Comboteur "Crazed 'Beastface' Survivor" Fou
France
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Total clickbait.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
After getting out of the dreadful temple and collapsing near the exit, Raz awakens hours later, his mind dazed and his stomach grumbling. No breakfast and no hunt this time, as he looks East and a heavy rain pours. He tries to find shelter but draws 2 curse cards and trips over himself, getting soaked. The good thing is, he's not bloody anymore at last!!! But he's freezing, and now he has to keep Injured if he doesn't want the leaf insects to leave him. Leaves leaves. Yeah. Ahum. Moving on.

Soaking wet, Raz reaches the stone pillarS that loom over the sharp cliff leading to the pine-tree forest and looks North, where, to his dismay, 2 juvenile rockworms roam, nibbling on palmtrees. He's not prepared for that kind of stunt and he really wants to make it to the camp, so he heads back to the tunnel, uses the sculptured flower, and makes it out again, only to find everything gone! Wooh.

So he makes it back again to the stone pillars where he gets scratched, reveals a curse, and loses 6 cards. What a horrible night to have a curse!* He calms his nerved by savagely crafting a rope with a nearby vine and, while going North, stumbles upon somme bees, but he's not prepared for them so instead he heads back to the temple but goes North there rather than in, where monkeys start peskering him like furry bullies. Being a savage and furry beast himself though he manages to tame the monkeys and earn XP and passage to the carnivorous plants, where he notices a threat while scouting further North. But thanks to Tracker and Forewarned, he doesn't trigger the trap and reaches a noisy part of the jungle where he looks East to the pond, finding new energy at the sight of a hunting spot. Which he discards, because it's not useful to him right now.

Making it to the pond, Raz hunts for 3 cards without further ado. But having only 4 cards left in his deck he decides to skip the too risky bear, since he would probably die to bloody, and settles for a hare instead. Needless to say, he's not happy at all about that since he's saved a Bolas specifically for the bear for what, 2 sessions now? With a sigh he builds a fire and eats his 14 cards in silence, losing Freezing in the process.

He decides to rest in order to refresh the hunting spot in order to maximize the odds, and when he wakes he sees caterpillars crawling on him. He doesn't care for that, he's tough, he completely ignores them. And that earns him a Remember. So he hunts, for 2 cards since he's lost most of his gear. And finds nothing.

Now he's pretty nervous.

Here I could abuse card 888 and save/reload for a quick refill but since I'm doing session reports I don't want to fall into that kind of stuff. So moving on!

Remembering a Camouflage outfit and crafting it, Raz heads South and sneaks by the bees to grab a jar of honey that he gulps down for 7 more cards. He then looks East, hoping to reach the camp, but when it rains, it pours, and while he utters a tremendous F word, his fire goes out but Raz makes it to a shelter this time. Reaching the camp, he uses Fortiflore to craft a fire and get rid of his nausea, examines the notes and finds part 4 of the History frieze which is actually a fresco (yay!), rests to get rid of tired, and...

... And huge butterflies start waving their silk wings around his face, swarming him and demanding him to repent 5 times. But he can only do so 3 times, so they curse him and make him mad! What, that's it? What a letdown...


Oh my, are their razor-shap wings going to slaughter my face or what?


Since he's totally lost it he spends 18 XP to purchase Spare yourself, Bviouac, Poisoned bait and Tough nut. Not because he wants them, but because he really needs a thick deck as there are only 250 cards to hunt now and he's got no gear! Ugh!

Raz decides to go back to the pond and crafts a blowpipe before hunting for 2 cards thanks to Fragonia and Tracker.

But he finds nothing.

So he hunts for 2 more cards. He spots a Wild board but he gets greedy with the insects and the creature escapes him! Oh no!

So he hunts for 1 more card and gets poisoned by a snake.

So he hunts for 1 more card and spots a Mole Rat, he kills thanks to Valiant heart, losing 4 cards to tired. He goes back to the camp to eat the meat and 7 cards, rests to remove tired and spends 6 XP for an Improved camp and a Spear, then goes back to the pond.

So he hunts for 1 more card and banishes a Fresh spot. Oh no! Nightmare upon nightmare in a nightmarish pile of nightmares!

Now was not the time for a monstrous beast hunt, lest Raz should have died. His heart is full of sorrow and Akesha scowls heavily at him. Shame on the useless hunter.

So he hunts for 1 more card and gets poisoned by a snake.

He crafts a deadfall trap, and goes back to hunting.

So he hunts for 1 more card and gets poisoned by yet another snake.

At the point, Raz is on his knees and his deck is completely empty.

So he hunts for 2 more cards and scores a White hare! Mercy be on him! Ravenous but not out of his wits, he remembers a blowpipe, crafts it, then goes back to the camp to eat 14 sweet cards. He then goes back to hunting.

So he hunts for 2 more cards. And finally, there's a porcupine! Of course, he loses 5 cards to Injured, he had to, but then he goes back to the camp and eats 21 sweet, sweet cards. Oh Illuvatar!

With a half-full stomach and no energy left in him, Raz collapses for several days while the goat momckingly bleats and swallows down a mouthfull of grass, a malicious spark glowing in its eyes.


Hunt results may vary. Nothing's left in the jungle. I've killed them all. Even the children.


*This might be a geeky reference.
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Drake Coker
United States
San Diego
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Great read. Glad to see the tale continuing.
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