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Subject: Women's Chat - Vol II rss

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Jonna
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"Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering." ― Steve Maraboli
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नमस्ते (Namaste) – I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.
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Sorry for your loss Ilse soblue
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Kimberly
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Ilse23 wrote:
Mostly a lurker over here too, thank you for opening the new chat.

Yesterday my hamster Floor passed away, she was such a joy and will be missed.


I am so sorry for your loss! I can empathize with you as my husband and I had to put our dog of 13 1/2 to sleep in February. One of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I still miss Turbo like hell!!! I often hear his bark and sometimes think he's going to be waiting for me when I get home. It's better than it was, but still hard.

I hope you have peace as our fur babies are family and a big part of our lives. <3
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Judy Krauss
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My condolences, Ilse.
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Rose
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HUGS, Ilse
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Caysi McQuillan
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If it is possible, i am asking for some advice. For those that do not know, i used to be a game demonstrator for Eagle/Gryphon Games (i sorta put myself into retirement after the divorce). I haven't been out there demoing games in over a year and am a bit rusty. Plus, my separated husband (sadly, yes, this is STILL going on...long story about this) is still in the board game demoing world with his company that he volunteers for.

At the same time, since i have been out on my own for a little over a year, my boardgaming has been slowing down A LOT. The boyfriend is a good sport, but honestly, is not a board gamer and never will be. He tries because he knows it is a big part of my life but has admitted that he will never be at the level i am.

So, I have the opportunity to volunteer at a local con in October. I most likely won't get any credit for it with Eagle Games because i don't really like how things are running with them currently and i have way too much credit built up that i can't currently spend. I am afraid of running into my husband. Haven't seen him in over a year, and i am sure i won't be pretty if we do see each other. But at the same time, i miss it soooooo much.

I just don't know what to do, and i don't want to commit myself to something and then back out. I have to turn my form in with my answer of participating or not soon.

What would you do in this situation?
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Caysi McQuillan
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Ilse,

I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost a few pets and i know how close they become. *HUGS*
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Jonna
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"Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering." ― Steve Maraboli
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नमस्ते (Namaste) – I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.
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Caysi, my mother taught me a method to figure things out when there's a difficult decision to make:

A) Close your eyes, releax, and then imagine doing the demoing. Concentrate on listening to how you feel about this. Are you nervous? Is it good kind of nervousness? Anticipation? Are you anxious? Are you happy, does it feel right/wrong?
B) The shake it off and close your eyes again and imagine NOT going. Concentrate on listening to how you feel about this. How does not going make you feel?

This usually makes decisions a little bit easier for me. You're in a situation where no one can really tell what the right choise is, except for you. I would do what feels right for you. If going feels right, do it, despite maybe bumping into your ex. No one should stop living their lives because of fear of bumping into their ex's. If not going feels right, then don't go. Don't let the fear of missing something make you do something that doesn't feel right. In general, don't let any kind of fear make the decision for you, do what you feel is right, in your heart.

Good luck with making the decision, I'm sending you positive thoughts <3
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Laura Blachek
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Thats a great method, Jonna. Will have to remember it. ( i am gonna miss you when you go offline for your training. - thats this fall, right)

My method is usually to flip a coin. Sometime between when the coin is in the air to just after i see it i realize which side i want it to land on and act accordingly.
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Christina Kahrl
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Ilse: Sorry for your loss, losing a pet is always a big deal.

Caysi: It's just my two cents tossed in, but Jonna's advice is excellent. I suspect from the tenor of your post you may already know the answer foĺlowing the decision tree she recommends, but more generally my thought is that you should never give up on something that brings you joy. This is your choice for you -- don't be afraid to do what will make you happiest.
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Kimberly
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Caysi,

I agree with the other ladies. If it's something that obviously brings you joy and feels right then don't give up on it. Do this for yourself! I can feel how much you love it!

I can only imagine how hard it would be to run into your Ex, but don't let that stop you from something you obviously miss and really like doing. You can do it!

Is there someone who can volunteer with you and give you moral support?

I'm thinking about you and hoping you can get back to volunteering and demonstrating games!!! I'm cheering for you from the sidelines!!! <3
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Joline
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Hey Caysi
It might also depend on circumstances, for instance: are you volunteering in a group or are you alone at a booth? Is your booth and the booth he's potentially at close together? (both can determine how vulnerable you feel).

I've been in a sort of similar situation where I got really very anxious about my (bad-break-up) ex being at a party with mutual friends. In the end I braved it and made sure I was in a environment in which I was comfortable/less vulnerable (which for me meant staying close to friends and ignoring him). He took a hint and avoided me as well and afterwards I was very glad I had overcome the hurdle. It also gave me a sense of 'See, I'm doing ok'.

Of course you have to be ready for it and that's something only you can decide. Listen to your feeling.
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Joline
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Jonna Thanks for the new thread and the great tribute for Jood, I'm glad the Women's chat still has Jood in the header.
And wow talkative bunch! Reaching the page limit of the thread!
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Jessica
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Caysi:
Is there any way you could find out if he is going there and if so if he is going as a participant or to demo? I'm thinking there should be less risk of you running into each other if you are both demoing than if he is there as a participant so the knowledge might help with the choice.
Else than that I agree with the other ladies - don't give up on something you enjoy for the risk of maybe running into him. Maybe deciding on a strategy before you go for how to tackle it IF you run into him might help too.

Jonna: Nice intro to the new thread! heart I will try to lurk less and participate more this time around.
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Caysi McQuillan
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The situation would be that i am alone at a table teaching games. I did fill out the form, and there was a spot where i could request to work in the game library. This will be with others. Currently my ex and i are not on speaking terms, and will remain that way due to my lawyer's orders. The situation was not good when we parted ways (police involved). So i am unable to find out if he will be there or not.

If i do this, i may have a friend or someone there with me. I really can't be alone because i don't want a repeat of the incident that started this downward spiral.

I answered the email stating that i was interested but needed more information. I figured that will buy me some time until they contact me individually.

I have also been trying (unsuccessfully) to find a local gaming group. I even tossed around the idea of creating my own, but i have no place to host it at. If i am successful at this maybe this will solve my problem altogether.
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Rose
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sighs. Today was morning 15 of the last 21 with no hot water. (8 mornings without, 6 with, and another 7 without.) And I'm not feeling very convinced that it will be able to be fixed this week either. Holding on to the idea that at least we have clean water, but I'm getting tired of this.
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anjulka wrote:
sighs. Today was morning 15 of the last 21 with no hot water. (8 mornings without, 6 with, and another 7 without.) And I'm not feeling very convinced that it will be able to be fixed this week either. Holding on to the idea that at least we have clean water, but I'm getting tired of this.




I hope the landlord is reducing your rent for the month to make up for this inconvenience...
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Rose
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CallieMo wrote:
anjulka wrote:
sighs. Today was morning 15 of the last 21 with no hot water. (8 mornings without, 6 with, and another 7 without.) And I'm not feeling very convinced that it will be able to be fixed this week either. Holding on to the idea that at least we have clean water, but I'm getting tired of this.




I hope the landlord is reducing your rent for the month to make up for this inconvenience...


She's hinted that she will, but nothing definite. Maybe she's waiting to find out how many days it will be? I feel bad for her too, since it's a very expensive repair. But ....
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Camu Lina
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Ilse: A lot of love for you.
-
Caysi: Whoa, such a difficult situation. Im going to use the best of my english to express my idea: try to put yourself in confortable situations. Maybe this time is not the time, but in there future, there is going to be a chance to be at the demoing. Do you feel ready for that situation? What do you feel and think? Trying to answer that is never easy, having in mind the downspiral situation you are currently having.
About the gaming group: I'm sure you are going to find another group for playing, not tomorrow, but it will be another one.
-
Try to listen to yourself, and be calm.
A lot,really a lot of love for you.
<3
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Jonna
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"Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering." ― Steve Maraboli
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नमस्ते (Namaste) – I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.
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slaybalj wrote:
( i am gonna miss you when you go offline for your training. - thats this fall, right)

It is this fall, I'm off the grid between October 2017 and March 2018. And I'm going to miss you all so much!!!
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Kimberly
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Kattvippa wrote:
slaybalj wrote:
( i am gonna miss you when you go offline for your training. - thats this fall, right)

It is this fall, I'm off the grid between October 2017 and March 2018. And I'm going to miss you all so much!!!


Wow, that is awesome! Good luck in your training! I know you'll be missed. I just joined and enjoy seeing your posts so I know the ladies that know you well will really miss you!
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Lynette
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Thanks Jonna!

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Tally C
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partangel wrote:
The situation would be that i am alone at a table teaching games. I did fill out the form, and there was a spot where i could request to work in the game library. This will be with others. Currently my ex and i are not on speaking terms, and will remain that way due to my lawyer's orders. The situation was not good when we parted ways (police involved). So i am unable to find out if he will be there or not.

If i do this, i may have a friend or someone there with me. I really can't be alone because i don't want a repeat of the incident that started this downward spiral.

I answered the email stating that i was interested but needed more information. I figured that will buy me some time until they contact me individually.

I have also been trying (unsuccessfully) to find a local gaming group. I even tossed around the idea of creating my own, but i have no place to host it at. If i am successful at this maybe this will solve my problem altogether.

That definitely sounds like a tough situation, Caysi. Many of the other ladies have given good advice, but in the event you still haven't reached a decision, here are some other things you could think about.

Have you though about talking to your lawyer or your counselor/therapist (if you have one)? They might be able to give some good professional advice regarding this matter.

If you feel comfortable with it, you could consider mentioning the situation to the organizers/whoever you're contacting about the convention. These kind of situations are, sadly, a pretty common occurrence for many women, so they might be able to provide you with some options that would make you feel more comfortable or safer. Since they're asking for volunteers, it's certainly in their best interest to keep their volunteers happy and comfortable.

No matter whether you choose to go or not, I'm sure you'll make the right decision. I also hope you're able to find a local gaming group! If we lived closer, I'd certainly invite you to mine!
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Caysi McQuillan
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xelissa wrote:
partangel wrote:
The situation would be that i am alone at a table teaching games. I did fill out the form, and there was a spot where i could request to work in the game library. This will be with others. Currently my ex and i are not on speaking terms, and will remain that way due to my lawyer's orders. The situation was not good when we parted ways (police involved). So i am unable to find out if he will be there or not.

If i do this, i may have a friend or someone there with me. I really can't be alone because i don't want a repeat of the incident that started this downward spiral.

I answered the email stating that i was interested but needed more information. I figured that will buy me some time until they contact me individually.

I have also been trying (unsuccessfully) to find a local gaming group. I even tossed around the idea of creating my own, but i have no place to host it at. If i am successful at this maybe this will solve my problem altogether.

That definitely sounds like a tough situation, Caysi. Many of the other ladies have given good advice, but in the event you still haven't reached a decision, here are some other things you could think about.

Have you though about talking to your lawyer or your counselor/therapist (if you have one)? They might be able to give some good professional advice regarding this matter.

If you feel comfortable with it, you could consider mentioning the situation to the organizers/whoever you're contacting about the convention. These kind of situations are, sadly, a pretty common occurrence for many women, so they might be able to provide you with some options that would make you feel more comfortable or safer. Since they're asking for volunteers, it's certainly in their best interest to keep their volunteers happy and comfortable.

No matter whether you choose to go or not, I'm sure you'll make the right decision. I also hope you're able to find a local gaming group! If we lived closer, I'd certainly invite you to mine!


Thank you! When i hear back from the organizers i planned on bringing this up just so they have a heads up.

Also, the boyfriend and i are hoping to travel to NY at some point when we can both get away from work. We are hoping to go for my birthday/year anniversary in October. If schedules work out, i would love a game day.
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Lynn Chalfoun
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Hello, ladies. I'm sorry to barge in with a completely unrelated post, but I've still got 266 subscription notifications. There's no way I can catch up...

The reason for this is good. I'm on vacation with my family and we're loving our time in Scotland so far. Just in case anyone is interested, the BBC do a live stream of the World Pipeband Championship competition on Saturday, featuring the finals of the grade 1 (top) bands and then also the grade 2 bands, later in the afternoon. My son is in a grade 2 band (MacMillan) and they hope to make it to the final round. 12 out of 28 bands will. The qualifying heats don't end until about an hour and a half beforehand, so there will be little advance warning.

In case anyone is interested, here's a link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/60ZvBr6FlFskPzsCKP5...

In other news:
We've had amazing weather!
This place is beautiful.
I've been getting more confident at driving, even today conquering my great fear--the double mini roundabout.

Best wishes to all. I'll try to catch up soon!

And I'll leave you with a view of Loch Lomond:
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Jonna
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"Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering." ― Steve Maraboli
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नमस्ते (Namaste) – I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.
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Lynn, good luck to your son, I hope they will make it to the final round! Also, thanks for sharing the picture, it's so beautiful out there. I really want to travel to Scotland one day.
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