of strategic dice rolling. It should be noted that these advanced techniques are difficult, if not downright impossible, to completely master due to the level of concentration required for each attempt. Individuals can and will spend years and years of their lives honing their style to where they might pull off these maneuvers with a very small degree of accuracy. Due to the ridiculously difficult nature of these rolling types, unless they are all executed exactly as intended, the results can prove disastrous. These are not for those new to strategic dice rolling.

Swaying Monkey
Method: Hold the dice in your non-dominant hand, shake the dice in your hand while leaning side to side, focus your mind on the internal conflict between the desires of your human nature and the bare necessities required for the sustainment of your physical body. Upon achieving a complete understanding of self, release the dice upon the table.

Commentary: As noted above, this is an extremely difficult maneuver. Maintaining the concentration needed to acheive the complete understanding of self can come only with lots and lots of practice. I am not a big fan of this method.

Results: Great dice rolls can result, but only if you put in the time necessary to hone your mental capacities.

Off-Balance Badger
Method: Hold the dice in your non-dominant hand, bring it behind your back while thrusting out your chest and canting to the side, shake the dice while your hand is behind you, keeping your dominant hand out to the side, revolving your wrist in perfect circles until you throw the dice from your non-dominant hand over your shoulder onto the table.

Commentary: The key here is rotating the wrist in perfect circles. They must be exact circles. Any fraction of a degree off of a perfect circle will result in miserable failure. Although it doesn't require the mental acuity of Swaying Monkey, the precision needed for the hand movements bar only the most deft individuals from successfully completing the manuever.

Results: Once again, great dice rolls can result, but only if you have perfected the technique.

Wounded Crane Technique
Method: Hold the dice in your dominant hand, bring it behind your back, bring your non-dominant hand back to create a "cup" for the dice, shake the dice vigorously as you lean your head forward and twirl it around in a perfect circle; finally, catapult the dice between your legs onto the table.

Commentary: Another tricky move requiring moving the neck in, once again, absolutely perfect circles. Nothing else suffices and will result in failure. Strong neck muscles are important in completing this move, and, as a result, not everyone has the physical capability of successfully pulling it off. There have been numerous instances of individuals going to gyms or purchasing BowFlex machines to strengthen their neck muscles, but most of these stories end in tragedy as these individuals work their muscles too hard and destroy the tender meat around their neck.

Results: Amazing dice rolls can result, as will neck aches. Attempt with caution. Practice at your own risk, and please note that I do not condone practice of this risky technique, although I personally do train for this maneuver myself. I understand the risks inherent to this act, but I feel the end results are well worth the danger.

Belligerent Weasel
Method: Keeping your hands stretched out at full-length to either side, holding the dice in your dominant hand, throw and catch them with your non-dominant hand and then toss them back to your dominant hand. This must be done using only your wrists while keeping your arms absolutely still. The slightest amount of arm movement occurring outside the wrist or hands will result in failure. You must do this three times for every die that you need to throw, before finally unleashing them onto the table all at once. Any prematurely dropped dice will result in failure.

Commentary: Obviously, the less dice you are throwing makes this maneuver easier, but even when tossing only one die, the requirements are significantly challenging since successfully tossing the dice from hand to hand while keeping your arms absolutely still is a ridiculously difficult task. Only true masters can effectively utilize this technique with more than two or three dice.

Results: Amazing dice rolls and carpal tunnel syndrome have been known to result. Once again, practice at your own peril.


SUPER ADVANCED ROLLING STYLE

Cocky Chipmunk
Method: [CLASSIFIED]

Commentary: The Holy Grail of strategic dice rolling. The most difficult technique to master. At this moment, there are only two teachers rumored to exist, both in far-flung regions of the globe.

Results: Perfect dice rolls upon graceful, brilliant execution. Misery, otherwise.

Whiny Bow-Legged Octopus
Method: [CLASSIFIED]

Commentary: The individual steps are oft confused with Cocky Chipmunk, although the technique is not quite as effective. The nuances between the two techniques are very minor but discrete. Typically learned from Grand Masters of Strategic Dice Rolling before Cocky Chipmunk, it has been known to cause confusion and disgrace when mistakenly applied mid-Chipmunk.

Results: When performed purposefully, it is quite a good maneuver, although not quite as potent as Cocky Chipmunk. When applied by accident, horrific results tend to occur.



Those are the major techniques for strategic dice rolling. As I illustrated, the more advanced your maneuver, the better your dice rolls will tend to be, although there exists greater percentage of failure. Picking the proper style for each situation is part of the difficulty and enjoyment in strategic dice rolling. Only through constant practice will you begin to see which techniques are applicable for each individual situation.

Clearly, this article does not cover every single technique involved in strategic dice rolling, but only the most popular and enduring moves that have been tested by the ages and which still find use even today in modern gaming.

Also, when playing craps (or other dice games) in Las Vegas casinos, it is not advised to attempt the more advanced techniques as most of the popular casinos have banned them from use. Attempt at your own peril. I, for one, am rather fond of my kneecaps, thank you very much.

For all you individuals who enjoy games that involve numerous dice rolls, I hope that I was able to help broaden your strategic options and give you greater insight into the classic techniques of dice rolling. My hope is that you will use this information to improve your own gaming.

For those individuals who hold "dice games" in such low regard who have continued to read to this point, I hope that I have perhaps given you a better appreciation of the numerous strategies and tactics that can be employed while throwing the dice.

If you dedicate enough time to studying and practicing these techniques, then you, too, can derive a similar sense of strategic accomplishment out of a game of Chutes and Ladders as you can from Tigris & Euphrates.

At that point, you will have entered a brave new world where scant few have ever dared enter.

Come, join us.

We all float down here.
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Josh Luub
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You can't overemphasise the caution required for the advanced techniques. I played a game of Titan once where one player was using the Belligerent Weasel technique, with moderate success. At one point he attacked with a stack with 5 serpents. After flawlessly throwing dice from hand to hand for over twenty minutes, he spontaneously exploded.

Please don't try this at home. Especially at my home.
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Kane Klenko
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Um, you forgot the Grisled Wombat. Otherwise this is very helpful. Thank you.
 
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Dane Peacock
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Excellent
 
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Sifu
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Quite a nice treatise, although I'd like to add a footnote to the effect that the Cocky Chipmunk is but one sort of "interpretation" of the Sleeping Squirrel.

Commentary: Whereas the Cocky Chipmunk is the Holy Grail of the known dicing world, the technique simply wouldn't exist were it not for the Sleeping Squirrel. There are no teachers of the Sleeping Squirrel, as it cannot be taught. It must be realized. The Cocky Chipmunk, or so I've been told, came into being as the technique of a fallen Sleeping Squirrel master.

Results: If you can actually execute the technique at all, you cannot fail to obtain a perfect role. Of course, the nature of perfection is not always apparent, even to a master of the Sleeping Squirrel - occasionally, the purity of a given role will not be understood until years later.
 
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Graham Smallwood
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Wow, I feel as if I have journeyed all my life to reach this point and hear your wisdom. I have developed a few techniques of my own over the years in my minis career. Could you please read my descriptions and tell me if my methods display some intuitive mastery of higher forms of dice rolling, or if, as my friends tell me, I am "just a spaz"?

Grip the dice firmly, but without squeezing. Take a deep breath. Throw fist forward violently as if rolling, but pull back without letting go. On this recoil, slap the back of the hand holding the dice as you throw open your fingers. This will propel the dice to the table, and I find it very useful for breaking dice slumps.

Hold the dice pinched in your fingers and bring them to your lips. Firmly and matter-of-factly tell the dice what they will roll. Turn 90 degrees left from the table. Raise both hands and your left knee as high as you can. Starting slowly, lower your outstretched arms without bending your elbows. A third of the way to the horizontal, accelerate as fast as you can, slamming your left foot to the ground, throwing the dice, and giving a loud kiai. This one is so draining I have only ever done it once per game.
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Kane Klenko
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Dorque wrote:

Grip the dice firmly, but without squeezing. Take a deep breath. Throw fist forward violently as if rolling, but pull back without letting go. On this recoil, slap the back of the hand holding the dice as you throw open your fingers. This will propel the dice to the table, and I find it very useful for breaking dice slumps.


That's the Grisled Wombat.
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Chad Winter
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Dorque wrote:

Hold the dice pinched in your fingers and bring them to your lips. Firmly and matter-of-factly tell the dice what they will roll. Turn 90 degrees left from the table. Raise both hands and your left knee as high as you can. Starting slowly, lower your outstretched arms without bending your elbows. A third of the way to the horizontal, accelerate as fast as you can, slamming your left foot to the ground, throwing the dice, and giving a loud kiai. This one is so draining I have only ever done it once per game.


You should quickly seek out a Dice Master to train you! Your natural talents are great, but must be honed and tamed lest they are unleashed upon the world in a wild and terrorizing frenzy.
 
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Aaron Lambert
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Wow!

I never knew there was such depth to dice rolling! I have been rolling dice now for nearly 30 years and I am ashamed to admit that I am still using the Hyper-Active Closed Fist Dominant method. Sometimes it is accompanied by mumblings of "Oh please! Oh please!", which may affect the outcome slightly, but it still pales in comparison to some of the advanced techniques you have listed.

Thank you for your great wisdom!
 
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What do you call my technique for breaking out of a slump? It involves putting the dice in your mouth and spitting them onto the table. Not only does it break the slump, but no one else wants to use my dice anymore, so I get my own set for the game. It can actually be quite dangerous as games that require rolling large numbers of dice CAN be a choking hazard for the uninitiated.

Chad
 
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Nairb Attobas
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chad56s wrote:
Dorque wrote:

Hold the dice pinched in your fingers and bring them to your lips. Firmly and matter-of-factly tell the dice what they will roll. Turn 90 degrees left from the table. Raise both hands and your left knee as high as you can. Starting slowly, lower your outstretched arms without bending your elbows. A third of the way to the horizontal, accelerate as fast as you can, slamming your left foot to the ground, throwing the dice, and giving a loud kiai. This one is so draining I have only ever done it once per game.


You should quickly seek out a Dice Master to train you! Your natural talents are great, but must be honed and tamed lest they are unleashed upon the world in a wild and terrorizing frenzy.


Truer words have never been spoken. There is nothing more irresponsible than letting loose with one's natural inclinations for attempting the more advanced methods without any proper training, even if one harbors the natural skill involved. Much like how Bruce Lee was required to check his hands as weapons when boarding planes, you need to be aware of the dangerous power that resides in you and take the precautions to ensure that nobody gets hurt.

willythesnitch wrote:
What do you call my technique for breaking out of a slump? It involves putting the dice in your mouth and spitting them onto the table. Not only does it break the slump, but no one else wants to use my dice anymore, so I get my own set for the game. It can actually be quite dangerous as games that require rolling large numbers of dice CAN be a choking hazard for the uninitiated.

Chad


At first glance, it sounds like a variation on the Lonely Gamer technique to me. I'd have to peruse some texts to be sure, though.
 
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Jackson Pope
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I must admit I prefer the 'Laughing Buddha' technique - although it can only be performed by the initiated.

One merely meditates on the nature of the universe for 2 hours and 6 minutes exactly before willing the appropriate number of dice into exsistence, with the required faces showing.

The only downside is that it can extend the length of a game to the point where other players lose interest, start a family or leave this world before you finish.
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Ray
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ben_ethus wrote:
Vegas Roller
Method: Pick up the dice with your dominant hand, blow on them in your hand, give them a shake, and roll them on the table.

At one time we had two brothers in our game club that used a variant on this method -- but instead of blowing on them they rubbed them against their crotch and let loose a trail of obscenities that would make DWTripp blush.

Not only did this work fairly well, but it also kept other folks from handling their favorite dice.
 
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Giles Pritchard
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The Soothsaying Touretts Sufferer:

Method:

Grip the dice like a desperate man grips the ridge on his inner thigh; teeth clenched, eyes wide and possibly twitching. Gyrate the whole body spasmodically; at this stage the face should be red and the eyes should be filled with tears of hope and the potential for violent rage.

It is now that the noise making should begin. Beginning in the back of the throat the noise should start as a whisper of hope, like the first breath of air through an accidently opened window in a D& D player's flat. Slowly it should grow in intensity and volume like a breaker rushing at the beach.
The face should be getting redder, the gyrations more violent, the gripping of the inner thigh more painful. Veins and arteries should be seen to be struggling to supply the brain with blood - from outside the body they should appear to be purple ridges like twisted steel-cord and coursing with the inner-struggle unfolding.

Finally, the shaking and noises should reach a crescendo, like a violently ill man orgasming the Soothsaying Touretts Sufferer should fling the dice onto the table with the spasm of the hand and scream the desired number in the voice of exalted hopeless vain hope.

Commentary:

Can frighten non-gamers.

Results:

This special roll is usually reserved for the single crucial dice roll that will decide the fate of two armies, the future of two empires, or whether you'll land on that last blasted snake. Unfortunately the Soothsaying Touretts Suffer roll often falls under the banner of 'tempting fate' - and as such will usually have an effect opposite to the one desired.

It has been theorised that the reason this roll has the opposite effect is because at the crucial moment of cosmic alignment the thought that bursts into the forefront of the dice-roller's mind is 'Not a f*$@#^g 1 (or 6)' - and it is to this blinding neon mental sign that the cosmos is attracted - like a demented moth to a cursed flame.

Despite the appalling record of this rolling technique it is widely used - though usually saved until a crucial point in a long and close game.
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Darrell Hanning
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I once flipped through a book I took to be a pictorial treatise on dice-rolling techniques in two-player games. It was called Kama Sutra, or some such. However, in some of the methods displayed, it was difficult to determine which participant was actually rolling the dice.

Brian, have you seen this book, and - if so - can you comment on its technical merit? Thanks.
 
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Nairb Attobas
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DarrellKH wrote:
I once flipped through a book I took to be a pictorial treatise on dice-rolling techniques in two-player games. It was called Kama Sutra, or some such. However, in some of the methods displayed, it was difficult to determine which participant was actually rolling the dice.

Brian, have you seen this book, and - if so - can you comment on its technical merit? Thanks.


Darrell, you are not the first person to have believed this particular tome of knowledge to be a manual on advanced dice rolling techniques. Sadly, this is not the case.

I have heard horror stories of individuals attempting to use the maneuvers gleaned from that book in the midst of gaming sessions only to have things devolve into ruin. If you notice anybody during your game attempting one of these moves, I suggest you get out of the way as quickly as you can.

Or put on a raincoat.
 
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Michael Decker
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I have searched many years and have grown old before my time seeking words of discerning wisdom such as this. I bow at my dice tower altar, and only hope I can be worthy.

Such techniques are higher than the clouds, and indeed, hope unfulfilled are like clouds heavy with rain that give none, (as have often the dice given to me.)

My leaders wounded, my squads step reduced, my heavy machinegun broken, I look once more to those tiny, pearled wonders of evenly balanced engineering resting lightly in the sweaty palms of my hands. Can it be that there actually is some mystical force that dictates the final place they will rest with either a message of renewed hope, or crushing despair? Do those cubed prophets of doom or delight have tiny minds of their own that with a vision that extends past the edge of the horizon, see the turmoil that lies within my soul, or the tightness that surrounds my spinchter?

I will roll again, grimly moving forward, my eyes slits, my hands reluctantly letting the polished perils fall where fate may take them. I have no choice, although now with an almost epileptic fervor, I have come to the end of my wandering search, discovering the means by which I might coax some charity from these plasticized providers of escape and perhaps bliss...
 
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Brian Lemon
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I reverently acknowledge the masterful wisdom so freely given. What are your thoughts about dice towers? Is there one particular material that makes for an especially effective dice tower?

Lego?
Wood?
Wool?
Wood and wool?

I patiently wait your wisdom.
 
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Ken B.
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This might be the funniest I've ever read on the Geek.


And yes, I've read Joe Gola's Amun-Re Session report.
 
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Nairb Attobas
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LiMoN wrote:
I reverently acknowledge the masterful wisdom so freely given. What are your thoughts about dice towers? Is there one particular material that makes for an especially effective dice tower?

Lego?
Wood?
Wool?
Wood and wool?

I patiently wait your wisdom.


Dice Towers rank below even the Basic Rolling techniques, as using one requires absolutely zero amount of rolling on the part of the player. The individual in question can just put their dice in the tower, and let them drop.

Although, theoretically similar to Off-Hand High Drop, the tower removes the human component from the entire process. At that point, you might as well just set up a machine to drop your dice for you, so that you can just push a button to play your games. (Don't get me started on the Pop-O-Matic bubble.) Without the human element, strategic dice rolling is nothing. The synthesis between Dice and Human is an integral aspect of the overall technique.

If you insist on using a dice tower, pick whatever material you feel will best mitigate your shame in knowing that small children are using more advanced rolling techniques than you.
 
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Dominic Crapuchettes
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Master Sabotta-

Never before has a more brilliant treatise been writ on the subject. You would do our community great honor to compile another such tome for drawing the perfect tile or card in PR, T&E, Power Grid, Prince of Florence, El Grande, Ra, and etc.

I also have a personal interest upon which I have found limited academic research. How can I have a greater effect on who is killed on the first round of Werewolf? I have tried all the usual; emotional plees, logic, quite concentration, clenching my teeth and my gonads (though I have not yet tried clenching someone else's gonads), and passive aggression. All have had limited effect.

I eagerly await your next scholarly compilation.

Thy Submissive Salamander
 
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David Rauscher
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I hate any style other than rolling the dice. Just roll the dice, gosh darnit! Too many people seem to be under the illusion that either (1) some special technique is needed to "bless" the dice to get the result you want, or (2) that they've figured out a way where, if they hold the dice just right, with this face up, the odds based on height off the table, strength of roll, etc., will result, due to pure physics, in such-and-such a side coming face up.

Let the dice be random! Down with the posers!
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James Smith
Australia
Ashburton
Victoria
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David_Rauscher wrote:
I hate any style other than rolling the dice. Just roll the dice, gosh darnit! Too many people seem to be under the illusion that either (1) some special technique is needed to "bless" the dice to get the result you want, or (2) that they've figured out a way where, if they hold the dice just right, with this face up, the odds based on height off the table, strength of roll, etc., will result, due to pure physics, in such-and-such a side coming face up.

Let the dice be random! Down with the posers!


Heresy! Blasphemy! You don't want to start a Flame war that you can't win! I suspect that you are someone who is blessed with lucky die rolls and doesn't feel the need for different techniques to improve your game. One day your comeuppance will arrive! The Sages who possess the knowledge of the Cocky Chipmunk have powers that can curse naysayers like you into dice vegetables!

Quote:
Unfortunately the Soothsaying Touretts Suffer roll often falls under the banner of 'tempting fate' - and as such will usually have an effect opposite to the one desired.


caradoc, I used this technique, rolled for an embolism and I got it!!
 
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Nairb Attobas
United States
Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
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David_Rauscher wrote:

I hate any style other than rolling the dice. Just roll the dice, gosh darnit! Too many people seem to be under the illusion that either (1) some special technique is needed to "bless" the dice to get the result you want, or (2) that they've figured out a way where, if they hold the dice just right, with this face up, the odds based on height off the table, strength of roll, etc., will result, due to pure physics, in such-and-such a side coming face up.

Let the dice be random! Down with the posers!


Shoddy attempts at advanced rolling techniques performed by misanthropes with no training are sure to disgust and alienate even the most casual of acquaintances. You, sir, clearly haven't seen a well-studied Strategic Dice Roller ply his skills; for once you witness the stunning feats of dice control performed by an adept trained in the fine arts of rolling, you would most assuredly gain a greater understanding of the necessity for this particular craft.

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Master Sabotta-

Never before has a more brilliant treatise been writ on the subject. You would do our community great honor to compile another such tome for drawing the perfect tile or card in PR, T&E, Power Grid, Prince of Florence, El Grande, Ra, and etc.

I also have a personal interest upon which I have found limited academic research. How can I have a greater effect on who is killed on the first round of Werewolf? I have tried all the usual; emotional plees, logic, quite concentration, clenching my teeth and my gonads (though I have not yet tried clenching someone else's gonads), and passive aggression. All have had limited effect.

I eagerly await your next scholarly compilation.

Thy Submissive Salamander


I appreciate your acclaim, but I am merely the messenger representing those who have extensively studied this field for years and years. Frankly, I'm a bit surprised that nobody prior to myself had shared any of this on BGG before now. I suppose that fact illustrates the general level of disdain heaped upon that particular subsect of games that require dice rolling by the majority of the BGG crowd.

In regards to the other topics you mentioned, another treatise might be possible, but only after extensive research into the each of the areas has been concluded. I do not claim to have much knowledge currently about the particulars of tile selecting, nor on the machinations required for a game of Werewolf.

So, patience, young Salamander.

Why not take this opportunity to start your official training from a Dice Master to hone your rolling skills?
 
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