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Subject: Chit Chatter of the Day #4: jeffwiles rss

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The results of a five yeer studee ntu the sekund lw uf thurmodynamiks aand itz inevibl fxt hon shewb rt nslpn raq liot.
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Without further ado, I would like to introduce the next Chit Chatter of the Day....

Jeff Wiles
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JEFFWILES

Did you guys know his real name is Howard Z. Mumm? The username is just to throw everyone off his trail.

Anyhoo....

Quote:
I was born to a trio of Finnish typewriter repairists. When I became five, they traded two of me for a recumbent bicycle and the other three for airline tickets to Portland. I made my way south, eating only granola and chocolate covered raspberries that grew wild by the roadside. When the pirates attacked, I was able to survive by distracting them with puppetry until the ninja showed up. Ninja always ride single file to hide their numbers.

My favorite way to spend a morning is a quiet evening alone with a crowd. I enjoy steamed wool and flavored air. In addition to b____ g_____, my hobbies include reverse origami, whitewater ballooning, and posting threads about Bratz. Unfortunately, the Bratz line was discontinued just eleven short months before my first post, a magnum opus about Magnum P.I. and Opus the penguin's Bratz collections.

Two lies and a lie:

This one time, at band camp, my head a-splode.

My shorts are riding up.

I like traffic lights.


So, I guess I'll start this train ride with a few well-chosen questions:

1. What's the answer to this equation?



2. What is the atomic weight of Cesium?

3. Whose face is on the $2 bill?

4. Submarine?
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles

Betrayal! I was told this was going to be a thread about monkeys!

Monkey pics! Monkey videos! A petition for a monkey emoticon!

Ah well...
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
Do you fasten then zip, or zip then fasten?
Submariner or Aquaman?
Are you *sure* that Rolex your wife BOBbed me isn't accidentally real?
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
Verkisto wrote:

1. What's the answer to this equation?


Fifth root of tall would be...um...short!

Verkisto wrote:
2. What is the atomic weight of Cesium?

Sieze 'em? I barely knew 'em!

Verkisto wrote:
3. Whose face is on the $2 bill?

On Monday mornings, I'm dedicated to the proposition that All Men are created jerks.
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Verkisto wrote:
4. Submarine?

Hi! Thanks for coming!
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
I have one question and I want you to fess up!!

Did you send me a flaming eyeball from Texas?

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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
Well met and many happy returns of the day.

1) Is the Wichita Lineman still on the line?

2) Can you tell the difference between deer poop and rabbit poop from a distance of twenty feet?

3) What was the biggest thing you ever ate without puking?

4) Green Lantern vs. Galacticus?
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
Condolences, I mean CONGRATULATIONS Jeff!!

Let's see if I can remember my usual questions:

1) How many dirty children's shorts do you currently have (remember it is the SHORTS that are dirty, NOT the children!)

2) How many naked Barbie's can you see?

3) Cupcakes or Chorizo?

4) **NEW** - Barbie or Bratz?

5) Why?


Enjoy your day!!
Love & Kisses
kiss
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
* Is Iok Kyle Rayner's new name?

* When whitewater ballooning is it best to use helium or heroine?

* What the frak is a typewriter?

* What the deuce is a "frak"?

* Is Amwiles really married to you or is it an elaborate ploy of some sort?
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João 'Finding a new way to make you WTF today' Marum
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
My brain hurts! What can I do?
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
nycavri wrote:
Do you fasten then zip, or zip then fasten?

Velcro

nycavri wrote:
Submariner or Aquaman?

Never cared for Subby. There were actually a few good Aquaman stories. (H) I'm reviving Sinister Dexter's method of marking serious answers with (H). If you want a serious answer, mark the questions with (H).

nycavri wrote:
Are you *sure* that Rolex your wife BOBbed me isn't accidentally real?

We won't know for sure until it explodes.
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
Jatoha wrote:
I have one question and I want you to fess up!!

Did you send me a flaming eyeball from Texas?



That card has the mark of HiveGod on it, so technically it belongs to him. You'll have to ask him.
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
bismarck1871 wrote:
Well met and many happy returns of the day.

1) Is the Wichita Lineman still on the line?

I asked if I could put him on hold and he said yes. Sucker! That was last Monday.

bismarck1871 wrote:
2) Can you tell the difference between deer poop and rabbit poop from a distance of twenty feet?

Anyone who can't will spend a disproportionate amount of time cleaning their boots off.

bismarck1871 wrote:
3) What was the biggest thing you ever ate without puking?

An entire can of Grands biscuits and an entire can of beef stew (H)

bismarck1871 wrote:
4) Green Lantern vs. Galacticus?

Yes, please
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
EgorjLileli wrote:
Condolences, I mean CONGRATULATIONS Jeff!!

Let's see if I can remember my usual questions:

1) How many dirty children's shorts do you currently have (remember it is the SHORTS that are dirty, NOT the children!)

I did baby laundry last night, so ZERO.

EgorjLileli wrote:
2) How many naked Barbie's can you see?

I have Internet access. I can see infinite naked Barbies if I choose
EgorjLileli wrote:
3) Cupcakes or Chorizo?

Cupcakes. I'm scared to try chorizo.
EgorjLileli wrote:
4) **NEW** - Barbie or Bratz?

Poke my own eyes out
EgorjLileli wrote:
5) Why?

To make the hurting stop
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
So, oh, hey, enjoying the mix tape? Monkeys!
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
vandemonium wrote:
* Is Iok Kyle Rayner's new name?

Trick question?
vandemonium wrote:
* When whitewater ballooning is it best to use helium or heroine?

If you can get a heroine, by all means, have her come along. She'll save the day.
vandemonium wrote:
* What the frak is a typewriter?

Those treacherous Finns would never tell me.
vandemonium wrote:
* What the deuce is a "frak"?

4/7 of a dulon
vandemonium wrote:
* Is Amwiles really married to you or is it an elaborate ploy of some sort?

The short answer is "sock puppet". The long answer is longer.
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
MGBM wrote:
My brain hurts! What can I do?


It will have to come out!
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
MWChapel wrote:
So, oh, hey, enjoying the mix tape? Monkeys!


Brass Monkey!
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
Don't do it, Jeff! This is all a ploy to get an explanation of "Submarine"!
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
submarine
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Amy Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles

Did you know that your son has learned to hit the space bar to scroll the screen so I can't read the questions?


hbhhj nhb b5fgtgvvbghg vb b cfffffffffffffvdxcdcccccccccccccccccccvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvxxxxxfvghbn fv b bin b n n


(uh, that wasn't me!)
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
Wow! On the same day in history that the British Parliament enacted the Statute of Westminster, giving the option of complete legislative independence to the Irish Free State, Newfoundland, Canada, New Zealand, Australia and South Africa. How does that make you feel?

What would you choose to be reincarnated as if you came back as a..

winged animal?
ocean animal?
insect?
nationality other than American?
other Chit Chatter?
lunch meat?

If you were in the circus what would your act be?

What were your findings from yesterday's submarine experiment? Was the experiment a success?

If there was a phrase that when spoken by anyone anywhere around the world would cause you to die instantly, what phrase would it be?

Which chit chatter, excluding your wife and myself would you really like to give a piggy back ride to?

If you had your own state, what would you put on its quarter?

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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
The Boy wrote:

hbhhj nhb b5fgtgvvbghg vb b cfffffffffffffvdxcdcccccccccccccccccccvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvxxxxxfvghbn fv b bin b n n


Ladies and gentlemen! My son's first contribution to the Internet!!

Hmmm... It's better than MySpace, I guess.
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Jeff Wiles
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
amwiles wrote:

Did you know that your son has learned to hit the space bar to scroll the screen so I can't read the questions?



I didn't teach him that. devil
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
1) How can I stop my cat from knitting on my couch?

2) Why does my neck hurt?

3) Should I have this looked at?

4) What is the best way to improve my gas mileage?
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Re: Chit Chatter of the Day: jeffwiles
jeffwiles wrote:
vandemonium wrote:
* Is Iok Kyle Rayner's new name?

Trick question?

Trick answer‽ It's your avatar dude! I admit I haven't been following GL for awhile so I figure Iok is somehow import to the current arc.
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